Laerte-se Page #5

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"I will do it because people want it."

No. This is not the type of answer I have.

But it is an insidious verb. It is there.

So...

I know I want it. I know I don't need it,

and I know that I can.

I don't know if I should.

That's it.

Is 'should' the worst of these four?

It is the worst, the most disgusting.

It is the weirdest.

I'VE DIVIDED MY LIFE PROJECTS

INTO TWO LARGE GROUPS:

THE REAL ONES AND THE FAKE ONES.

I'VE DIVIDED THE REAL ONES

INTO TWO GROUPS:

THE WELL-PROPORTIONED

AND THE PHARAONICS

I'VE DIVIDED THE WELL-PROPORTIONED

INTO TWO GROUPS:
G1 AND G2.

AND I STARTED GETTING ON

WITH THE FAKE ONES.

Pose for the camera.

"Look, she brushes me.

With her brush."

I know that many trans people

have a very troubled relationship

with their bodies.

Denial.

I don't have this type of denial.

I don't think my life

until I was 60 years of age

was a waste of life,

nor a life of mistakes, a wrong life.

It wasn't. It was nice.

I am referring to this. The body.

Wrap skirts are nice

because they are one size fits all.

Whoever wants to fight and represent

also needs to be everywhere.

I don't know. I can't be in everything.

I run out of energy.

My issues are around that:

I feel old, I feel overwhelmed,

within a part of the movement.

Or inside the movement.

What is the movement?

Is there a movement?

YOU ARE OLD.

YOU ARE ANNOYING.

YOU ARE UGLY.

-YOU ARE POOR.

-IT WAS MY TURN.

That's a problem.

Wearing make-up in the heat.

-See you later.

-See you.

Tomorrow around ten, right?

Is that a good time?

Ten o'clock is great.

Human life should be good

regardless of gender.

This whole gender oppression thing

is lived in different ways

by a transgender person,

who is questioning precisely

these formulas, these cages.

Angeli, could you please ask a question?

I would like to know...

We worked together, we still do.

-We still do.

-Yes, we still do, with Los Trs Amigos.

Glauco and I,

we had this masculine position and all.

Did you feel intimidated by it in any way,

at the time?

No, not at all. Not at all.

Your masculinity

was one of the best things.

Ah, I love you, Laerte.

Do you think we are evolving

in this collective understanding?

It's hard to know,

because the LGBT mix

responds to a historical need

to defend and group around identities.

But these identities

can also work as dividers.

These words, all these terms,

due to all the social movements

they represent,

they ended up designating things

that I think need to be changed now.

These aggressions are committed

by people who don't have a clear,

open and democratic discourse.

Because their discourse

is completely unfeasible.

They say "queers need to die,

dykes need to be raped,

transvestites need to be f***ed."

That cannot be said anymore.

We already live in a society where

at least that is not allowed to be said.

Transvestites and transgender are people

worthy of being considered human.

They are not there to play around,

they are not showing off,

they are using their condition,

the feminine identity

that corresponds to their intimate desire.

The construct is done according

to what is between people's legs.

The doctor opens your legs and checks:

"What do we have here?"

-Man.

-There you go.

-Woman.

-Yes.

-It's over.

-Intersex.

No, that makes him crazy.

What do I put on paper?

There are only two.

Man? Woman? Scalpel!

Inside the trans movement

there are people who are clearly fascists.

How do you see this fascism?

Or how does it show?

For example, the idea

that there is

a transvestite and transgender identity

which is undeniable

and verifiable by certain signals

and which has the power

to exclude those who do not fit.

It is trans corporatism.

Proper corporatism,

because it is also in the body.

It is corporal corporatism.

YOU WENT IN THE WRONG TOILET!

IT'S NOT MALE AND FEMALE.

IT'S MANKIND AND FREAKS.

The toilet issue, for example...

In my view,

all toilets should be gender-free.

They should be well-equipped,

safe, comfortable and gender-free.

When I visit ladies toilets,

I try to leave it cleaner than I found it.

Why?

I keep thinking

people will go in after me and say:

"Did you see the transvestite?

Look how she left things."

So, when people tell me,

"You did a very brave thing",

I don't agree with this.

I keep thinking

that I did something that took me

60 years to do.

I did it at a time

when the cost was very low.

What could I lose? Work? Very unlikely.

I already had enough capital

in professional respect.

I could have lost something.

"Oh, let's not hire that transvestite."

It could have happened. But it didn't.

So where, exactly, is my courage?

My kids were out of the house and

are absolutely open and civilized people,

my parents are open and civilized,

and so I saw myself as someone

who was doing something

which was necessary,

because when I understood

that this thing was possible,

I also understood

that it was necessary to me.

It wasn't enough going to parties

over the weekend for cross-dressing.

It was becoming something

actually necessary.

So, everything was fine,

which is not most people's experience.

For most trans people,

this transition is very complicated.

People risk their jobs,

and risk their family relationships.

I'm old, but happy.

I wore a little dress

that was absolutely slutty.

A micro dress.

Gold sequins.

Buying that was something

out of my deepest obsessions.

I walked by the store and saw it

on one of those horrible mannequins.

I looked and thought:

"I want this so bad."

And I kept going.

I didn't even think of stopping.

When I reached the metro door, I thought:

"I really want that dress.

I need to go back."

And I went back and asked:

"Do you have this dress in my size?"

And the guy said,

"These dresses are all one size,

there aren't different sizes,

they are made in China."

One kiss, one kiss

One kiss for the transvestites

One kiss, one kiss

One kiss for the transvestites

One kiss, one kiss

One kiss for the transvestites

One kiss, one kiss

One kiss for the transvestites

Then I said, "Give me it" and went away.

And that's the thing.

I really enjoyed wearing that.

But I was undeniably old.

It is strange.

AND NOW? WHAT DO I DO?

WRAP THE POO AND PUT A BOW ON IT.

AND NOW, WHAT DO I SAY?

THAT ASSES DON'T HAVE BELLYBUTTONS.

NOW, HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?

MAKE A NOTE OF IT TO WRITE A PLAY.

What do you do for work?

Have you got a ritual?

More or less.

I keep...

I keep playing with the ideas.

As if I was playing with cards

or something similar.

It depends on what I'm doing.

When I'm doing comic strips, for example,

it is a universe

where anything can happen,

where any story is possible,

I worry about checking

which way I am leaning towards

and then I play with...

When I have no idea

of what is making me lean,

I play with things to see what responds.

I draw a few things, I read others,

tweak a few things,

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