Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde Page #6

---

Go home. Try to relax.

And don't think like them.

Think like you.

OK. Thanks.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Bob, how are you?

I'm leaving the Capitol

right now.

- Thanks. Nice work.

- Oh.

Sid?

I'm sorry about that.

This happens all the time.

My break is almost up...

but I wanted to get you this

before tomorrow.

Great. Let's walk.

Sidney, this is brilliant.

How did you know all this?

Hundreds of dogs walked and

thousands of plastic baggies.

This is perfect.

This is exactly what I need.

Well, of course

I appreciate your support.

Why wouldn't it continue?

I'm already on record

on that issue.

All right.

I'll do what I can.

Don't push me, Bob.

I'll do what I can.

All right. Good night.

- I need to call in my favor.

- I'm listening.

I've changed my position

on Bruiser's Bill.

A man who controls

a political machine...

Boy, he's good.

He is really good.

I'm really glad

we're watching this.

This is good for you.

He promised to break me in two.

I'm starting

to worry about...

getting all

this wedding planning done.

Elle, I want you to follow

my lead in Washington.

And always make sure

Bruiser wears a sweater.

- Is that Sean Connery?

- No, it's not.

Powerful enough

to control congressmen...

Seriously, honey, don't worry

about the wedding research.

Just give 'em hell tomorrow.

The chair now recognizes

legislative aide Elle Woods.

Thank you, Mr. Chairman.

There she is!

Guys, she really did it.

Miss Woods?

Well, I'll be damned.

Representative Kroft...

that lip gloss looks absolutely

sensational on you.

I'm sorry, what?

It's Raspberry Macaroon

number 156.

Company shall remain nameless,

is that correct?

Well, yes. But how did you--

What if I told you,

Representative Kroft...

that you owe that

special bounce in your step...

that only comes from finding

the perfect lipstick...

to the pain and suffering

of innocent animals?

What if I was to tell you...

Congresswoman

Madeline Melanie Kroft...

that you owe

your Raspberry Macaroon...

to him?

My best friend.

Bruiser.

How many times

has he acted on my behalf?

Countless.

But today, I get the opportunity

to speak for him.

Who do you speak for?

Congressman Fuchs...

the next time you reach for your

overnight moisturizing gloves--

By the way, it's nothing

to be ashamed about.

More men should use them.

Consider asking yourself what

you're willing to sacrifice...

in the name of

beauty and soft cuticles.

Are you willing to sacrifice

animal welfare?

Or how about

the welfare of one animal?

Like Jelly,

your childhood pal...

that striking

retriever-black lab mix.

You know about Jelly?

When all the other children

refused to play Lone Ranger...

who was it that was

always your Tonto?

Jelly Belly.

Mr. Chairman...

when you look in those

snap-worthy almond eyes...

of your Rottweiler Leslie...

does it not make your heart

glow with warmth?

With due respect, Ms. Woods,

I wouldn't go that far.

But when he learned

to differentiate...

between seven different

kinds of pipes...

and fetch each one on command,

did you not swear...

to protect him

with every shotgun...

in your charming little

ammunitions case?

It wouldn't come to that.

This is a dog

we're talking about.

But if you could speak

for Leslie...

what would you say?

What would Leslie want you

to say for him, Mr. Chairman?

Stan.

To hell with it.

My Rottweiler Les is

of the homosexual orientation.

I've said it. I'm out.

My name is Stan Marks,

I'm a conservative Republican...

NRA spokesman,

and my dog is gay.

And guess what?

I couldn't be prouder

of the little flamer!

I don't care

how good my hair looks...

slicked back with

some high-dollar pomade.

Just one long stare into

that sweet sissy dog's eyes...

and I know no cosmetic

could ever be worth it!

Bruiser's Bill.

Bruiser's Bill!

We did it! Bill passing!

Bruiser's Bill!

Important legislation

for our time.

Bruiser, good work, little guy.

I would like

to conclude this hearing...

by thanking you all

for your testimony--

Mr. Chairman, sir...

The chair recognizes...

the gentlewoman

from Massachusetts.

Mr. Chairman,

committee members...

I would like to thank you for

your consideration of this bill.

However,

after further reflection...

on the budgetary realities

of this fiscal year...

I feel I must withdraw

my support for Bruiser's Bill.

- What?

- I concur!

Everybody, calm down.

I'm sorry, Bruiser.

I'm sorry, too, Elle.

I know you think

I've let you down.

Believe me, I thought

about your reaction...

maybe more than I should have.

You were outmaneuvered...

by Grace.

Grace?

For the last two sessions

she's been pushing...

this homeowners incentives bill.

This morning she struck a deal.

I withdraw my support

for Bruiser's Bill.

Homeowners incentives

comes to a vote.

That was the price

and I paid it.

That's all just deals

and trades and secrets.

That's not what people want.

Elle... I'm sorry.

Government of the people...

by the people, for the people.

So what's your story?

Were you even honest?

I guess you were.

If you didn't play games...

then you were probably

the only one.

I just don't know how

you did it.

I don't even mean

wearing that silly hat...

because that was really brave.

But...

Just trusting your country.

Trusting this system...

Trusting yourself.

I did.

Go on.

It's full of warm fuzzies.

With extra fuzz.

"Elle Woods has amazing

lateral delts."

That was my target

muscle group of the month.

Snaps for Elle's lateral delts.

"Elle Woods inspires us."

We even put little hearts

over the "Is".

- I see that.

- It was my idea.

Thank you, Timothy.

Thank you, everybody.

This is really nice.

But I just don't think

I'm cut out for this.

Elle, we have a plan.

Two words for you--

Discharge petition.

With a couple hundred

signatures...

we can spring Bruiser's Bill

from committee...

straight to the House floor

for a vote.

I don't know.

That sounds really complicated.

You've come

farther than any of us...

while maintaining

your bounce and sparkle.

We never sparkle.

None of us thought one person

could make a difference...

until you came along.

If I remember correctly,

isn't that 218 signatures?

It's not that hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess I know women

with more shoes than that.

Wait, that's me.

Elle...

it's time to finish

what you started.

OK, people,

a lot on the agenda today.

Reenie, I'm still waiting on

those one-minute floor speeches.

Timothy, I need recon on that

campaign finance reform hearing.

Grace, status meeting

in my office right away.

I said now.

Where's my staff?

They quit, without notice.

Why?

Marks and Hauser

just filed a petition...

to discharge Bruiser's Bill.

I'm pretty sure

that's where your staff is...

led by their commander

Sorority Sue.

Petition to discharge HR 2652,

aka Bruiser's Bill...

carried with no objections.

The petition is filed

and available for signature.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote