Land Of The Lost Page #5

Wow look at all this

kick ass sh*t to steal.

This is like the world's greatest mall.

Yeah, Will, it's just like a mall.

The only thing it's

missing is a food court.

Compsognathus! Look how they move!

Where all these little

chupacabres going to?

I'll tell you where they're going to.

Our raft, tachyon meter can't be far.

Our raft? That's my raft.

Get away from there!

Stop pecking at my raft!

There's your food court.

Ice cream...

Hey! What're you doing?

What? I'm gonna poney up and

get Chaka a cone, it's his first.

No there's a reason those

Dinosaurs hang out there, they know.

They know what?

It's feeding time.

Tyrannosaurus female!

We're in luck.

These large predators are extremely territorial,

virtually nothing will distract them from each other.

Oh crap balls.

Whaddya know?

This is one of those situations where

dumping piss on your head's a bad idea.

Run!

Wait Chaka!

Lead your master to safety!

Chaka no!

Why?!

You're a little a**hole Chaka!

Spread out! It'll confuse them!

Try running in serpentine patterns!

He's incapable of

rapid forward direction!

Serpentine everyone!

Serpentine!

Serpentine!

Serpentine!!

No! Serpentine!

Serpentine!!

Son of a kid!

Hey Marshall, you ever

get tired of being wrong?

I do, I really do! I'm so tired!

Get on your horse Rick Marshall!

Fascinating but terrifying!

No!

Marshall!

Still here!

I hope you're taping this!

I got it!

I don't want to die in a hummer!

A massacre...

Gross!

Set the catapult!

What?!

Set the catapult!

What?!

Set the f***in' catapult!

This thing?!

Catapult! Now!

No no, take her that way! Go that way!

Just do it!

Come on!

How the hell do you set a catapult!

I don't know, just turn it!

One!

Two!

Three!

Crank that thing!

Oh no!

Crank that mother!

I'm coming in hot!

Keep going!

Put your back into it!

The package has arrived.

What's the package?

It's a canister of refridgerant.

Now!

I did not expect that.

Gay showtunes!

Cassie...Beebe.

Tachyon meter!

Oh that blows.

That...

BLOWS...

Marshall?

What're you doing?

I'm giving up.

It feels good.

But what about finding our way home?

Validation for your life's work, you just

going give that all up just to lie here.

No no of course not.

Lying here is just

phase one of the plan.

It's phase two that

gets me really excited.

It involves adjusting the angle of my recline,

and putting this hand halfway down my pants.

Deceptively simple yet elegant.

Yeah, I tried.

I failed.

And you know what, once

again it's my own vault.

You mean fault.

No, I actually mean vault.

It's from a poster with

a pole vaulter on it.

That's really freaking stupid man.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

Any scientist in his

right mind wouldn't give-

Initiating phase two.

Do you know how I first heard about you?

As a joke.

First year at Cambridge we used to email your

little appearance with Matt Lauer around for a laugh.

I mean as you tube hall of fame moments

goes, it was Matt Lauer versus Marshall,

and then that monkey

pissin' in his own face.

In that order.

But I wasn't laughing.

Because I fascinated. I saw a man who was willing to

swim dangerous waters for the sake of his need to know.

I took that to heart Dr. Marshall, I've committed myself

to your theories and I got tossed out of Cambridge for it.

For my theories, you

threw your future away?

Yeah that's what everyone told me.

But I didn't believe it, not 'til now.

Have you seen this monkey video?

Yeah, I've seen it about a dozen times.

God bless the internet.

Come on Chaka.

Let's work on our mission statement.

How's it going?

What's wrong little guy, you okay?

Lady troubles?

Tell me about it.

This obviously stays

between me and you but...

I'm coming up on a 6 year dry spell.

He says that he misses his

tribe, it's a beautiful existence

They're carefree and nomadic,

and live where the food lives.

Just like me.

I moved "tres" times just to

be closer to a Ruby Tuesdays.

Continue.

Their women wait on the men,

serve in all their needs.

I'm liking this, continue.

They're ugly, but they make up

for it in nice personalities.

He says as prince of his tribe he personally

is served by a heron of 7,000 women.

Wow, not bad little dude.

And they bring him all

accruements of food, and-

Yeah, you get the idea

I'm not translating that.

Any room around that

fire for a jerk like me?

Thought you gave up?

I did.

I gave up on giving up.

Sat out there for a long time.

Just me, my shame and

this little 4 string.

I've had a change of heart.

Tried too long and hard to think

something to say to you guys.

Well, I realized there

wasn't anything to say.

But maybe...

Just maybe...

There's something I could sing.

No really it's alright-

Marshall...Will and Holly...

On a routine expedition.

Met the greatest earthquake ever known.

That's all I got.

That's fine.

Apology accepted.

Thanks, you guys are being so generous.

Really appreciate it, I

think the healing has begun.

Met the greatest

earthquake ever known...

High on the rapids.

It struck their tiny raft.

That's good.

And plunged them down-

I'm so tired.

A thousand feet below.

I'm feeling weak.

Really bushwacked.

Anyway here's how I end it, a

little arpeggio nothing fancy.

Guys, I'm sleepy.

The Land...

Land...of the Lost-

I'm so tired!

What happened?

You had a bug on you.

But it's gone now.

Oh okay.

Alright everyone!

Rise and shine.

Listen up, it's a new day.

Yes we've had a set back.

Yes it is tempting to

stay on this world and die.

But thats not how a new Marshall rolls.

You hear me?

Not by a damn sight.

This isn't hands down

the pants Marshall.

Alright?

This is a Gordon on 2 pints of Ben & Jerry's and

a whole spiral cut ham while watching not one,

but two Mama's Family reunion Marshall.

Uh-Uh!

He's gone.

Here's the deal.

Enik's counting on us.

The whole world is counting on us.

If we have any hope of returning home we need to

take back that tachyon meter, and take it back hard.

That means climbing.

Hours of arduous

climbing up sheer cliffs.

Not tomorrow.

Not in a few hours.

But right now!

Understood?

Yeah.

Understood Will?

Hmm?

Let's move out you panzies.

Hey! This is not a race.

Okay?

What the hell?

Teradachtyl eggs incubating

all over her lair.

There's your shitty boombox.

Across a sea of thin volcanic glass.

Okay Will, what you're gonna want to

do is evenly distribute your weight,

at the same time keep

an eye out for the eggs.

Hey, Will?

I know you're faking.

Okay, Chaka!

Chaka!

Come on.

Fine.

Maybe I'll need to listen to the words of a group

of young kids words trying to make it on stage.

God I hope I get it.

I hope I get it.

Marshall?

Be careful.

I'm up!

I'm up I got this.

Oh Marshall, you got it.

Do me a favor?

Just keep an eye on the mother okay?

You mustn't change the surface

temperature of the eggs,

any drop of sweat could

activate hatching process.

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