Ladybugs Page #3

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Now, you know that black people

are the best at sports, come on.

We're the best runners,

the fastest runners,

the best at track,

we're the best at baseball,

the best at boxing,

the best at basketball, football.

I mean, hey, you name it.

Black people, best at sports.

You kidding?

How about hockey?

Yeah, water polo.

Fencing. Best at sports. Badminton.

Yachting. Best at sports, you kidding?

I forgot fox hunting.

Best at sports.

Come on.

"More than anything, the goalie

is the intellectual ruler of the game.

"Sharp, cunning, observant."

Number four,

anybody who coaches

a girls' soccer team is completely nuts.

Okay, folks. That does it

for the first game of the season.

Final score,

Tornadoes 9, Ladybugs nothing.

Coach Chester, over here, please.

No pictures, please.

I don't want to be seen here.

Chester.

My wife and I are very disappointed.

We expected a much better showing.

Well, now look at it this way,

Mr. Mullen,

so far this year,

they only lost one game, you know.

Normally, this wouldn't

be so important to me

but you know how involved

my wife and daughter are.

So now I am totally involved.

As you know, Chester,

I'm a very competitive man.

And I love being the best.

If you can take this bunch of beginners

and turn them into a winning team,

that, to me, shows leadership.

The kind of leadership I want

at the head of my sales department.

I don't believe it.

That was absolutely dreadful.

I hope you do better for us next time.

David, darling, let's go.

My wife and I are going away

for the weekend.

I want to see better results.

We'll be back on Monday, if not sooner.

He won't be back any sooner.

That's it.

I'll show up for practice today,

then I'm quitting.

Chester, you have to think

about what you're doing.

You can't quit now. You'll lose your job.

And if you lose your job, I'll lose my job.

Then you have no future,

and I'll have no car,

no dishwasher, no TV, no furniture.

You can't quit now!

I got to quit.

Coaching these kids is driving me nuts.

Last night I had a dream,

I was a soccer ball,

and Bess kept kicking me.

And I told her, "Don't touch me.

You can't use your hands."

Chester, calm down.

Julie, I can't win.

If I tell Bess I didn't get the promotion,

I'll let her down again. It could be over.

And I can't stand lying to her.

It used to be,

I couldn't wait to be with her.

Now I feel guilty when I face her.

I don't even want to look at her.

Bess, baby, am I glad to see you!

Hi, honey. Hi, Julie.

I came to show you wedding invitations.

Oh, good.

You can show us on the way down.

We're late for our team's practice,

you know.

Practice? Chester,

why are you dressed like that?

Didn't I tell you?

I'm coaching the company soccer team,

the Ladybugs.

It sort of goes with the promotion,

you know.

- Excuse me. Getting off.

- Getting off.

All right, but before you go,

I just want to show you this.

I love it.

It's that calligraphy kind, isn't it?

I don't know. I don't like those letters.

To me they look like crushed insects,

you know?

What do we need

wedding invitations for, anyway?

They should call people on the phone.

Want to go to a wedding? Yeah?

Then get married.

Chester, you're wrong.

When you get married,

what's more important

than a beautiful wedding invitation?

- Getting off.

- Getting off.

Getting off.

Chester, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm just under a lot of pressure,

that's all.

Yeah, me, too.

Chester, I'm worried about Matthew.

I got a call from his principal.

He hasn't turned in any homework

for two weeks.

All he cares about is sports.

Honey, I told you before,

Matthew needs discipline.

I've seen the way you punish him.

You send him to his room.

In his room he has a stereo, color TV,

Nintendo games.

Oh, he really suffers.

Wedding invitations.

Who's getting married?

- We are.

- Well, good for you.

I give you both a lot of credit.

Hold your heads up high.

You can't beat true love.

Have lots of babies.

We're all God's children.

Wonder what the kids would look like.

Come on. Get out of here, will you?

Come on, Bess, will you?

This is ridiculous.

Well, this is it, honey.

I got to get down to the field.

And don't worry about Matthew.

Things will get better.

Well, they can't get much worse.

Because of his poor grades,

they kicked him off JV football

and soccer.

They kicked him off the soccer team?

They're nuts.

- He's the best player they have.

- He's very depressed about it.

Chester, maybe it would help

if you spent some time with him

and talked to him about it.

I told you, don't worry about Matthew.

They'll take him back. They need him.

He's a natural.

He could teach me about soccer.

Well, something has to be done.

I just wish I knew what.

Bess, I'll tell you what.

I'll make time. I'll talk to him.

Honey, would you?

Bess, I promise you.

I'll definitely talk to him.

Chester, you're a dear.

A dear? More like a fox.

- There she is.

- Well, go ahead. Talk to her.

No. I can't, Paul.

I don't even know what to say.

Flatter her. Girls like that.

Tell her you love her eyes,

her lips, her hair,

the way she parts her hair.

In fact, tell her you love all her parts.

No, I can't say that. No, no, no.

So you can forget it, Paul,

'cause it's not going to happen.

- All right, all right.

- Hey, Matthew, go long.

Farther!

Nice catch.

Thanks.

Hello. Excuse me.

Hey, Matthew, jump in the car.

I gotta talk to you.

No, thanks.

Matthew, your mother wants me

to talk to you. Come on, get in the car.

- I said, thanks anyway.

- Matthew, this is ridiculous.

Come on, get in the car.

Look, I don't want to get in your car,

so stop following me.

Matthew!

- Hi, Mrs. Yollick.

- Are you all right, Matthew?

- Who is that man?

- Oh, yeah, I'm fine, Mrs. Yollick.

He's not a stranger.

He's just strange.

Okay, Chesterfield, what do you want?

Zigzag, zigzag.

No, zigzag like this, you know.

- Kick, turn, kick, turn, kick, turn.

- Like this?

Got it? Got it? No, wait, girls. No, wait.

Girl, girl!

No, don't do it like me. No, don't do it

like me! No, don't do it just like me!

Get the ball. Get the ball.

Oh, God.

Matthew, you have to do something

about your grades.

That's why your mother asked me

to come out here and talk to you.

I mean, the way you're going,

you'll never get into college.

I mean, I went through the same thing

when I was a kid.

I remember the words of my mother.

She looked at me, she said,

"College is important

and I have to scrub floors."

And she went out for six years,

she scrubbed floors.

And then she went to college.

I mean, Matthew,

you got to think of your future.

Okay, Chesterfield,

thanks for the lecture.

I get the message.

Before we go home,

I want to ask you something.

It's not Halloween.

What's with the outfit?

I'll explain this later.

But first, Matthew, look,

I want to ask you to do me a favor,

all right?

That figures.

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