Laughter in Paradise Page #3

Certainly not.

What a disgusting suggestion!

To marry, I mean.

Here's your next order.

Remarkable thing... I've come out

without my wallet.

Lend me a fiver, old boy.

Thanks.

Better make it a tenner...

easier to remember.

What on earth's that?

That is Elizabeth.

You're dead right old boy...

Not my cup of tea at all!

I should hope not.

Look, I must telephone her now...

Box is over there.

Oh, thank you.

With all this on my mind...

I just cannot face her tonight.

Couldn't face her any night.

Hello!

You want some ciggies?

No sweetie, I'm afraid you? from now on.

What about a date later on this evening?

I feel like celebrating.

Look... I don't want that old goat

in the telephone box to see us talking.

Why?

Well, don't think me mad...

But just for the moment, I'm not allowed

to talk to women.

Don't I count as a woman?

You see dear, something has occurred.

But... you promised to take me out tonight...

...and I've had a bath... specially!

I've got some splendid news for you

about my wedding leave.

Commandant Borthwaite's given me 28 days!

28!

28 days?!

Oh dear... I know...

Yes dear, of course... of course...

It could be splendid.

But you see...

Well she said you only get life once...

Might as well enjoy it!

Denny... the? after 10 years?

You're not serious!

You don't mean it!

What am I to say to Commandant Borthwaite

and the girls?

They've bought us a toast-rack, and everything.

You're breaking my heart, that's all.

No, you can't explain!

Alright then... tomorrow morning at 11.

On the dot!

Daddykins... daddy...

Daddy... did you hear that?

Did you hear it?

I told you so... shifty customer.

Always said so... always will.

Never liked him, never shall...

Sort of fellow who'll end up

in the hands of the police.

Scott dropped the ball...

He tricks to outside left...

Lobs to Menster...

who pleas to the captain...

The captain checks his guard...

...passes it to Loguie...

Loguie to Louis...

Louis takes to the outside...

Roper?

Roper... Roper...

He flies in and he slams...

Good evening...

I think I am most anxious

to go to prison for 28 days.

And I wondered if you had

any suggestions.

Well... have you committed any crime?

Felony? Or breach of the peace?

No, not yet... though within reason,

I am prepared to.

Then get out of here...

can't you see we're very busy?

Go on Eddie... Roper had the ball...

What happened?

Wait, I don't think you quite understand.

For reasons which I cannot divulge,

I must go to prison.

And I've come for your advice.

You've 'ad it, now 'op it!

Look here my man, I'm asking

a perfectly civil question.

And you got a civil answer.

Now 'op it!

I'm a taxpayer...

And what is more, I'm a personal friend

of the commissioner.

Then I should go and see him...

You'll find he's far less busy

than WE are.

Good evening Benson...

Your lord and master

is now a man of substance.

Congratulations, sir...

How much?

50,000 smackers Benson...

50,000 iron men.

Splendid sir, splendid...

In that case we might have little chat

about my arrears of salary?

Quite, but I shall have to borrow a few more quid,

just to see me through the testing period.

In that case we haven't been

left anything at all...

Is that it, sir?

No it isn't Benson...

now sit down and listen to me.

I shouldn't be telling you this...

as I made a solemn oath not to do so.

I'll rely on your discretion...

Or honour among thieves,

scouts' honour, and all that.

Well, carry on, sir.

Well, it's like this...

I forfeit the whole darned lot, if I don't marry

the first unmarried girl I speak to.

Of course I shan't take any notice of that.

Oh, naturally not, sir!

Oh, but I must do it carefully, Benson...

In fact I'm just as keen to find someone

with a tidy bank balance of her own.

After all, I don't want to get landed

with a gold-digger, now that I'm rich.

You listening, Benson?

Oh, yes sir... I see your point...

Since hearing your... bad news...

Several young ladies have telephoned

their heartfelt sympathy.

That's what I mean... you see

they're closing in already!

Shocking bad taste...

with the old boy hardly cold.

Oh, quite sir, quite.

Well, if I might be allowed

to offer some advice...

Why not leave town and

spend a few days on the boat.

Good idea, Benson...

I'll go tomorrow.

I'll take MY car.

Oh, better send the other one back

to Sports Cars Ltd.

Give them the usual spiel...

I wasn't satisfied.

Then bolt the front door,

disconnect the telephone...

This is worse than the bailiffs, Benson!

How right you are sir...

But don't worry... I'll look after you.

Don't forget tonight!

6.30 sharp... best bib and tucker.

Alright.

Oh, Miss Heath...

It's such a lovely day today...

I wondered whether you'd like to come

to the pictures with me tonight.

Oh... I...

There's a particular picture

that I want to see...

It's all about a holdup man.

I'd love to, Mr Russell...

But unfortunately Mr Stewart has asked me

to go out with HIM tonight.

Mr Wagstaffe's mail, Mr Russell.

Thank you Mr Stewart.

"Unfortunately" did you say?

Of course, if you'd rather go out

with 'Handsome Herbert'...

Why are you always

so nasty about him?

Little twerp!

Reach!... Reach for the sky!

Come on... stick 'em up!

No mucking about!

Come on! I said no mucking about.

Reach!...

...brother... for the sky.

Come on... stick 'em up!

I haven't any time to waste.

Apparently you HAVE.

One of the signs of softening of the brain

is talking to oneself.

Watch it, Mr Russell, watch it!

Get back to your work!

Yessir.

Softening of the head.

You said something, sir?

No... I was talking to myself.

Get out!

Get out!

In your advertisement about a domestic,

you mentioned references.

I haven't done this sort of work before

Oh, don't worry about that...

I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name again.

Agnes Russell.

I'll be frank with you Agnes...

We've had quite a number

of servants here.

Some with excellent references, but...

None of them have lasted.

But I'm sure you'll do us very well.

That'll be my father...

I expect he wants to see you.

Shall we go up?

Aren't men impatient!

My father is a semi invalid,

and this is...

Father's not really very ill.

Father, this is our new helper.

An older instance.

What's your name?

Agnes Russell.

Need be perfect from now on, my girl...

All the others worked badly,

and a rotten lot they were!

I'm sure Agnes will work very well, father.

We'll see.

Can you cook better?

Yes...

You can cook my supper tonight.

There's a steak in the larder...

You don't make a mess of it now!

You're a sour face!

I like happy people about me!

Smile!

Go on!... Smile!

That's better!

He likes you...

He likes you very much.

He does!

I'm as happy as a lark...

A lark, a lark...

I'm as happy as a dog!

Bumbum... bumbum...

Hello there!

I say, are you in difficulty?

Don't bother, thanks...

I can manage.

No bother at all!

So, what's the trouble?

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