Last Vegas Page #5

- So he's out for the season.

- Totally out.

That's why you gotta go

with the Packers, and the points.

- All the girls are making the same bet.

- Sam.

- It's a no-brainer.

- Sam!

Come on, come on.

Uh...

Nice to meet you.

Madonna, Cher.

- Yeah, I'm coming.

- Call me. Call me.

Sam, where have you been?

I've been, uh,

working the room.

You gotta stop him.

You gotta stop him.

- What? Stop what?

- Archie, he lost it.

Lost what?

Archie?

I'm so sorry, Archie.

I begged and I begged him,

he just wouldn't stop.

- I don't know what to say.

- Yeah, well, okay.

Another bet, sir?

How much was that last bet?

- Nine thousand.

- He lost 9,000?

- How much left?

- What are you doing?

Let me count.

You started with 15,000.

Now you have...

...102,000, sir.

Okay, I'm done.

- Hundred and two thousand?

- That's enough.

- Yeah, that's a good decision.

- Excuse me, sir,

are you a guest in the hotel?

Oh, we were... We really...

We've gotta...

Actually, we just...

Great game, great game,

great dealer.

Great table, great game.

How much?

- Hundred and two thousand.

- Hundred and two.

So, what happened?

We break a rule or something?

Are they gonna take

his money back or what?

I don't know.

My son. It's Ezra.

It's my son.

Hello, Ezra.

Wonderful to hear from you, son.

Ezra, calm down.

Calm down. I'm at the church retreat.

Uh, that? Um...

That was the Holy Spirit

getting into people.

- Hallelujah!

- Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

- Praise the Lord!

- Ezra, I'm going to have to go.

I think the Holy Spirit's

about to leave the room.

I'm gonna see

if I can't stop him, okay?

- I shall not want.

- I love you, son. Amen.

He maketh me to lie down...

Did he buy it?

I don't know, I was improvising,

same as you.

Well...

- He... He walketh me.

- Hello.

The Lord is my shepherd.

- Praise the... Oh.

- It's Billy. Billy!

I'm at the pool.

- He's at the pool.

- What's he doing?

- What's at the pool?

- Where is the pool?

Welcome to Las Vegas.

- Yes!

- Yeah.

- Relax, Gherson.

- Aw, yeah.

It's not like you invented it.

Oh, Jesus.

Ay.

We got a bikini contest coming up!

- Who wants to be a judge?

- I do!

Idea. Let's see what

we can do with this.

Are you ready to Party Rock?

I go by the name of Redfoo!

Yeah, we got cash,

we got prizes,

and we got the best judges

in the world!

Put your hands up, put your hands up,

put your hands up!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Yeah!

Well, check your pulse, fellas,

because coming to the stage

is our first girl.

She's from Seattle

and she likes to get wet, baby!

- Whoo!

- Jessica!

I love you, Jessica!

Yeah,

look at them assets, baby!

Yeah!

Judges, judges,

what you got for Jessica?

Ten, baby!

Ten!

Ten! Yeah, baby!

Unh! Looking good.

Next coming up is Christina,

and she's a redhead,

and let me tell you,

it's au naturel, baby.

Judges?

Ten, baby!

Irena, baby, yeah!

Bring out Patrice!

Ah! Come on and shout it!

Baby!

Mm-hm, yeah!

Unh! Looking good!

Yeah!

Eleven!

Let's get to know the judges.

Can we get to know the judges?

What's your name there, sir?

- Uh, Sam.

- All right.

Oh, and I'm available,

I have a condom.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby!

Who's that?

What is your name, party planner?

Uh, Paddy.

Paddy!

Well, Paddy, I got a special package

just for you, baby!

AW, yeah, baby!

- Yeah, baby!

- Ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, baby!

I don't know how Paddy

could have given her a seven.

She was too young.

She shouldn't have been there.

- I liked Mr. Redfoo.

- Who's that?

The guy who put his balls

in your face.

- Oh, yeah, liked him.

- Ha-ha-ha.

- He knows how to keep a party...

- Mr. Clayton?

Quite a run you had at blackjack.

Can we talk?

- Well, I...

- Apparently,

you aren't actually staying here,

is that correct?

Now, wait a minute here.

Are you suggesting my friend

is a card counter

because he took your casino

for a hundred grand?

No, he won fair and square,

and actually we'd just like

to have a chance

to win some of that money back

by giving you someplace

nice to stay.

Hey, Alan, you wanted

to talk to me?

- Heh. This is Lonnie.

- Hey.

He's gonna take care of you

this weekend.

Uh, with all due respect,

I believe I'm actually assigned to...

- Uh, he canceled.

- He canceled?

Yeah, give these

gentlemen Villa 4.

Are you sure he canceled?

I just confirmed with his travel a...

Good day, gentlemen.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

I hope there's room enough

for four guys

because there's no way

I'm sharing a bed with this cupcake.

The penthouse villa.

Dollar for dollar, one of the best suites

in all of Vegas.

Four bedrooms up top,

fully stocked bar,

gourmet kitchen,

and all the amenities

you see before you.

You know what I feel like?

I feel like a damn princess.

So intimate,

that's what I love.

I'm at your disposal for anything else

that you might need.

Is that your job?

You're just here for us?

You wouldn't believe who I was

supposed to be hosting.

Who?

Fiddy.

Fiddy? P-Fiddy?

- Fifty.

- Fifty people in here?

No, no, 50 Cent.

Curtis Jackson.

- Oh, from the Jackson 5, sure.

- Yeah, okay.

50 Cent's a pretty big deal

in modern times,

and one of the perks of hosting him is,

you know,

I get that second-and third-round

draft pick. You know what I mean?

We don't.

Like, the leftover...

So I'm assuming you guys are not

gonna wanna visit our nightclub.

Nightclub? Dancing?

Yes, Mr. Clayton,

I believe some people will be dancing

at the nightclub.

Oh, all right.

Okay. Ah.

Usually gets jumping

around 11:
00.

If you like, I can pick you up

or wake you up.

- Oh!

- Oh, oh, oh.

- What are we talking about?

- That's when we come alive.

Midnight at the disco,

we'll see you there.

We're always up and about

after midnight on the weekends.

- A little after, maybe.

- I'll leave you gentlemen to your fun.

- Thank you.

- Keys.

How do you get

these damn curtains open?

I know how these things work.

Let's get some light in here, Jesus.

We've got one of these

consoles in every single room.

Ready, one, two, three. Unh!

Let me, uh,

help you geniuses.

The hell?

- Okay.

- Oh, there's a window.

Oh, of course, of course.

A lot of times they just

put a light back there.

It's probably fake.

It's fake. I give up.

- Whoa, whoa.

- Did you do that?

Whoa.

Curtains, music, lighting.

And if you're really

feeling adventurous,

we now have color television.

Have a good day, sir.

- Oh, cute.

- Ha, ha.

Fellas, look at this.

Oh, no.

An old friend.

Is that what I think it is?

You mean you kept that

all this time?

Goddamn right I have.

The Flatbush Four is back,

and we're not on any

Brooklyn street corner,

- man, we're on top of Vegas.

- Ha-ha-ha.

Celebrating my wedding.

Heh.

- Let's get it on! Ha-ha-ha!

- Let's go on.

- I'll get some ice.

- Okay, all right, damn.

Yeah, just like you,

Gherson.

Let's forget about everything

we've done to hurt people.

Let's just move on

and celebrate me, that's all.

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