La Mission Page #5

- Oh, yeah,

l heard about that.

Canola oil?

That's supposed to be

good for the heart

or something, right?

- Yeah,

it's unsaturated fat.

- Oh, right, right.

- Anyway, enjoy.

- Wait.

l'll bring the plate

back tomorrow,

you know, when l'm done.

- l know where you live.

- Right?

Chocolate chip

with canola oil.

That's what l'm talking about.

- Man, shut up, cuz.

- You shut up.

- Gotta respect the O.G.

one time, for real, though.

- Man.

- l'm going out.

- Wednesday night

pick-up game, huh?

- Yeah, you looked like

you were busy, so...

- Nah, it'll just take me

a minute to suit up.

- Actually, l was gonna go

stop by Benny's house first,

so, you know...

- All right.

- Yeah.

l'll check you later.

- What, you're gonna

chicken out, pichn?

- Hey, man,

l was just tying my shoe.

- Of course you were.

Don't be scared, man.

Don't be scared

of these pichones.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,

ooh, ooh, ooh,

ooh, ooh, ooh.

Check that out.

- Hey, yo, can we dance

with your dates?

- As long as we can have

her sister.

- You can have her abuelita.

- Her abuelita.

- Yo, man, are we cool?

- You know it's all good.

- Where's

my three-point shooter at?

- Aw, he had to study

for a big test

and whatnot, you know.

- What's up, dog?

- So who's teams?

Pa, pa-pa-pa

Uh, ah

Oh.

- Somebody reported

a missing plate?

- That would be moi.

How were they?

- The cookies?

Great, the one that l had.

- He didn't share?

- No, he did.

l'm just playing.

- You know, l just put

some hot water on.

You want some tea?

- Yeah.

Hey, who's this?

- That is the goddess Kali.

You know, she's kind of like

the Virgin Mary,

except with teeth.

- l heard that.

- Honey?

- Yeah, sure.

- Did l tell you that

l finally met my new neighbor?

- Thanks.

Who, Mr. Gonzalez?

- Mm, is that his name?

- Yeah.

- You know, he's even been here

longer than my pops.

- Well, he's not exactly

the social type.

- Don't take it personally.

He's a little hard of hearing.

Plus, the last tenant

who lived in here,

they offered the landlord

triple the rent

to get Mr. G's unit.

- Hmm, gentrification.

- Almost.

You see, my pops helped him

fight the case in court.

And believe it or not,

they won.

You know, l think my dad

was even more happy

than Mr. G that day.

- You know, Jess,

your father thinks

the world of you.

- He can't even look at me.

- Che, Che, Che, Che.

Oh, damn!

- Jesus Christ!

- Why you got to front me

like that, man?

- Es que noms llama foul

cuando est perdiendo

este gey!

- Now, don't start

with your chili chatter, man.

- Someone gonna get

the ball, man?

- Hey, man, this is America.

You can't talk the sh*t

in English,

don't bother

to talk sh*t at all.

- Chili chatter?

Where'd you get that, B.E.T.?

- Hey, man, thanks a lot.

Say, you got a problem

with hearing?

- Nah.

l got a problem with faggots

living in my hood.

How about you?

What's the matter, bus driver?

Ain't got sh*t to say?

Oh, you remember me now,

huh, b*tch?

- La chota.

Vmonos.

- l'm gonna---

l'm gonna be driving today.

You want a ride?

- Nah, l'm meeting Gummy

at 8:
00.

- How's things going, anyway?

- What do you mean, at school?

- Yeah, school,

the neighborhood.

- Things are fine.

Why?

- l don't know.

Anyone been, like,

saying anything

or, you know,

giving you hassle?

- About what?

- l'll see you tonight.

- Hey, Pop.

Thanks for asking...

about the ride, l mean.

- Stay brown.

- Yo, what up, man?

- Come on, first period,

20 minutes.

- Yeah, man.

You're gonna have to go on

without me.

My moms is working overtime,

so l gotta take

these fools to school.

- lt's no problem.

l'll just cruise with.

- No, man.

l'm cool.

Go on ahead.

- You sure it ain't no thing?

- Yeah, man.

l'm cool.

Catch up with you later.

- Fine, whatever, man.

- Hey, hey!

- What's up

with the attitude, man?

Hold on, baby.

Catch up with you

in a minute, okay?

Be in there a minute.

Listen, man, l got to go ahead

with some business.

- That's all right, man.

l thought that---

- l know what you thought.

- Yeah, well, don't act

like you don't know

what people have been

saying around here.

- People say a lot of things.

That don't make 'em true.

- lf it is?

- Then it is.

Motherfucking beat goes on.

You know what l'm saying?

Hey, you know what l'm saying?

- You're crazy, man.

l'll see you at school.

- All right, man.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Did she bake you some cookies?

- No, man, you're already

misrepresenting the facts,

homes.

She made 'em

for the both of us.

- l don't know, dude.

Cookies are some serious sh*t.

What kind were they?

- Chocolate chip,

but she, you know,

she sweetened them

with some kind of special juice.

- She sweetened them

with her what?

- Don't f*** around, man.

l'm serious.

She's a deep lady, all right?

- l wonder if that means

he's finally gonna ask her out.

- What you mean, "finally"?

- Check him out, man.

Like he ain't been clocking her

since she moved in.

- You're tripping, man.

She's my neighbor.

- Don't you read the Bible?

You got to love thy neighbor

as thyself.

- Especially if that neighbor

got a booty like that.

Hey, yo, man,

hit me with that neck bone.

- Hey, l think

you should ask her out

for the Friday night cruise.

Dale gas,

you know what l mean?

- Don't you think

that'll be like,

you know, crossing the line,

l mean, her living in

the same building and whatnot?

- Not if you invite her

as a friend.

- l don't know why

you getting him all hyped up.

You know a chick like that

ain't gonna go cruising

on no Friday night.

- Hold on, hold on,

what you mean,

"A chick like that"?

- Come on, man.

Look how she dresses,

all organic and sh*t.

She probably don't even

shave her legs.

- You mean when your old lady

shaved your balls?

- Listen, man,

all l'm saying is,

a woman like that

ain't going for no loco

who drives a bus.

Man, she might be down

for the brown,

but unless you one of them dudes

that drinks soy lattes

and recycles his plastics,

she ain't wasting her time,

that's all.

- No, man, don't listen

to this fool, man.

He's been with the same woman

since eighth grade.

Motherf***er don't know sh*t

about romance.

- From someone who has kids

in five different states,

you would be the expert, huh?

- Damn skippy.

And if a black woman makes a man

some chocolate chip cookies,

that sh*t means something on.

Besides, what's the worst

she could do?

Say no?

Well, pass them cookies

over here.

l'll eat them motherfuckers.

Sh*t.

l'll lick the plate.

Sh*t.

- F***in' eat anything.

- Anything good?

- Oh, hey, what's up, Lena?

Just my $1 0 million check,

you know.

- Oh, well, l think you

might have my mail by mistake.

- Oh, right.

My bad.

[laughter]

Hey, check it out.

You know what?

A bunch of us are gonna go

on a little lowrider cruise

this Friday night,

and---no---I was just wondering

if, you know,

you didn't have any plans,

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