Laughter in Paradise Page #5
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 1951
- 93 min
- 147 Views
What did you say?
1,000!
You're off your head!
- I know it sounds insane...
- Don't come near me!
- But I mean it!
- Go and lie down!
- I'll put it in writing!
- Get out!
Potty!... Completely potty!
You rang for me?
Yes... but not to appear like
something out of a French farce.
Go away and put your clothes on.
Never mind... you look terrible anyway.
they're eatin' up the oxygen.
And you dare to send for me
just for that?
Ah... keep a civil tongue in your head!
Why should I?
You've dismissed me haven't you?
I'll say what I like...
And here and now I'd like to say
that you're the most detestable,
abominable old man
it's ever been my misfortune
to encounter.
A pity... because I'd changed my mind
about sending you away.
Anything to say about that?
Mind you, it's not for your 1,000...
which obviously doesn't exist.
But it does, and I mean it.
Nor for your beauty or efficiency...
Which don't exist either...
But purely for my own convenience,
until I can find somebody better.
Which shouldn't be difficult.
See the door closes when you go.
Uh... the flowers.
Your 'Handsome Herbert' seems to be
a little late this morning.
He may not be handsome...
But at least he's not a wolf
at the Hammersmith Palais.
Naughty, naughty!
What on earth are you doing, Mr Stewart.
Leave that young lady alone!
And in Mr Wagstaffe's office, too!
No she isn't, not while I'm here
to stop her.
Thank you Mr Russell,
but it's quite alright.
Oh, no it isn't...
Now you run along
and leave this to me.
Now look here, Stewart...
I'm not going to stand for any nonsense...
Oh, go away...
Go away, little man.
Alright! Little man I may be,
but not for long.
Let me tell you that one day
I'll come in here in a Rolls-Royce.
And I'll have an overdraft of 20,000.
Or more!
And you'll me calling me "sir".
Oh, I'd like to see that!
Well, sometimes... worms change their...
Their spots!
And when I do, I'll march in here
without knocking...
And I'll...
I'll sit on the desk.
And I'll say "Hello Wagstaffe... how's the... "
You fool! Look what you've done
to my suit!
I'm terribly sorry, Mr Stewart...
You'll pay for this!
No, it was both of our faults, really.
Oh, no... you wait until
Mr Wagstaffe hears about this.
Oh, bother Mr Wagstaffe...
Mr Wagstaffe... Mr Wagstaffe...
Come on, don't just stand there...
help me pick them up.
Come on...
And what are you doing NOW, Mr Russell?
It's your wife again, sir...
She's... gone to pieces.
Mr Russell, how long you remain with us,
I don't know, but I hope not long.
But until you go, you won't set foot
in my office again.
Yessir... no sir...
Oh but sir, I...
That was an order, Mr Russell.
Father... what are you doing?
Searching her belongings...
what do you think I'm doing?
That's a dreadful thing to do.
You mind your own business
and answer the bell.
That'll be the detective.
Detective?
Oh father, not again...
Just when we get somebody
good at last.
Away you go!
I had an appointment with Mr Webb.
If you're from the police,
you're wasting your time.
Oh I'm not from the police,
I'm a private inquiry agent, Mrs...
or Miss...
Miss.
What private enquiry there can be
about that poor soul, I can't imagine.
- Good morning, sir.
- Your detective.
A bit young, aren't you?
For what, sir?
For what I've a mind to.
Listen to me.
Whereupon she offered me 1,000
to let her stay for a month.
Did she now?
Father, isn't this going a bit too far?
That's why I sent for you.
Nobody in their right mind would stay
in this house a minute longer than they need.
I don't agree, sir.
You're here to do a job of work...
not to be flippant... Sit down.
Sorry, sir.
Now then... either she's cracked,
and has escaped from some asylum...
Or she's a criminal lying low.
I tend to think she's a criminal.
This identity card... obviously forged...
Look at it.
No 30-bob-a-week domestic servant
could live in that neighbourhood.
Certainly looks a bit odd.
What do you want ME
to do about it?
Check up on her...
Find out where she comes from,
where she goes... everything about her.
Is she here now?
No... gave her the afternoon off.
Didn't want her spotting you.
Well? You'll take the job?
Certainly, sir.
Good.
It'll be a pleasure.
Oh, ma'am!...
I didn't expect you!
I'll just put me apron on...
It doesn't matter about the apron.
Come here please.
No, ma'am. You see...
What with no references...
Ethel, I'm afraid I've been
a little hard on you at times.
One doesn't realise...
If you care to stay with me,
you can.
I shall be away about a month.
You could have a little holiday.
Oh, ma'am...
With pay, of course.
I should like you to stay, if you would.
Oh, thank you very much, ma'am.
Oh yes, I will.
Good.
Well, I'm going to have a little rest...
I'm rather tired.
Yes.
But she's asleep.
Is she? Good.
I dare say you can help me.
I'm a reporter.
Shall we go in?
I s'pose.
What's your name?
Ethel.
Sit down, Ethel.
I know that face.
Miss Russell's brother.
He passed away last week, poor gentleman.
Henry Russell... the joker?
That's right, the practical joking man.
He left her a fortune, so they say.
Did he now?
How much did he leave her?
Ethel...
Who is this gentleman?
What does he want?
I'm glad to meet you, Miss Russell.
I'm from the Chelsea Chronicle,
and I wonder if you'll give me
a line or two on your brother.
I have nothing to say.
Ethel... show the gentleman out.
I don't wish to see him again.
But Miss Russell, I...
Please!
5 please!
You don't understand... I...
Oh, that's alright, sir... 5.
Oh yes, of course... 5.
Thank you.
Wrong tartan.
The wrong tartan, sir?
I'll be with you in a moment, sir.
Terribly sorry!
I wasn't looking where I was going.
Pardon... my fault.
Excuse me, sir...
Did you purchase anything in the store?
No, no... oh yes... a pedigreed pipe.
5.
Nothing else, sir?
Absolutely not.
Would you mind just
stepping into the office?
Oh. of course... I'd be delighted.
Come in here, please.
Well, gentlemen...
What can I do for you?
Have you any objection
to being searched?
None at all... none at all...
Where would you like to begin?
This pocket.
I've been robbed!
My wallet!
I demand compensation!
What have you done with it?
My wallet's gone!
I don't understand...
It doesn't make sense.
Why is she working here, then?
Search me...
Either practical jokes run in the family...
Or she's cracked, as your father suggested.
The doctor's with him now,
but he won't be long.
Will you wait?
Better not... Agnes may return...
She mustn't spot me.
But there are some more questions
I'd like to ask her.
There isn't much time now, so...
Perhaps we could have some food
together tonight and discuss it.
What questions?
Oh... a few details.
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"Laughter in Paradise" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/laughter_in_paradise_12318>.
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