Leap Year Page #4
the stairs. You've got 60 seconds.
Oh!
The bottles of alcohol
in your pub are exploding.
What are you
going to grab?
l know exactly
what I'd "grab."
Oh, yeah? What?
Not telling you.
You can dish it,
but you can't take it, can you?
It's really...
It's a castle!
Told you.
So what's the story
with this place?
Well, hundreds
of years ago,
there was this
beautiful girl called Grainne.
Now, she was promised
in marriage to this fella called Fionn,
who was kind of
a cranky old warlord,
old enough to be her father,
old enough to be her grandfather,
and therefore
she wasn't
in love with him.
Anyway, on the night
of their betrothal,
whom did she meet
but a handsome young warrior, Diarmuid.
They fell madly in love
at first sight, but what could she do?
Well, she slips
a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks,
and the pair of them
run off together across the Shannon.
Fionn wakes
and there's Grainne gone. Well, he goes mental.
Takes his army
and heads off in hot pursuit.
But it was the people,
you know, the people in the villages of Ireland,
they took pity on
Diarmuid and Grainne.
They hid them in forests
and in their barns and castles,
where they'd sleep one night
and then they'd move on.
Come on.
Is it safe?
Of course.
Sleep was all they did,
'cause Diarmuid, good man that he was,
was suffering the old guilt
about two-timing Fionn
and out of respect for him,
didn't, you know, take it any further.
l get it.
Oh, yeah.
And then they came
to this castle
and this view.
Wow.
And 'tis said, you know,
that, unable to resist such beauty,
that here,
in this place, they...
They consummated
their love.
Oh, my God.
You're hitting on me.
I'm what?
I'm the young woman
on the eve of her engagement
that can't resist
a handsome stranger? Oh, come on.
I'm what?
You didn't honestly think
that was gonna work, did you?
Don't flatter
yourself, darling. The story's true,
but it sure as shite
ain't about you.
No?
No, you arrogant...
Arrogant what exactly?
Well, that's a tough one.
Is it American?
Oh, no. The train.
Wait! Wait,
l have a ticket!
I'm very...
You just had to take me
up there, didn't you?
One of the seven
wonders of Ireland!
Okay.
Oh, no.
Well, that speeded
things up a bit.
l hate you.
In the old days,
l could have held it for you,
but it's all
"time is money" nowadays.
Come on, now.
Come on, and don't be worrying yourself.
We'll get you to
where you want to go.
Forecast said sunny.
Here we are.
The best little B8B in Tipperary.
Come in. Come in.
Look what
the cat dragged in.
Oh! My poor dears.
You're lucky,
so you are.
Just half an hour ago,
l had two backpackers at the door
wanting the room.
But they weren't married.
Admitted it right out.
No shame.
So l sent them packing.
Right is right,
rain or no rain.
Hmm.
So, it's Mr. and Mrs...
Brady.
O'Callaghan.
Bradycallaghan.
O'Bradycallaghan.
We're not long married,
and it's still quite a mouthful for an American.
l come from a long,
long line of Dingle
O'Bradycallaghans.
We're praying
that one day
we'll be able to have
a son and heir to help keep the name going.
Anna, Declan to you.
Lovely.
Now, let's get you to your room.
Thank you.
After you, petal.
Thank you, sunshine.
Would you like a hand
with the bag, pumpkin?
Well, you're not sleeping
in that bed with me, Mr. O'Bradycallaghan.
Maybe you're not sleeping
in the bed with me.
Very gallant.
Gallant?
Welcome to the age
of equality.
You lot wanted the vote.
Live with it, darling.
Comfy.
We'll flip for it, darling.
Okay, fair's fair.
Heads l win,
tails you lose.
Heads.
Heads it is.
Shame. You can sleep
in the bath.
It's a shower.
You can sleep
in the shower.
Fine.
Just so long as
l don't have to sleep anywhere near you.
I'm washing in the shower
Getting mud off
Love hot water
Got a bruise there
Got a bruise there
Wait a minute. You lying,
deceiving son of a...
Get up! Get up.
Get up.
Whoa! What?
Oh! "Heads you win,
tails l lose."
You finally
got that, did you?
Good for you.
Up! Get up!
This is my bed. Liars forfeit.
And take a shower.
You smell.
Mmm-mmm.
You can see right
through the curtain.
Can you?
Can you?
Okay,
liars forfeit, liars forfeit!
No peeking.
Come in.
Hello, dear.
Everything all right?
Now, for dinner
we've got tripe. Homemade. Family recipe.
Tripe.
Nothing like a bit
of cow's stomach on a rainy day.
Yum. Did you hear that,
darling? Tripe!
Right, tripe.
l was thinking,
Mrs. O'Docherty,
to thank you
for taking us in on such short notice,
why don't you
let me cook?
No, darling,
l couldn't.
Oh, you could.
He's a chef. He's very good.
It's true!
Really?
Well, that's gas.
We've got two Italians
staying, as well. Would that be okay?
No problem at all!
Thanks a million.
Good call.
What the hell
are you doing now?
This recipe says
three medium carrots,
and l just think this one is a little
large to be classified as medium.
And if you look
at these two,
they're clearly medium,
while this one is slightly...
Watch.
Three medium-sized carrots.
You know, l don't think there's anything
wrong with wanting to be precise.
Okay.
Well, then
you must be very,
very precise.
Here's an idea.
Why don't you stop trying
to control everything in the known universe?
It's dinner.
Have a little faith.
It'll all work out.
Heard that one before.
Well, maybe you
should have listened.
Really? You think?
It'll all work out.
My dad was the king of "it'll all work out."
Time shares in the Bahamas,
mobile video stores,
whatever the next
big nothing was,
all our money
But don't worry.
It'll all work out.
Cut to me working
two part-time jobs after school
and us getting our house
repossessed on Christmas Eve. Ho, ho, ho.
So you will forgive me
if l don't listen.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
A father's someone
you should be able to rely on, you know?
Anyway, dinner.
We have got
cabbages, a leek,
three medium carrots.
You're not one of those
vegetarians, are you?
No.
Good.
Declan one,
chicken nil.
Sweet.
Coq au vim?
What?
Give me strength.
that you've never had chicken stew before.
Of course l have.
I'm wondering where
it is that you think chickens come from.
The freezer section.
l know, l know. l...
You just surprised me.
You keep doing that.
Give me the carrots.
Yes, carrots.
Sorry.
We build up
the temperature a little bit.
You don't need
to chop them. It's hard to hold.
That smells amazing.
Good girl. And...
So this is what
you call staging, is it?
Sort of.
Not too shabby.
Here?
Yeah.
Impeccable.
The chicken
was wonderful.
Wasn't it?
And I'm usually awful at chicken.
Jeremy always says
l make it too dry.
Jeremy?
Oh!
Jeremy. Our...
Our next door neighbor.
Who sometimes
comes by for dinner.
Right, Declan?
Mmm. Yeah, yeah.
He's a lovely old soul.
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"Leap Year" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/leap_year_12359>.
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