Kurt Turns Evil Page #2

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- In my butt.

In your butt. Let me see...

How old are you?

-42.

- Have you eaten spoiled shrimp?

- No.

- Have you put anything up your butt?

- No.

- Should we call an ambulance?

Or a better doctor?

A miracle!

That's what I call doctors!

Allowme to buy you

an insanely luxurious dinner.

WonderfuI Copenhagen!

Hello, doctor!

- Let's get a job at the hospitaI.

- Rigmor wouldn't...

- Is Rigmor here right now?.

- No, you are.

Exactly! And I say

let's get a job at the hospitaI.

I'm a doctor, and I need a phone!

- Gunnar speaking.

- Hi. I quit as of... right now.

You can't quit. You've always been

a forklift driver. The best.

I need a more important job now.

- You're important to me.

- You don't know any better.

You've never

talked like this before, Kurt.

That's your problem!

I'm a doctor now. Bye!

Hello?

Rigmor?

Bud's a doctor

and you can go to hell!

- Here's the doctor's office.

- Here's the head doctor's office.

Here's the chief

head doctor's office.

And here's the super mega

chief head doctor's office!

Damned piece-of-junk machine!

- Are you the super mega chief?

- Yes, who are you?

We are two doctors

in search of a job.

- We are thumbtack specialists.

- And drowning specialists.

Interesting.

Let me see your diplomas.

- I think I left mine at home.

- I don't have one.

He's been in surgery all night.

He left his at home too.

I can't offer you a job

without seeing your diplomas.

- Fine.

- Be gone!

Sorry for the interruption.

Maybe you should try...

pushing right here.

Marvelous! We need more doctors

like you. I can make an exception.

That diploma

is nothing but cellulose, right?

- Exactly.

- But why is he so small?

He looks like a youngster.

He may not be old,

but he is very capable.

- Are you capable?

- I can even read and count.

- Rigmor says...

- Rigmor?

- She's another doctor.

- Is she now?.

- The job is yours!

- With a pager?

That goes without saying.

Without a pager, we doctors

would be utterly worthless!

And nowwe're doctors!

That wasn't so hard.

Patlentfor Dr. Kurt.

The hard part is treating patients.

Come in!

How are you feeling today?

- I'm feeling great.

- Good. And you?

- My stomach hurts.

- What do you say, Bud? A band-aid?

- I don't see any damage.

- My stomach hurts inside.

We can't see

inside your stomach, idiot!

How could we be able to see

Inslde your stomach?

- But what about my stomach pain?

- We'll feed you a band-aid sandwich.

Get well soon!

- We handled that well.

- What if he doesn't get better?

Then he'll come back.

By then we'll be better doctors.

All we need is some practice.

Next!

- Are you going to help her?

- What if it's contagious?

- ReaI doctors don't worry about that.

- We aren't reaI.

- Aren't you reaI doctors?

- Sure! That's a manner of speaking.

Doctor humor is quite speciaI.

- Have you eaten spoiled shrimp?

- Can you help me, doctor?

Help me, doctor!

I think I can help you.

There and there.

OK, you're fit as a fiddle!

- Thank you.

- What do you think, Bud?

- I'll say! That woman looked cured.

- Yes, we are quite capable.

I should hope so. I need help

with an operation tomorrow.

- An operation?

- You want us to operate on someone?

- The two of us?

- Is that a problem?

Not at all. No problem.

We can't wait!

Eager as kids.

ScalpeI.

- See? Howhard can it be?

- Child's play.

Dinner!

- What is it with you?

- Wait till mother comes.

I need to calculate the angle

between that beam and...

Would you be proud

if your father was... a doctor?

"Kill all the doctors,

kill all the nurses... "

Does this mean

a newhouse, car and cabin?

You bet!

Because doctors are loaded!

- And the worst disease you've seen?

- There are so many...

Has anyone been uglier than Helena?

My hair!

What's going on?

They're just happy because

their father is a... doctor.

- You aren't a doctor!

- Aren't you?

I have a pager.

It's illegaI

to pass oneself off as a doctor.

You could go to jaiI! It takes

seven years to become a doctor.

- What will Dr. Petter say?

- Seven years?!

Rigmor says time is relative.

Seven years could only take a minute.

- So you aren't a doctor?

- I am. Nowwe can hunt and traveI...

One can be whatever one wants!

That's what all your magazines claim.

And I'm sure Rigmor does too.

Starting tomorrow

you are no longer a doctor. Promise?

I promise.

WonderfuI, wonderfuI Copenhagen!

I notice that you placed that lung

in the wrong bowl, Dr. Kurt.

Rumor has it you aren't doctors.

That you've been fooling us.

Says who?

Impersonating a doctor

is a very serious crime.

You could almost call it... mean.

Mean? Rigmor says

it's important never to be mean.

Are you doctors, or not?

A scandaI!

A scandaI!

This is an utter scandaI!

A scandaI!

False doctors are loose

in the hospitaI! It's a scandaI!

We're almost out of here!

FC Rosenborg!

Stop them!

Your career as phony doctors is over!

Ow.

My foot!

My foot!

Freeze!

Help!

Help!

PLASTIC SURGERY:

Hey! Wait!

I'm coming to get you!

That back of yours...

CarefuI!

I have a bad back.

I hereby declare,

because I am so nice and popular, -

- the newwing

here at the hospitaI...

...open.

Hooray!

I'm cured!

A scandaI!

- My back!

- Let's go back in.

A scandaI!

Huge breasts, by the way.

Thank you.

What is going on?

- They pretended to be doctors.

- Outrageous!

- Aren't you Dr. Petter's neighbor?

- Yes. Nice to see you again.

No, it isn't! You can't go around

pretending to be a doctor.

- And neither can your son.

- We just wanted to feeI important.

Being a forklift driver

is also important.

Although not as important

as prime minister or doctor.

- Or policeman.

- Or doctor.

- We said doctor!

- It can be repeated.

- Then prime minister should be too.

- Doctor, doctor!

- Prime minister...

- Doctor...

FC Rosenborg!

- I just wanted to feeI important.

- I don't care.

You deserve a spanking

and a huge fine.

WonderfuI Copenhagen, yes!

You just wait.

I'll show all of you!

FOR SALE:

- What about breakfast?

- I'm tired of everything.

SCANDAL!

- You promised not to play doctor!

- Did I really promise?

- I just wanted you to be proud of me.

- I am. Sometimes.

Once last year,

or was it two years ago...

What a huge fine!

Did you get a fine, too?

Let me see.

- We're ruined!

- Ruined?

Won't we be able to afford food?

- Watch my hair!

- Enough of this. Kurt!

You're a forklift driver.

Now go back to work!

- But I told Gunnar I quit.

- Start again. You have a fine to pay.

- Good to see you again!

- Likewise.

- What is that?

- I owe you my most prized possession.

Ta-ta!

It's a... diamond!

WonderfuI Copenhagen!

Rigmor says that diamonds suck.

Big time.

Have you lost your mind?

You can sell this for millions!

- Are you a goldsmith?

- Maybe. It depends.

- Are you a goldsmith?

- You bet!

Amazing. Awesome.

Fantastic!

- Well? Is it a good diamond?

- I've never seen anything like it!

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