Leap Year Page #3

each other!

Okay,

we're here, on the road.

Uh-huh!

It's only February 27th.

l still have two days to get there, so...

Mmm-hmm.

Where are we?

l may even get there before the stores close.

l could get some shopping in.

That's the reason

you're going to Dublin, is to shop?

No, I'm...

lf you must know,

I'm going there to propose to my boyfriend.

He's at a medical

conference there. He's a cardiologist.

We are applying

to move into the most amazing apartment,

and l actually thought

he was going to propose to me the other night,

but he didn't.

Yeah?

Yeah, and you guys have

this great tradition

that a woman can

propose to a man

on the 29th of February

in a leap year.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

So l thought,

"Why not?"

Yeah!

Yeah.

l mean...

That's the

stupidest thing I've ever heard!

No, it isn't.

Yeah, it is.

No, it's a tradition.

It's a romantic tradition.

It's a day for

desperate women trying to trap themselves a man

who clearly doesn't

want to get married.

You've got to know

that if your man wanted to propose,

he'd have done it

already. Fact!

No one touches the music!

Are you crazy?

You know nothing about me or Jeremy!

You know what you are?

You're a cynic.

You're a lonely,

bitter cynic.

Better that than an idiot.

"Leap year, diddly-eye!

"Will you marry me,

diddly-eye?

"I've got a suitcase

called Louis, diddly-eye!"

What are you,

the Lucky Charms Leprechaun?

You know what? We are done.

We're not talking anymore.

I'm not paying you to talk,

I'm not paying for your opinion.

I'm paying

you to drive, so just get in the car and drive.

Suits me, Bob.

And what is with

this Bob thing?

Aren't you going

to do something?

l am doing something.

I'm waiting for them to move.

For God's sake.

Hi, cows.

Look, l have spent

the past 24 hours in every level of hell,

and l am not going to let

your black and white asses

drag me any further,

so if you know what's good for you, you'll move.

It comes as a real shock

to find out that you speak fluent cow.

Now!

That's right.

Nice cows.

Let's move.

Let's move along. Come on, cows.

Why don't you

propose something to them?

Yeah, you guys are...

Wow, you're big.

We're gonna just...

Oh, yeah,

they're moving now.

Must be your personality.

Yours is a bit

more repellent,

so if you want to try...

That's right.

That's how you get things done.

That's it, girl!

That's right!

That is how you get things done.

You don't just

sit around like some backwoods Irish bumpkin.

You're welcome.

You might want to

just watch your

step.

$600 shoes.

Put them in the wash,

they'll be grand.

Put them in the wash?

The wash?

You do not put

these shoes in the wash.

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Stop!

Whoa! Wait!

Stop it!

What do l do?

Get in the car

and use the brake!

Baby!

l got you, baby! l got you!

Baby!

Don't hurt yourself!

Make it stop!

My purse is in there!

Oh, darling.

Oh, Jesus.

My Renault 4!

Look what you done!

What I've done?

You couldn't just

wait for the cows!

You couldn't

just help me?

It's gonna cost at least

200 to tow her out.

That's not gonna

come out of my pocket. It's coming out of yours!

Oh, like hell.

You will have to kill me before l pay you a dime!

There's an idea.

Where you going?

Dublin.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Look, this is an easy fix.

All we need to do

is find a phone,

call the garage,

get a tow, hop in the car,

back on the road

and we'll be in Dublin in no time.

Just cool the jets,

would you?

Wait! Hey!

l wouldn't

get in there if l was you!

And l care about

your opinion because...

Fine, go ahead.

All right there, sweetheart?

Hi.

You looking

for a ride?

Yes, I'm going

to Dublin.

Oh!

In Dublin's fair city

where the girls are so pretty

Yes.

Now there's a coincidence,

'cause I'm going

there myself.

Let me help you with

the old suitcase there.

That's very sweet of you.

Not at all.

And l didn't

even have to ask.

Top of the morning to you!

Oh! Morning.

That's a fancy

bit of suitcase, no mistake.

It's quality.

You can see that just by Looking at it, you know?

Mmm-hmm.

Well, I'd say

it's been a pleasure,

but l think

we both know that...

Wait. No! Wait!

Wait! Come back here! You can't just...

They...

There you are.

Soon as l finish this,

I'll call us a tow truck.

Us? There is no us.

l am calling a real taxi.

You leave me alone.

Okay, Bob.

Excuse me.

Eoghan?

Eoghan.

Oh!

Do you have

a phone, please? Please?

Thank you.

Safe home.

Yeah, yeah.

So nice of you

to look after my suitcase,

but I'll take it back.

Thank you.

Is that right, missus?

I'll call the

American ambassador.

Oh, is this his?

Well, l just...

l...

Fun's over, lads.

Give the girl

her stuff back.

And who the hell are you?

Nobody.

Just keeping the peace.

Yeah?

Well, you can keep your peace out of it.

That was

impressive.

Ow!

Out.

Fair enough.

Hi. l just...

Should just get

my things and go.

Must be something special.

Who?

Your fella.

Oh!

Jeremy. He is.

He's...

He's a cardiologist.

Hi. When is the next train

to Dublin?

You're just in time.

The next train leaves

in two hours and 43 minutes.

Great.

It's a few bob

to Dublin, mind.

"Bob"?

Cash.

Money. You know?

Mmm.

Hey, fella.

Ballycarbery.

Mmm. Same to you.

There.

Ballycarbery Castle.

It's one of

the 10 wonders of Ireland, so I'm told.

Can only be

15 minutes to the top.

l don't want to

miss the train.

Yeah, well

that's a good point. Don't miss the train.

No.

Only two

and a half hours.

Time is going to fly.

I'll stay here.

Suit yourself.

l will.

Hi.

Hi.

Declan?

Wait! l love castles.

It's beautiful.

I'm sorry you're

not gonna get to Dublin before the shops shut.

l have

other interests besides shopping.

l have a life.

A job.

What do you do, then?

l stage apartments.

Stage apartments,

now that's...

That's...

What's that?

Well, when somebody

is selling an apartment or a home,

l bring stuff in

and make it look as beautiful as it can look.

And they get

to keep all the stuff when they buy it?

No, l take it away.

I'm just presenting them with the possibilities.

l put a sheen on it.

Hang on. So you do

your job, yeah?

Yeah.

They buy the house,

yeah?

Yeah.

And then you come along

and you take all the stuff away again, yeah?

Yeah.

You're a con artist.

No, I'm not a con...

That's just

so typical of you.

You think the worst

of everybody.

No.

Oh, no? I'd love

to know who you have a good word for.

l can think of a couple

of good words for you.

Riddle me this.

lf your apartment's on fire,

your beautiful apartment,

what would you take?

What?

lf your house was on fire

and you had 60 seconds,

what would you take?

Come on.

l...

Come on. Would it be

the Chihuahua on the duvet?

I'm not playing

this game with you.

There you are.

What would you take?

What would you take?

Your lovely inn is on fire.

Hmm.

What are you

going to take? You know, your...

Flames coming up

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