Leatherheads Page #4

- I still mean that.

- Then I'm still upset.

You're the tops!

- Hey, Carter!

Carter! Carter!

It's a three-ring circus with

Carter as the dancing bear.

Yeah. Wonder what that makes us.

Dodge, look, look!

Welcome to show business!

Hi!

When's the last Princeton game, Carter?

I guess I already played it.

So, you going to shake up the

team? Anybody you want fired?

No, no, no, of course not. I'm not the coach.

Besides, they're a great bunch of players.

Hey, where the hell is everybody?

CC moved practise over to

Ennis Field, at the university.

What?

Why?

Is it illustrated?

- You're late.

- Says who?

It's 8:
30. You're late.

- How's your story coming?

- Swell, thanks.

Cooked his goose yet?

You get crowds like

this when you practised?

- By the thousands.

- Yeah, I'll bet.

Dodge!

You saw the crowd? For a practise!

I tell you, our sh*t has really

come in! And look at this!

- That must make you happy, huh?

- It must.

- Hey, Dodge, you see the new uniforms?

- Can you believe it?

Yeah.

Hey, Dodgie, look at this thing!

- Brand spanking new!

- Nice.

- Say, Dodge.

- Hey, Dodge.

Hey, fellas.

Say, Dodge, you missed callisthenics.

- Thank God!

- Couple of plays we ran at Princeton.

- A couple?

- Now, I was thinking,

we should switch to the

Single Back Formation

rather than sticking with

the Wing. What do you think?

Well, the Single Back's good, but,

see, the way we ran the team...

- Which one is me?

- That's you, right there, behind the guard.

I guess I should get a couple

of diagrams of the plays we run.

Sure. Yeah. These are a lot like your

plays, only a little more effective.

- Well, a lot of our plays are pretty strong.

- Some yes, some no.

But all that matters is that we

win. We want to win, don't we, boys?

Yeah!

- You said it, Carter!

Hey, they're here! Come on, fellas!

- You're a 10.5, right, Dodge?

- 11.

Well, today's the big day, folks.

Princeton's Carter Rutherford is

playing his first professional game,

and it's right here at Ennis

Field with Duluth's own Bulldogs.

People have been coming

in to town all week

from locations as far as Akron,

Ohio and Lexington, Kentucky

just to get a glimpse

of the 6'3" phenom.

Tickets are 75 cents adults and

And if you're a Huskers fan, it's $10.

Just kidding, gang. We

love those Cleveland fans.

See you at the game.

Come on, folks! Root

for Carter! Go, Bulldogs!

They're calling for rain today, boys.

- Hey! What's a girl doing in the press box?

- Rutherford says she knows her stuff.

Yeah? I'm thinking

maybe he knows her stuff.

- Who you write for, honey?

- Tribune, fatso.

- Since when do they cover pro football?

- Since I decided to write about it.

- You planning on taking notes?

- No. Got a mind like an elephant.

It's like the Library of Congress up there.

Nothing gets lost. Nothing gets stolen.

- Ain't that right, Bob?

- Bill!

Here we go.

That Carter is really something, huh?

Great catch, Dodge.

- Nice, Dodge.

Bulldogs!

See you, boys.

"In his eagerly awaited debut as

a professional football player,

"Carter 'the Bullet' Rutherford

ran for an astonishing 162 yards.

"Given his reported salary,

that's nearly $100 a yard.

"But the fleet-footed

newcomer earned every penny.

"Unstoppable, unbeatable

and uncatchable,

"the Bullet has

arrived, and pro football

"will never be the same."

Well, he had a little help out there, Dodge.

You sure you want me to write it like that?

- We didn't fold, did we?

- No, we didn't fold, Dodge.

- He's a hell of a player.

- Yeah.

- And what do you get out of all this?

- 10% of your gross income.

It's very little, when you consider

how much I can increase your salary.

Well, just ask Carter. MGM

wants to sign him to a contract.

You think that I could be in the movies?

Sure, Zoom. Just buy a ticket.

Now, I want you to peruse

this diet and exercise plan,

which Carter has evolved

for aspiring athletes.

The Rutherford Diet, patent pending,

is based on scientific research.

So, tell me, where could

I find a Lexie Littleton?

- Chicago, I guess. There are a lot of us.

- Well, then I'm going to Chicago.

How old are you?

- A gentleman doesn't ask...

- I'm not a gentleman.

I'm a football player. Are you 30?

I'm just shy of that mark,

thank you. How old are you? 24?

Just past that mark, thank you.

- That's a lie.

- Yes, it is.

- I'm 31.

- Yup.

Do you have a question?

Pro football's got a completely

different style, Carter.

They play two, three games a week.

How do you plan on adjusting to that?

Well, maybe they'll

kind of adjust to me.

There goes the gun.

Is it possible, folks?

With this young man, well,

yes, it is! Touchdown!

You ready, Mickey? Okay, flash.

"With another eye-opening

display of canny passing

"and superb broken-field running,

Carter 'the Bullet' Rutherford

"led the Bulldogs to victory

"over an increasingly

forlorn Pottsville team.

"The choice that awaits these teams

is to imitate the college techniques

"that Rutherford has

transplanted to the pro game

"or to fall hopelessly

behind in the standings.

"What is certain are the crowds

that this Duluth team is attracting.

"And the gate receipts that are

rolling in should open every team's eyes

"to the fact that Rutherford's Bulldogs

"have launched a new era

in professional football."

That ought to hold them.

I'll get back to you tomorrow

after the Panther game.

- Okay, Lexie.

- Give me that.

Lexie.

- I know, Harvey.

- It's been four weeks. Where's my war hero?

Everyone's a little coy. This

story will loosen them up.

Just give me a little more time.

I just don't want another

sports fan writing a love letter.

Dust off that editor's desk, Harvey.

Assistant editor.

Stump, feel like crashing

a gin mill or two?

No, thanks, Dodge.

Some other time, maybe.

Hey, what do you say, Curly?

Feel like hitting the town?

No, I'm hitting the hay

instead, Dodge. Sorry.

Zoom, you old lounge

lizard, what do you say?

Gee, Dodge, I can't. There's a curfew.

A curfew? Since when?

We voted on the train.

Where was I?

Asleep.

I would have left you, too.

- Was that a bad move? I sent her flowers.

Well, then all is forgiven.

Yes, it is.

Why don't you like to

talk about the Argonne?

- Who's asking?

- Just me.

Stories get bigger over time.

- You never went to France.

- No, not that big.

Everything they say happened, happened.

It's just that the telling

of it gets a little better.

How much better?

We were pinned down in a gully.

We were there about three days, I guess.

It had been raining for about a week.

So some of the fellas and I,

we hunkered down in a foxhole, and we

just waited for the weather to break.

A writer from The Times was with us.

Now, you know I never drink,

but it was so cold and so wet.

I started to take a

few slugs off a flask.

Easy there, Carter. That

stuff will melt your teeth.

Ja! Sehr gut.

- Tell me again. Ich gebe surrender?

- Auf.

Ich gebe auf. If you have no

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