Lano & Woodley: The Island Page #4

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
 
IMDB:
8.8
Year:
2005
60 min
174 Views


We've had a... security breach.

You have the Defense Department

at your disposal. Why call me?

Because their

investment here is sizeable.

One hundred and twenty

billion dollars, to be exact.

And I can't afford

for them to reconsider.

What you tell them

is your business, doctor.

I am in the business

of keeping my clients' confidence.

Good.

Two of our products have escaped.

Impressive,

considering they're vegetative.

Well, after several years

of trial and error,

we discovered that

without consciousness,

without human experience,

emotion, without life,

the organs failed.

How long have they been missing?

Four hours and 36 minutes.

- They're on foot?

- Yes.

Wade, 1.2 miles an hour,

five mile perimeter,

- standby for suspect description.

- We're on it.

Follow me.

- Come on, we gotta keep going.

- I have to stop. I can't run anymore.

- You gotta try.

- Where?

- Anywhere but here.

- But there's nothing.

Everything's dead, Lincoln.

What if we are contaminated?

Then we'd be dead.

There's no contamination.

It was a lie.

- What is it?

- I don't know.

But it's alive.

Come on. It's mean, whatever it is.

Let's rest in here.

Jordan Two Delta's sponsor,

Sarah Jordan, is in a coma

after a car accident.

She's in need of multiple transplants.

How long does she have?

Forty-eight hours.

Three days maximum.

Tell me about Six Echo.

He was really the first one

to question his environment,

his whole existence here.

Over the last few months,

he began demonstrating unstable behavior

and I can't account for it.

I'm waiting on the result

of his synaptic scan.

What do they know

about the outside world?

Very little.

We control them with

the memory of a shared event.

A global contamination.

It keeps them fearful of going outside.

The Island is the one thing

that gives them hope,

gives them purpose.

Everything we expose them to,

their programs, their cartoons,

books, the games they play,

are designed to manage aggression

and reinforce simple social skills.

To avoid obvious complications,

they aren't imprinted

with an awareness of sex.

We find it simpler

to eliminate the drive altogether.

In a very real sense...

they're like children.

Educated to the level of a 15-year-old.

- What was that?

- I don't know.

But I want one.

Look!

Route 39. Route 39.

Come on.

I got it from a friend.

I think that's it.

What's up?

Yeah, do you know

a guy named McCord?

Yeah, we know that tool.

Who's asking?

- I am.

- And you would be who?

- Lincoln Six Echo.

- Jordan Two Delta.

Right.

Y'all some of those desert UFO freaks?

- U... What? No, I don't think so.

- No.

McCord?

Well, lucky day, Captain Kirk.

He's in the can.

- He's in a can?

- Taking a dump.

A dump? Taking it where?

Bubba, you're fixing

to get on my nerves.

- It's the first door on the right.

- Thank you.

I have to go.

He's taking a dump in a can.

- Something to drink? Jack?

- Yes, please.

Straight up?

Oh, that is bitchin'.

So this is Sector Five?

Hey! You son of a b*tch!

You knew!

- How the hell did you get out?

- Why do they lie to us? Tell me!

They're gonna be looking for you.

- Tell me what's going on!

- If anybody sees us together,

both of us are gonna be dead.

So, will you just

take your hands off me? Let me...

Let me pull my pants up

and I'll take you back to my place

so we can be alone. OK?

- Ed.

- Mac.

Give you... give you boys a minute?

What?

This isn't what it looks like.

Sure. Sure.

Get out of here, you stupid...

Will you stop?

You can'tjust bust in on a guy

like that. That's really rude.

She doesn't understand the licking.

You a knucklehead?

You brought another one?

- Excuse me.

- Hey. Hey, hey! Hey, hey!

Back off, Joe, OK?

Don't push me!

No, no, no, that's no good.

Put it on my tab.

We gotta go.

Friends from out of town.

Come on, sweetheart.

- Give me your number.

- Two Delta.

Hey, look. Get...

Don't test me.

Don't.

Well, this is nice.

Mac doesn't talk much

about his work at the Institute.

Do y'all work with him?

Saving lives and all

must be real rewarding.

Those are fancy tracksuits.

Y'all exercise out in this heat,

gonna get yourself nasty heatstroke.

Oh, Mac, look.

They got matching bracelets.

- We should do that, honey.

- Suzie...

Do you remember the talk

we had about all the talk?

Yeah.

Actually, would you run down to Red's

and pick us up a sixer of Bud?

- We've got to talk shop.

- OK, baby.

- Just making friends.

- I know. Good. Just...

Bye.

Why do they lie, Mac?

Why do they lie to us? Tell me.

To keep you

from knowing what you are.

- What we are?

- What are we?

Man, why do I gotta be the guy

tells the kids there's no Santa Claus?

OK, look. You're...

Well, you're not like me.

I mean, you're not... human.

I mean, you're human,

but you just, you're not real.

You're not,

like, a real person. Like me.

You're clones.

You're copies of people

out here in the world.

- What?

- Clones?

- What? Why?

- What are you talking about?

Some hag trophy wife

needs new skin for a facelift

or one of 'em gets sick

and need a new part,

they take it from you.

But I have a mother.

I remember her.

- Yeah, I know.

- I grew up on a farm.

I have a little dog and I had a bike.

And a bike. Right.

It was a pink Flexi-Flyer

with little tassels on the handlebars

and you rode it

to your grandmother's.

You ring the little bell and she

came out and served you cookies.

Yeah.

No. Memory imprints.

I seen them.

A buddy of mine is a programmer

at the Institute. He showed me.

There's only 12 stories.

They change around little details,

but they're all pretty much the same.

The life you think you had

before the "contamination,"

it never happened.

Come on, don't look at me like that.

At least you had a bike.

Wanna trade your rosy memory implants

for my shitty childhood, be my guest.

How long?

How long have we been alive?

You're Echo generation,

so you're three.

Delta means you're four.

Three?

The whole reason you exist is

'cause everyone wants to live forever.

It's the new American dream.

There's people out there that are

rich enough to pay anything for it.

Don't people care that they kill us?

That they take parts from us?

They don't know. They think you're

vegetables simmering in a jelly sack.

Why do you think Merrick has you stuck

in an old military bunker below ground?

He doesn't want anybody knowing

the truth, especially not sponsors.

- Sponsors?

- The people that had you made.

They, like, own you.

But why doesn't Merrick want

our owners to know that we're alive?

Just because people wanna eat the burger

doesn't mean they wanna meet the cow.

Besides, do you know

how many laws Merrick's breaking

to have you two hatched?

Your sponsors

can't have any part of that.

They're like high society,

rich and famous.

If they knew,

Merrick would be out of business.

We have to find our sponsors

and tell them the truth.

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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