Landline Page #8

in a year from now

we're going to be

at different schools.

And, like, I don't even know

where I'll be, you know.

And it's, like, at some point

either I'm going to hurt you

or you're going to hurt me,

and...like we're friends.

So I just want to stay friends.

- Got it.

- What time is it?

- It's probably 3:00.

- Yeah, I should go.

My dad's probably downstairs.

- F*** his car up.

[laughs]

- So, you put your blinker on.

Check your rearview mirror,

your side mirror.

- I know.

[engine turns over]

Where am I going?

- Poppy's house.

- You moved in with Poppy?

That's depressing.

- Thank you.

It's not that bad.

He spends most of his time

in Atlantic City

with a flavor of the month,

and I feed his cat

while he's away.

- Yeah, I don't really

want to go to Queens.

So, can you just,

like, sign the papers

and say we completed

the hours?

[shuts off engine]

- You have every right

to be upset.

- Cool.

- You'll never know

how sorry I really am.

But I'm not leaving

this family.

- You keep saying that.

How does that actually work?

- I have no f***ing idea.

[laughs]

- [snickers]

- [sighs]

- Have you ever thought

about the possibility

that Carla's just filling

a void you created for yourself?

- A void?

- Yeah.

- What is that?

Like Oprah?

- No, God, why does everyone

think I get my sh*t from Oprah?

- Because your sh*t

is far too wise

for the amount of time you've

actually been on this planet.

[both laugh]

All right.

[engine turns over]

- So, Poppy has a cat?

- Yeah, I've never

actually seen it,

but I smell it.

- [laughs]

- Easy. Okay, you got it.

Okay.

Easy, easy, easy.

[brakes squeal]

Watch out for this girl

in the short skirt.

- I'm going to take a bath.

- [sighs]

I want to glue him

to the wall

and take a flame thrower

and shoot fire

into his hair.

And then just take some ink

and shoot it into

his f***ing blue eyeballs.

- Okay.

- Also kill him.

- Stop.

I can't keep having

this conversation with you.

- If you didn't want

to have the conversation,

you probably shouldn't

have told me about it

because the image

of you two f***ing

is in my head.

Do you know

what that's like?

- No, I don't.

I didn't want to lie

to you anymore.

- Cheating's lying.

You told me

so you could feel better.

- Just because

I did one shitty thing

doesn't mean

I do all shitty things.

I did a stupid, gross thing,

and I'm endlessly,

endlessly sorry.

I'll always be sorry,

but I also can't undo it,

and I don't know

what to do.

I love you. I love you.

And I hate myself.

And I just...

I just, I...

[crying]

I don't know what else to do.

[door closes]

[magazine slaps]

[splashing]

[knocking]

- [sighs]

I mean...

do you think I wasn't

scared and bored too?

- You asked me

to marry you.

- Yeah.

[laughs]

Because I wanted

to marry you.

But, yeah, it's terrifying

thinking I'm going to spend

the rest of my life

comparing everybody else to you.

- I know.

- I--I mean, what happens

in six months?

- I don't think

either one of us

can say that

it's going to be perfect.

But I can--I can say that

I love you.

And I just want

to live a life

where we're always

choosing each other.

And I choose you.

If you'll let me.

- [sniffles]

- [sniffles]

Will you take a bath

with me?

- Will we have sex in it?

- [laughs]

You know that doesn't work.

- We're going to f***

in this tub.

- You're gonna get

your elbows bonked.

Oh, no!

[laughs]

[splashing]

- Of course you can, honey.

- Happy birthday!

- Happy birthday!

- [laughs]

I'm sorry.

- Hi, Mom. You look pretty.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- Happy birthday.

- Hi. Nice to see you.

- Is that mine?

- Guess what it is.

It's a trench!

- Oh!

- She got one for herself too.

- I did,

but it's not matching.

So, we won't be dorks.

- Maybe I should get one too.

- No, no, don't.

- Yes.

- What are you wearing?

- This is what you call

a fashion statement.

You love these suspenders!

- I love it.

She looks like

an adorable Doug Henning.

- I'm not saying

they're not cute.

I'm just saying people

are going to assume

that you have

to pull your pants up

because you're wearing

a diaper.

- I think they're adorable.

- I think it's so--

- A cute diaper.

- I'm taking this away

from you.

- No, you ain't.

- No, come on.

- I'll have it.

- Slow down.

- You've cat to be kitten me

right meow.

- Yeah!

[laughs]

[laughter]

- Whoa!

- You didn't really

just say that?

- I've been waiting six months--

- That's my guy.

You cat to be kitten me

right meow, my Ben.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Happy birthday, Ali.

- Thanks.

[kissing]

- Hi.

- What? No gift?

- It's parked outside.

- Really?

- You look great.

- You look tired.

- Is there something outside?

- Honey, it's a brand-new

horse and buggy.

- Be careful, it bucks.

- I don't even get

two presents out of this sh*t?

- You are such a tiny a**hole.

- [laughs]

- Happy birthday.

- Hey, Ben.

- Hey. How are you?

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you too.

- Long time.

- Yeah.

- Thanks for inviting me.

Well, ah, Max!

My man!

- Yay!

- Yay, he's here.

[applause]

- He's a family member.

- Looking sharp.

- He's my long lost son.

- Oh, whoa.

- You have the shrimp, right?

- Can you--Max?

Can you put the shrimp

on one side of the grill,

not near the meat because

I'm developing a little allergy.

- She's "allergic" to shrimp.

- I am. It gets me flushed.

- Is that the stuff

that's really hot?

- Yeah.

- I think that got me last time.

- So what are you drinking, Ali?

- That's a birthday drink.

[soft music]

- It's--yeah.

- And you guys

just let that happen?

- Are you kidding?

- Ladies--

- You remember when she

went to jail, right?

- She's--

[laughter]

- What do you mean "she"?

What about you?

- I was--

- You were an accomplice.

- I was a dingleberry

on the situation.

- You're the oldest.

- I didn't know what was--

- She can't even handle

her soda.

- Mom says I'm a heavyweight.

[laughter]

[chatter]

- Give her all the shrimp.

[laughter]

[cheerful music]

- I would have given you

all of my heart

But there's someone

who's torn it apart

And he's taken

almost all that I've got

And if you want

I'll try to love again

Baby, you can't love again

Without the love

The first cut

is the deepest

The first cut

is the deepest

But when it comes

to being lucky

People

When it comes to love

and need, people

But when it comes

to being lucky, people

That's how I know

The first cut

is the deepest

The first cut

is the deepest

Just to watch you

by my side

Just to help me dry

the tears that I'll cry

And I'm sure I will

give you a try

And if you want

I'll try to love again

Baby, you can't love again

without love

The first cut

is the deepest

The first cut

is the deepest

But when it comes

to being lucky, people

When it comes to love

and need, people

When it comes

to being lucky, people

That's how I know

The first cut

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes