Laughter in Paradise Page #7

Unless he wants it to.

What can I do?

Be gentle with him.

Try not to cross him in any way...

That might be dangerous.

Not much else you can do.

I see.

Thank you Doctor, I'll do what you say.

Goodbye, my dear.

I'll look in again tonight.

Yes, Doctor.

Why... Captain Russell!

I thought you were going away.

Yes, I am going very shortly now.

What on earth have you got there?

A brick.

A brick...

I do hope you'll be back soon...

I'm just longing to get on with "Blood Lust"...

The best yet, you know.

Yes, Sheila.

That's the first time you've ever

called me Sheila.

Oh, is it?

Well, do forgive me,

I'm not feeling very well.

In fact I'm not myself at all.

Don't move, Sheila.

Now listen dear...

Don't ask any questions

and don't look back...

I'll explain everything later...

Please go away quickly Sheila...

as quickly as you can...

Hurry, dear.

Deniston!

Fluffy!

So this is your Secret Service?

I haven't gone yet, Fluffy.

Daddy was quite right...

he warned me!

Please... listen Fluffy...

Don't call me that!

How could you do it?

You're supposed to be behind

the Iron Curtain... and look at you!

Who was that woman?

What were you giving her?

- Nothing dear... nothing...

- Well, what's in that parcel?

A brick.

This is no moment

to start being funny.

You've humiliated me quite enough.

I shall apply to Commandant Borthwaite

for an immediate posting overseas.

- Elizabeth...

- No!

Did you do that?

Yes, he did... I saw him!

You?!

What are you doing here?

Don't worry, it's nothing to do with you.

Where's Joan?

Now what's all this about?

Please go away...

You've no right to come in here.

I've every right to know why you're out

every time I telephone.

Why you lock yourself

up in this dismal house

as if you were terrified

of the sight of me?

I just don't want to see you any more,

that's all.

- Liar!

- Would you please go!

Oh no! I'm not going to stand by and see you

waste your life on that old fraud upstairs.

I'm going to see him now.

Would you please try to understand..

I'm the only one he's got, and I...

I can't leave him.

Listen, you little fool...

I want to marry you so badly, that I'm even

prepared to let your father live with us.

Ever seen one of these?

It's a Special Licence.

And we're going to use it tomorrow.

Oh no!... He'd never stand the shock!

Joan, if you don't make up your mind,

it'll be too late.

Please... could you leave us

alone for a moment.

Just for a minute... I only want

to help you if I can.

Please!

Alright... but only for a moment.

You probably found out by now

that I live alone on a small income.

And that I'm rather

a friendless sort of person.

But perhaps you don't know why.

The answer's a simple one.

I sacrificed my youth, like you are doing,

for someone like your father.

Like you, I received no gratitude...

No reward.

Only misery... and loneliness.

But... someone must look after him.

I will!

You?!

Yes... I'll take care of him

for as long as it's necessary.

Go and marry your young man...

tomorrow!

Then come back and worry about

your father.

- He'd never stand it!

- Yes he will... go on!

Go on!

Thanks.

You're very late this morning.

A hold-up, I suppose.

A hold-up... on the train.

Train... yes.

Your hat.

Thank you.

Good morning Mr Russell.

Miss Heath...

Is Mr Wagstaffe alone just now?

Yes.

I was afraid he would be.

What?

You know he never sees anyone

between 10 and half-past.

Well I wanted to see him

on rather a personal matter.

Would you mind stopping

anyone coming in?

Until I've finished with him.

Of course.

Is something on your mind?

Yes.

I hope one day you'll let me take you out

to dinner and explain.

Ask me and see.

I'll hope you'll come...

after... after...

But Mr Russell has all day

to badger Mr Wagstaffe.

These two gentlemen have

an appointment with him.

I'm sorry, but there's nothing

in the book about it.

Then you must have forgotten

to put it down.

This way gentlemen, please.

You on holidays yet gentlemen?

I'm going next week... camping.

Athletic.

Bit of an amateur boxer.

Two gentlemen to see you sir.

All right... put 'em up!

Reach!... Reach for the sky!

Well done, Russell!

I levelled the pistol at them...

and after a brief spot of struggle,

they capitulated.

Unconditionally, eh? Absolutely terrific,

Mr Russell.

Now tell me... what are your plans

for the future?

Well, I understand I'm to be offered

a branch managership... immediately.

Absolutely terrific.

Now tell me... one last question...

why do you carry a water pistol?

Well... it was...

It was a sort of... surprise for somebody.

Absolutely terrific.

Your family's getting up to some

funny pranks these days, eh?

I've brought you the evening papers.

Thank you.

Where's that daughter of mine?

She should have been back hours ago.

She's here now.

She wants you to meet her husband

before they go away.

What did you say?

She's just married that young detective

you hired to spy up on me.

She's... married... detective?

This is YOUR doing!

No... it's yours.

You brought him into the house.

You needn't put on a show for ME.

Because I shan't send for the doctor

even if you do.

- How dare you!

- Now, now, now!

As far as you're concerned,

there's no need to worry.

Because I've promised your daughter to stay here

with you for as long as it may be necessary.

Smile, Mr Webb...

Look... over there.

Congratulations, my dear!

I hope he makes a better husband

than he does a detective.

Oh, thank you, daddy!

I was so worried.

Very foolish f you...

You don't have to worry...

It's poor "Bertha" who must bear the brunt.

It won't be for long, daddy...

and then you'll come and live with us.

Live with a detective?

I'd never feel safe.

Remarkably kind of you.

Daddy, we must fly... our train leaves

in half an hour.

- I'll look after her, sir.

- You'd better.

Thank you, Agnes, for everything.

- Good luck.

- Thanks.

Touching little scene!

Thank you for taking it so well.

I'm never one to shut the door

after the horse has bolted.

But I'm sometimes liable to look

a gift horse in the mouth.

That was a noble gesture of yours...

offering to stay indefinitely

with an unpleasant old man like me.

I've made 2 such gestures in my life.

I was happy to do it.

It was only necessary for you

to stay a month, wasn't it?

Yes.

Well, I don't think such unselfishness

should go unrewarded...

I'm prepared to make a sacrifice, too...

And do without you and your 1,000...

You're fired, Miss Russell!

Pack your bags and go now.

I might have expected that.

Aye... I think you might.

I don't know what you're losing...

but it must be worth a lot.

It was... but I think I've gained more.

In other ways.

Goodbye Mr Webb.

And congratulations.

Enjoy your weekend?

You're for the 'igh jump.

There's a new beak on the bench today...

he's up from the East End court...

Prob'ly have a down

on the upper classes.

No. 1 on your list...

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