Lano & Woodley: The Island Page #3

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
 
IMDB:
8.8
Year:
2005
60 min
194 Views


Watch your proximity.

I'll see you on the Island.

You want to go to the Island.

Breathe!

You've been chosen.

The Island awaits you.

Check into the nurses' station

up the corridor, take your first left.

Dr. Lemon, call 915.

Dr. Lemon, call 915.

She's so beautiful.

I've never seen a baby.

Can I hold her?

Notjust yet.

Are we going to the Island?

Oh, my God.

Congratulations, it's a beautiful girl.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Thank you.

It's my baby. Oh, my gosh.

Whenever you're ready,

we have copies of your

policy termination for your records.

Look at her. She's beautiful.

Starkweather? That big, cute football

player on the Reebok commercials?

I love him! Is he in there?

I thought that was him, girl!

I just love him!

That's great.

Listen, you're a real hoot.

Any chance I can make this pickup?

Well, he's still in surgery. Sorry.

Lady, I've got a bird on the pad

and a storm's coming in.

We don't fly in bad weather.

They look real busy.

So I'd have a seat.

Grim Reaper coming in here

with an attitude.

Heart rate 102.

BP 126 over 82.

- Laser cutter ready?

- It's ready.

- Make sure suction's functioning.

- Ventilating easily.

- Very good.

- Grid in place.

Prepare that bone saw.

I think we're about ready to open.

Let's clean that drip.

Doctor, heart rate's rising.

Heart rate's still rising, doctor.

- What's his blood pressure?

- BP 138 over 92.

Heart rate's still rising.

- Boost the anesthetic level!

- He's fighting the ventilator.

I don't wanna euthanize this guy

to get his liver!

Guards!

Oh, my God!

Stop that man! Get him!

Stop!

All right, relax, relax, big guy.

Relax.

Easy, easy, easy!

Don't damage him!

- Relax!

- No!

I don't want to die, no! No!

I want to go to the Island!

You promised!

I wanna live!

I don't wanna die!

No!

Hey.

You OK, buddy? It's not the first time

this has happened, you know.

Ether-Con. Product is secure.

Check this part out.

Wait, OK, watch.

Wait, wait.

Boom! Did you see that? Man.

That is so cruel, man.

Oh, man. Down for the count.

Gentlemen, I understand

there's been an incident.

Sir, Starkweather ran

from the operating theater.

- And do you find that funny?

- No, sir.

- Do you?

- Definitely not, sir.

Play it back, please.

Stop.

- Who is that?

- That's just an RN.

He was scared, I helped him up.

Play it back at half-speed.

Freeze.

Magnify his wrist.

We have a product on the loose.

- Get me a facial match.

- We're on it.

- Let's go.

- OK, down to Level 2.

You can't come in here!

- Wait.

- Oh, my God.

- How sweet.

- You gotta come with me.

What?

Move! Move!

We got a match!

Lincoln Six Echo.

I want a full contamination lockdown.

Find Six Echo.

- Masks down.

- What the hell?!

- I need to see all your faces.

- I don't care what he says, nurse,

that's live human tissue.

Seal that liver now.

Check the back corners!

How did that agnate get upstairs

into the Medical Sector?

Find out.

- Men aren't supposed to be...

- You gotta trust me.

- What?

- I saw them.

- Who?

- Lima and Starkweather. They're dead.

- What?

- They killed her and cut him open...

Stop it!

I want to go back to my room.

- They're gonna kill you.

- I'm going to the Island.

Jordan, there is no Island!

Come on!

I got Six Echo in Female Tower,

floor 32.

- He's got a female product in tow.

- Track that.

Get out of the way!

Move! Move!

Out of the way!

Get out. Now.

Just trust me.

This is a community bulletin.

Attention, residents,

a contamination alert

has been issued for Lincoln Six Echo.

Anyone coming in contact with him

will be quarantined.

Move! Move!

Freeze! Stop right there!

Go! Go! Go!

Get out of the way!

I've got two agnates on the move

on the second floor.

There they are!

I've got them in Sector Six basement!

Get them!

- No!

- Stop!

- Lincoln!

- Get up!

No!

Stop it!

No!

You've been chosen.

You have a very special purpose.

You're part of a new beginning.

You're special.

You have a very special purpose.

You want to go to the Island.

Your purpose in life

is to populate the Island.

You're part of a new beginning.

You're special. Very special.

You've been chosen.

You've been chosen.

Chosen to survive, to carry on.

You want to go to the Island.

- Go, go!

- You have a very special purpose.

Very special.

- He's gotta be in here.

- I'm looking!

Check over here!

Watch your left!

Run!

Go! Run!

He's over here!

There they are! Go!

- Lincoln!

- Come on! Get him!

- Let s go. Move!

- Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Damn! Go, go! Go!

Come on, let's go!

You still think there's an Island?

Come on!

Come on. Come on!

There's a door over here!

Lincoln Six Echo remains in quarantine

after contamination exposure.

Jordan Two Delta was safely transported

to her new home on the Island.

Jones Three Echo, I need you

to concentrate in this lab.

Sir, I want to focus more than anything.

I love my job. It's interesting.

But Lincoln Six Echo

has been contaminated,

and it really worries me,

because he's a good friend of mine.

He's one of my best friends.

My only best friend.

He'll be fine, Three Echo.

Sir, I have one question.

Where do all the tubes go?

The human organism.

Unique in all the universe

in its complexity.

The product of three billion years

of evolution.

Perfect in every way, except one.

Like all machines, it wears out.

For centuries, the idea

of replenishing the human body

has been

at the forefront of science.

We need to turn this bad day

into a good day.

- How?

- A terrific day. By selling.

By selling. Sell, sell, sell.

You start, I finish.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to

the next generation of science,

the agnate.

An organic frame engineered

directly into adulthood

to match the client's age.

- You're looking at stage one

- This way, sir.

In its development.

Within 12 months

it will be harvest-ready,

providing a carrier for your baby,

a second pair of lungs, fresh skin.

All genetically indistinguishable

from your own.

And, in compliance with

the eugenics laws of 2015,

all our agnates are maintained

in a persistent vegetative state.

They never achieve consciousness.

They never think or suffer

or feel pain, joy, love, hate.

It's a product, ladies and gentlemen,

in every way that matters,

not human.

This is our public relations director,

Mr. Whitman.

He'll be happy

to answer any questions.

Once again, thank you.

Mr. Whitman.

I want to talk about the smartest

investment you'll ever make.

And I want to tell you how you're

gonna live 60 to 70 years longer.

Dr. Merrick, Albert Laurent,

Blackhawk Security.

You come highly recommended

by the Defense Department, Mr. Laurent.

Though I'm unaware

of your personal qualifications.

My men are ex-Delta Force. SEALs.

I was formerly with the GIGN,

French Special Forces.

I understand you had a corporate theft.

Yes, that's what I told

the Defense Department.

The reality is a little more complex.

That's why I require your services.

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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