Laugh Killer Laugh Page #5

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all I want to do is just call her.

Tell her I'm sorry and that I love her.

- But I can't.

- You listen to me.

I got to go right now.

- Where are you going?

- I got to go.

But when I get back...

you and me, I'm gonna take you

to see your daughter.

But she doesn't even know me.

- She doesn't know me at all anymore.

- She knows who you are.

And believe me, there's no time

like the present to get reacquainted.

Everything's gonna be all right, Jackie.

You'll see. I'll be back in a few hours.

Hey, there he is!

- Frankie!

- Frank!

- Hey, Frank, have a seat.

- How you doing, Frank?

How you doing, fellas?

Today is your lucky day, Frank.

We got a call from our boys out in Vegas

and they need someone from back east

to run the security at the casino

and to oversee all the used jewelry

business they got out there.

And I couldn't think

of anybody but you, Frank.

- Me?

- Yeah.

Well, for how long?

How long? For as long as it takes, Frank.

You're gonna be making

a cool 200 grand there.

- 200 thousand dollars?

- Yeah.

- That's a lot of money, Tony.

- Yeah, you go out there, you work hard,

you find one of those

show girls, you know...

settle down with her a little bit

and be happy for once in your life,

you miserable bastard!

You know, I mean 200 grand

make anybody happy, right?

When am I supposed to leave?

First flight tomorrow.

Hey, what's the matter?

You seem disinterested, Frank.

No, that's not it. It's just that...

you know, I got a little something

I gotta take care of with someone.

You know, I'll definitely

make the flight, Tony.

- Okay.

- Is there anything else?

Yeah, just one more little thing.

When you get out there,

I was just wondering...

if you're gonna write any more stories

about me and my operation.

Kill that rat bastard!

No, no, no, Vinny, wait a minute, wait

a minute. Maybe we shouldn't do it here.

You know what? Just take him down

to the warehouse and chop him up.

Come on, let's go chop him up.

Pop the trunk.

- Who's this?

- Who's that?

Hey, fellas.

Can you tell me how to get

to the 59 street bridge?

You keep going straight. If you hit

the water, it means you missed the bridge.

Hey, man, your humor flows like molasses.

And if you keep going straight

and you hit water,

it means you missed the bridge.

Call for backup.

Tell him in Italian.

Hey, why don't you keep smoking?

Or burn out.

Central B5 requesting an additional unit.

- Alright, call it in.

- 20 boy central, requesting one addition.

5 boy 4 by on there?

Paging Dr. Bender.

Paging Dr. Bender, please.

Dr. Bender to the mental ward, please.

How you doing, Frank?

Mind if we talk to you for a minute?

I don't think he heard us.

Hey, Frank, can you hear us?

How you feeling, Frank?

Been in a coma for a few weeks.

I'm Detective Manteiga,

this Detective Maas.

We're from the organized crime unit.

We'd like to ask you

a couple of questions.

Would you mind explaining to us how you

ended up in the trunk of Vinny Gallino's car?

Yeah, Vinny Gallino.

He works for Tony Forte.

Did you owe him and his boss some money?

Come on, you know who we're talking about.

Tony Forte, aka "Tough Tony".

Did you owe them money?

Come on, Frank.

Don't play dumb sh*t with us, alright?

We're not rookies,

we've been around a long time.

You obviously must have done

something to piss them off.

What was it? Did you get caught

skimming off the top, or what?

You mind telling us what's so funny?

This guy's bananas.

Paging Dr. Statement,

Dr. Statement please.

So he's not crazy?

Well, his head has no structural damage.

But it's hard to say at this point

without doing any further tests.

You think maybe you're trying

to put one over on us?

I don't think so.

Unbelievable.

The one guy we find and he's nuts.

Anything he says is not gonna

hold up in court. You know that?

Yeah. But I'm not buying it.

Thanks, doc.

You know, I came into this world

full of piss and vinegar.

You know, I started making

my bones by running numbers

for Hunchback Charlie

and the 9th Avenue boys?

And I was still in junior

high school when I did that.

I ran porn theater,

strip clubs, I had a stable,

20 girls working for me.

I started putting some money

out into the street,

charging a vague that no one

could compete with.

I made a lot of money for those fellas.

I made some serious scratch.

You know, but then...

The Babania...

shooting up four times a day.

Lost everything I had.

Wound up doing ten years

in jail for armed robbery.

Ten years.

You know, when I got out, I was clean.

And I wanted to get back

into the business, you know?

So I had a...

an uncle vouch for me.

And I went back into action.

And, now, it's taken me 30 years,

30 years to get my reputation

back and I'll be damned...

if I let some muck like

Frank Stone bring me down.

Now I want that son

of a b*tch taken care of.

I want him put on ice.

And I want that done, now.

Hate to be the one who told you so,

Tony, but I told you so.

Dr. Forest, dial 118, please.

Dr. Forest, please dial 1-1-8.

No matter where you roam

They call it the blues

I have to sit next to you now.

I gotta sit next to you!

What's so funny, man?

What's so goddamn funny?

Come on, white boy,

share with me the joke.

See, last week this time,

I had a job, I had a car.

I had a woman.

A woman! I had a woman, white boy.

I was making good money, Arizona.

The place to be to work

for the right to make a living.

I used to play in the band,

a band like rock 'n' roll.

Stupid camisoles in the 80's,

that's where I met my girl.

Well, my ex girl.

She left me, white boy.

She left me for...

You're laughing!

She left me for a short order cook...

and goddamn Mexican!

A goddamn Mexican!

Dude... dude, that's just wrong, man.

- My life sucks, white boy.

- What's your name, brother?

John.

But you can call me Cricket.

Everybody calls me Cricket.

Cricket, Cricket, Cricket, like a cricket.

- Cricket.

- That jumps around.

- I jump around like a cricket.

- Oh, Cricket, baby.

I love you, white boy,

you're the best, man.

- I have a tattoo.

- Yeah?

Tattoo of a cricket. Look, look, look.

- Look at that!

- It's a cricket.

Listen, you know, brother?

I really appreciate you

opening up to me like this, brother.

I mean, really, I do, you know?

- I mean, from the heart.

- The heart?

You know what I'm saying?

From the heart, brother.

Holy sh*t, man!

Oh, man!

Dammit! Goddammit!

Alright, guys,

finish your drink and get out.

Wait a minute.

Wait, you throwing me out of here

for laughing? Is that...

I mean, what is wrong with this place?

Hey! This place sucks!

Hit the door, pal.

I want you out of here, now.

Alright, alright, alright.

Look, no hard feelings.

Alright, I'm going, okay?

I'm going. Hey, what's that on your nose?

Crazy, man!

- Goddammit!

- Hey, Cricket.

Goddammit, man!

Hi.

Hello?

Hey, listen, I've had a hell of a day.

I just broke out of a hospital.

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