Laugh Killer Laugh Page #4

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Cause home is where the family is.

Here, look, let me show this.

This is my family, alright?

This is my wife, my kids when

they were younger, my grandkids.

And this... this is the most

cherished picture I have of my father,

God rest his soul.

You know, I loved him more

than any son ever loved a father.

What about you, Frankie?

Do you have any pictures

of loved ones you'd like to show us?

No? Why not?

You're always in such a hurry,

I would think that you had hundreds,

hundreds of pictures to show us.

Now the next time that I ask you

to sit down and eat with us...

make sure you have the time.

Alright, now get the hell out of here.

- Thanks, Tony.

- What did you say?

What did you just mumble?

I said thanks, Tony.

So, anyway, about this weekend...

There's nothing more frustrating than

a man who just can't express himself.

You know, tell you how he feels.

That makes him no different than a...

lamp. Or a clay pigeon.

Yeah, clay pigeon,

waiting to get blown up into pieces.

Maybe that's why. Maybe that's

the root behind Frank Stone's...

rage.

He just lives, second to second.

Minute to minute. Murder to murder.

Like an alcoholic.

Just one day at a time.

That's my boy.

Bright eyes and colors

Are blind again

Haven't seen my love in

God knows when

He went away

Now I'm all by myself

All of this heart aching

Is affecting my head

Oh, no

I've been so alone

Waiting for you to get back home

No more good mornings

Or I love you

Never thought my nightmares

Would be so true...

All this seems to fight for me

But all I ever wanted

Was for us to be alone

I've been so alone, yeah, waiting for you

I waited for you to come back home

Yeah, I'm so alone

I waited for you

But now you're gone

Wasn't she great? Chelsea, let's give

it up for Chelsea. Great girl, nice act.

And now, next, he's your favorite

ventriloquist, Mr. John Peasy.

Hey, folks, my name is John Peasy,

this is my friend Smokey.

Holy sh*t, they're all white! Okay,

we have a great crowd of people here.

Yeah, they look good, this look good,

I like it. Yeah, we got a good crowd.

I'm the only black guy here.

It looks like my trial.

Looking good, looking good, looking good,

looking good! I like this crowd, yeah, yeah.

If you like white people, yeah.

Hate them white men sh*t.

Oh, yeah, now...

Hold up, where you going, brother?

Sit the hell down,

where the hell you going?

I hate when a white guy gets up

in the middle of a show like that.

Sit the hell down, cracker ass. Sit the hell

down. I'm in the middle of my working here.

Don't sit there and get up in the middle.

I'm working here.

Don't pick on the guy.

He's a mean-looking guy.

- What do you mean?

- He looks like a killer.

Yeah, killer, I'll kick his ass.

Homo, sit the hell down.

- Don't pick on the guy.

- I don't give a sh*t! I see you staring.

Let's have a staring contest, go.

This is comedy. You don't just get up

and walk out in the middle of a show.

Alright, that's enough, that's enough.

Why don't you say something to the guy

that would make him feel good?

The way he looks,

attention K-Mart shopper.

He's a loser,

I can't stand his white cracker ass.

That's right, folks, you can laugh

all you want. I'll kick his ass right now.

Loser, loser, loser.

And you're white, cracker ass.

Hey! This was just a joke, man,

I was only kiddin' ya!

No, no!

This week, Olivia's mailbox

wasn't empty as usual.

This week, it contained

one of those lovely pink slips

that indicated she had a package

at the front desk.

The clerk was so excited for her.

Olivia, you have mail today!

Politely, she smiled and took the package.

It was a five dollar flat rate box.

Olivia was reminded of how much

her mother loved sending flat rate boxes.

Each week in college, Olivia would receive

one of these packages,

a veritable treavure...

treasure trove of candy, costume,

jewelry, school supplies,

anything a college girl could desire.

The package that she was handed today

was considerately different.

On the outside, it looked like a standard

five dollar flat rate box.

But the contents had a macabre difference.

This package contained her mother's ashes.

You really have tapped

into something very personal.

Now, class, what we can

take from Mario's story

is don't be afraid to be deeply personal.

Oscar, please come on time!

Okay, Jackie, you had something

you wanted to read?

Yeah.

Alright.

Rosemary thought she was different.

She was always told that.

By her father, by her mother,

by her classmates.

She grew up thinking bad about herself.

That's why she tried to slit

her wrists many times.

But she always managed to find

a way to get through it.

She thought she had met someone

who could relate to her.

Another tortured soul.

But this person was more

than a tortured soul.

He also felt the need

to be hateful and cruel.

He didn't want to change himself

or discover who he really was.

He didn't want to move on

from a dark past.

He wanted to relive it every day.

He was pure nasty.

I hate him, I hate him.

I... Jackie, I must say you've really

tapped into something very personal

to get this latest work.

Anybody have any questions?

Ackley?

I have to say, I thought...

Oscar!

Oscar, please wait outside.

Alright.

Okay.

That was weird.

Alright, go to Jimmy's on 10th street.

You know the way.

What the hell is that banana head

doing over there? Pull over, pull over.

Stop.

What the hell is Frank Stone

doing in this neighborhood?

Wait up a second, I want to talk to you.

Look, I'm sorry that I spoke

to you that way.

Alright, I made a mistake.

I thought you were making fun of me.

What do you want, Oscar?

There's something I gotta tell you.

Alright, my name isn't Oscar.

It's Frank Stone.

Your character?

And I work for Anthony Forte.

Tough Tony is real?

It's all for real, alright?

That's what I am, I'm a hood.

- Why are you telling me this?

- I don't know.

I just feel like my head's

gonna explode if I don't tell you.

Just please, just leave me alone.

Please, I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- Please just stay away from me.

What the hell was that all about?

Wait here, I want to go see

what's going on.

Did I almost get a smile out of you?

Almost.

Frank, how come you never smile?

Can I ask you something? You never

once told me anything about yourself.

Well, you know everything about me,

but I don't know anything about you.

I'm just not that open about myself.

- My private self, that is.

- Yeah?

Is that why you joke around so much?

To hide that private self?

No, that's not why.

You know, if you don't want

to talk about it, it's okay.

Well, I...

I married this really rich guy

that I didn't even love.

But I figured I'd have everything.

But...

it wasn't really enough.

But then we had a beautiful daughter.

Beautiful, beautiful daughter.

And...

my husband left me and...

He got full custody of her...

and I can't even visit her.

So you see,

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