Larry Crowne Page #4

Change? Yes. On/off.

Off. Change? Yes.

Save, and back, back, back, back, and exit.

Oh.

- How long was that broken?

- Ever since my husband installed it himself.

- Well, it's all fixed now.

- Thank you.

What are you gonna make us do

today in class, hmm?

You'll just have to find out.

Follow me.

Interesting.

Looking down at your notes,

your hands, is a downer.

Look up at your audience.

Find not one but three different focal

points and move your attention to each one.

Start on the one side,

looking into the eyes of whoever's there.

- Hello.

- Hi.

The center is where major points are made.

Make them there.

Once you've come to the other side, you know

you've included everyone in the conversation.

You don't wanna spend too much

time on any one focal point.

If you're looking and speaking

to only one of your audience,

that person may get the wrong

message.

Who wants to be first?

If the balance on axis A

is the same metric as axis B,

deficits appear because of overhead,

taxes and reinvestment.

Translation?

Miss Francesco.

Something very complicated.

Mr Crowne.

The break-even paradox

of the static-flow assumption?

That is the correct answer, from page 56.

Someone's been reading the course pack.

While economic law abhors an assumption,

the break-even paradox creates

a whole new metric,

an illusory flow that appears proactive

but is, in fact, static.

Holy smoke! You've got inventory.

Yes, I do.

Bad feng shui, though.

This is all unproductive capital sitting

here, unless you're selling it on eBay.

Never buy clothes you don't try on.

You have to feel the

fabric and test the drape.

- I don't.

- Take off your pants.

What?

Take off your pants.

Really?

Get behind that rack and

take off your pants!

You know, I can't really afford

all these new threads.

'Tis gratis, Lance.

Lance, my boyfriend's here.

Put your pants back on.

Yeah, Lance.

Put your pants back on.

Oh...

These are a little tight.

Hold on.

Two more, please.

I knew there was a reason

I skipped college.

If I hadn't taken Matsutani's class,

I'd never know how bad things really are.

My gross assets, my true debit flow,

my value index.

Well, if you need a job that'll hold

you over there, Kemo Sabe, just ask.

You can still work a line, can't you?

Yeah, I think so.

All right, just work it out with Raul.

He's tough, but fair.

I'm the boss of this kitchen. You know why?

- Because I'm tough, but I'm fair.

- Tough but fair.

You say you wanna work for me? Okay.

If you can use me.

Can I use you?

Hey, Nick, how many jobs you got?

Three, and I coach Little League.

En Amrica, tres, en Mxico, tres,

en Panam, uno.

How long has it been

since you manned a kitchen, anyway?

It's been a few years.

Bang this bad boy out, then we'll see.

Order up!

- Here they are.

- Okay.

You're gonna be on-call.

You don't like it, walk.

I need to stay in school.

You can stay in a convent for all I care.

- Just be on time and don't steal the flatware.

- Deal.

- I'm a good boss, right?

- Great boss!

Tough, but fair.

Thank you.

This may be beyond comprehension,

but there are many people

who dismiss Deep Space Nine

in favour of the original

or The Next Generation.

Although I, too, am a fan

of both of Roddenberry's visions,

there is no version of Star

Trek I do not enjoy.

None.

As you can tell by my uniform,

had I the chance to

attend Starfleet Academy,

I would have studied the Life Sciences.

Who's cutting my class?

Where is Larry Crowne?

Maybe he got the flu.

Mr Mack, I apologise.

Please continue on with Star Wars.

In the deep space.

I can't even begin to tell you the

difference between Star Trek

and Lucas' Star Wars saga. It's...

Live long and prosper.

Energise.

Bankruptcy. An economy

cannot be free without bankruptcy.

Its penalties are obvious,

but what are its rewards?

I am so sorry I'm late.

Dr Matsutani, can I still sit in?

This is college, Mr Crowne.

There are only two things you can't do,

smoke in the building

and use your phone in my class.

Thank you.

The advantage of a bankruptcy works

both ways? How?

You're here? You have some nerve showing

your face after you've skipped my class.

Miss Tainot. A pleasure to see you.

Dr M. Oh, did he skip your class, also?

In fact, he was tardy.

- Miss Tainot, this will never happen again.

- It will never happen again.

And the next class, you will be first up

for Pop Topics.

Two minutes, Pop Topics, first up.

Interior design.

Workplace etiquette.

Good one.

I hope they're worth it!

- No, no, no, seriously, they're amazing!

- All right.

Come on.

I don't believe this.

Sharing sweets with a little dolly.

I bet that's why he went to college.

Find a gal who has a thing for papa bear.

And hideous pink doughnuts.

Oh!

Isn't that adorable?

Ooh! Who's this?

Wow, Larry! Nice job.

Hey, there, Project Runway! I choose you.

Hey, Johnny Cash. Where's your guitar?

Mr Crowne is first. Pick and speak.

Does this say "interior design"?

Let's say yes.

And go.

Interior design.

I know nothing

about interior design.

But I don't have to, because

I know this girl who does.

And the first time she came into my house

she starts rearranging everything I own.

She starts throwing out, you know, junk,

and rearranging my things

and moving my furniture to places

that it's never, ever been before.

And, before I know it,

I have a Spartan interior design

with traffic flow and feng shui,

in which everything has to be set just so,

otherwise the chi or the spirit of

the house doesn't move.

Then she moves from my living room

into my bedroom

and that place is a horror show.

My closet is a disaster.

I have too many of the

wrong kind of hangers

and I don't have enough scarves

to match my ensemble.

And my dresser drawers are pitiful.

And she's throwing out...

Oh, I can't wear matching pyjamas

only pyjama bottoms and a T-shirt.

Then she hops on my bed, and it's too hard!

Who lives here? The Flintstones?

Ow, Bamm-Bamm, you hurt my neck.

Then she threw out every one of my shirts.

Polo shirts are now forbidden.

Can anyone

remember anything from that?

Feng shui actually works.

I read about it in my Asian Studies class.

Something about the Flintstones.

Uh, Larry likes chicks

to rearrange his junk.

That's what we women do.

We take you men and we make you better.

We're moving off the topic.

Thank you, Mr Crowne.

Chester, you're up.

Finally, get rid of these.

I get Dell to do the remodel and can restock

everything I move in the wink of an eye.

Well, is...

Nice, thank you.

Is this your plus-minus delta number?

But that's what I'm asking you.

Square footage this cheap is a steal, right?

Low overhead, cheap labour.

You will be in proht. Yeah, there.

- I love you, Lance Corona!

- Well...

Hey, Dell.

I was just going back to work.

I'm working my ass off all night just to

get one little f ricking smile out of you.

- I'm smiling.

- Oh, yeah, like the Joker after three martinis.

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