Legally Blondes Page #2

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Partial scholarship,

ma'am.

Congratulations, I'm sure.

Here at Pacific Prep,

we hold our students to a higher standard,

as well as a strict code of honor.

And such being the case,

I will need you to sign these.

- Oh, I'm not a barrister.

- Yet.

But I'd rather not sign

something I can't read.

Then Iet me give you

the gist of the agreement.

The document merely enumerates

the myriad ways

in which students

might be tempted to plagiarize,

Iie, cheat, and/ or steal.

Failure to avoid

these temptations results in expulsion.

But how do we know what to avoid

if we can't read the fine print?

The Pacific Preparatory handbook.

Read it, Iearn it, Iove it,

and we'll get along just fine.

Now, your signatures, please.

Christopher Lopez!

Yes, ma'am?

Please print out the Iadies' schedules

and show them to their first class.

I'd Iove to show them around. Come on.

Ms. Chang!

Keep an eye on those two.

The Woods twins? Why, they seem Iovely.

They possess the same perky DNA

as EIIe Woods.

EIIe Woods made a mockery

of these hallowed halls with her

Fashion Arts elective.

Which you got rid of two years ago.

And her Tai Chi Tuesdays.

Which you might consider reinstating.

You really would benefit.

I finally got this institution back on track,

and I refuse to Iet the next generation

of blonde Woods nymphs

destroy what I've created!

Tai Chi Tuesdays. I'm just saying.

Out!

Aren't you a Iittle young

to be a school administrator?

Oh, yeah, well,

I do data entry and IT in the main offices

as my work study.

Work-study?

Well, yeah. On full scholarship at Pac Prep,

you need to work to pay off your tuition.

Ergo, work-study.

It's a good thing

we're only partial scholarship, then.

Inputting data makes me nod off.

Not me. I can input data all day Iong.

You into computers?

I faff around a bit.

- Faff?

- What Annie means is faff.

It means dabble.

Good to know. Well, here we are.

This is first-period American History.

I'm in the same class,

but I need to swing

by the computer Iab first.

So here, Izzy.

I'll see you in class, Annie.

- Annie?

- Sorry.

Hello? Come on.

It's an Uber Electronics phone.

My daddy's company isn't even

releasing them in stores till next year.

It's a phone, video game console,

MP3 player, PDA, all in one.

It even has

HD hologram technology.

- Oh!

- The coolest thing ever.

I've gotta have one.

Well, I might be able to convince my daddy

to get you one.

Whoa. Hottie airlines taxing into the gate.

I'll check us in with the teacher

while you find us seats.

Okay.

Oh, my...

Goldilocks make Justin Bear happy.

What are you two going on about?

Hi, Mr. Golden, I'm Izzy,

and I was told I'm to check in with you.

Excuse me.

What do you think you are doing?

Um...

Sitting?

In my chair.

Literally, that's my chair.

My daddy paid for it.

Oh, I'm sorry. That plaque is beautiful.

You have a Iovely seat.

Everyone knows, front row,

three across, in every classroom,

my seat.

Do I need to send out a memo

to every newbie dweeb that...

Are you, Iike, a frosted flake or what?

I beg your pardon?

I just told you that's my seat.

Well, this is a bit awkward,

considering I've never even met you.

- I'm Izzy...

- Oh, okay! Am I being punked?

Is this a joke? 'Cause I'm not Iaughing.

Anyone?

Izzy, I saved you a seat here.

Excuse me.

There's two of them?

Look, Brad, be a sport.

Sharpen my pencils.

Justin, the sharpener's three feet away.

You know that sound drives me crazy.

Welcome back.

I am Mr. Golden, your history teacher.

I would Iike to extend a special welcome to

- Annie and Izzy Woods.

- Hi.

- They're new here to Pac Prep.

- Hi there.

And they are...

Hot.

From the UK, Mr. Whitley,

which is actually quite ironic

when you consider how much class time

we have spent discussing

one of their country's greatest upsets.

Would you care to guess

what that subject is?

How about you, Annie?

The... The...

The...

Don't be shy, Annie.

You know the answer.

America, England...

Everybody was upset.

David Beckham joining the Galaxy?

No. No, Izzy. No, actually.

We were actually talking

about the American Revolution.

Now, does anyone have any thoughts

about what advantages the Patriots had

that allowed them to defeat the English?

Miss Donohugh.

Our forefathers' biggest advantage

was to keep the war well inland,

where Britain's massive navy

posed Iittle threat.

My forefathers crossed

"the pond" on the Mayflower,

so we know a Iittle bit

about this sort of thing.

Yes. Well, thank you.

- Uh-huh.

- Well, anyone else? Any thoughts?

Yes, Izzy.

Well, we came across recently

on Virgin Atlantic.

But I once read this brilliant paper

that claimed that the arrogance

of the British military

may well have been the colonists'...

I mean, the Patriots' greatest advantage.

You see,

our daft ancestors totally underestimated

the keenness of you Yanks'

mostly civilian force,

and so failed to dispatch

England's best soldiers.

Well, that's wonderful, Izzy!

Thank you!

Well, now, you see, class,

this is exactly the kind of fresh insight

I'm always Iooking for.

You never told me you thought

my colonies paper was brilliant.

And it was.

Not my fault you can't speak up.

We just find that this dress code

makes us all Iook Iike flight attendants.

Did you really sit in Tiffany's seat?

What was it Iike?

Cold.

Bangers and mash sounds Iike hurl. Is it?

So-so.

Where'd you get those matching bracelets?

They are so high-end.

Donatella... No, Ron Herman.

- Covent Garden.

- At a flea market.

- Who does your hair?

- Us.

Well, why wouldn't she

wanna do my homework?

- Who does your nails?

- Us.

Just who do those

bottle-blonde bimbos think they are?

Actually, the buzz says

their summer-wheat-number-four

hair color is natural.

Not a single highlight.

And even more sick, their noses are real.

Come on.

That's a Dr. Feldman number seven

if ever I've seen one.

Or two.

Hey, what's up?

And Justin is totally digging them.

Are you actually suggesting

that those Brit twits

pose a threat to moi?

Well, Iike, reality check, Tiff.

They seem to be doing pretty well.

Don't think I didn't notice.

As Sun Tzu said,

"Keep your friends close

and your enemies closer."

Sun Tzu?

You mean, Iike, the sushi chef at Nobu?

Tiffany. Scram!

Hi. I'm Tiffany. Mind if I join?

If you don't mind sitting

with a pair of frosted flakes.

I'm so sorry I was a jerk earlier.

I really think that you got

the wrong first impression of me.

It's just I have this vision thing,

see, where I need to sit in that same chair

in every class to see the board.

My vision is, Iike, 20/ one zillion.

I'm really insecure about it.

But, well, I was rude.

I'm sorry. Can we, Iike, rewind?

Of course.

I was a bit rude myself.

It's Isabelle, right?

- Izzy. And this is...

- Annie.

Oh, hi, Chris. Take a seat.

Yes, please. Take a seat.

Over there with your friends.

I think they're waiting for you.

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