Legally Blondes Page #3

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But wait a minute. Chris is really nice.

- Oh, and cute.

- Yeah.

And that's what makes it

that much more tragic.

Tragic?

If you want to make it at Pac Prep,

I'd better bring you up to speed

on the dos and the don'ts.

For example,

the saddest members of the FCC.

Don't stare at them!

Financially Challenged Club.

Scholarship kids.

Poor unfortunates who wander these halls

Iike cash-strapped ghosts.

I see poor people.

They're so ashamed of their situation.

Well, they give us our space,

we give them theirs.

And never the two shall meet.

I mean, why shove our obvious advantages

in their faces?

I mean, it's just so disrespectful.

Who is that cruel?

Just one tuition check away

from hopping on to the...

Big, yellow, public...

School bus.

I mean, the stories that I have heard

about this kind of Iifestyle

is just so...

Middle-class.

Look, we should tell you that...

That we completely understand.

We'll do our best to respect others

who have Iess.

Delish, then.

But come on. It's your first day.

Let's talk about something

more relevant to humanity, Iike...

Lip gloss.

We could've just told her

we're on scholarships, I guess.

And commit social suicide on our first day?

We're EIIe Woods' cousins.

We have a reputation to uphold.

And think of Dad.

We need to make a go of it here

for his sake.

I guess you're right.

But it was really kind of Tiffany

to Iet us come under her wing Iike that.

We could've really mucked things up here.

She has got amazing style.

I've only seen shoes Iike that in magazines.

Look.

They should've just named

the whole place Tiffany Prep.

Pretty cool, huh?

Tiff's dad is the CEO of Uber Electronics.

Uber Electronics?

As in one of the biggest

computer technology companies

in the world?

The biggest.

Not a brag, 'cause I'm not Iike that.

Just a fact,

in case you find yourselves

in a conversation

about my family's incredible wealth.

Wouldn't want you to not have the 411.

- Your car, Miss Donohugh.

- Oh! There's our ride.

She drives an aircraft carrier.

You two need a Iift?

No, thanks. Our dad's picking us up.

Another time?

Definitely. Like, tomorrow?

Mmm! You are on. Tomorrow, then.

Bag, Charles.

Certain days you wake up

And it's Iike all the world's...

So I said,

"Hello? What part of 'decaf soy Iatte'

don't you understand?"

Hola, Sylvia.

Good morning, Miss Donohugh.

Right after Iunch, Ash and I took the time

to stack those trays for you.

We thought you could use a hand.

Mmm-hmm.

Have a beautiful day.

Poor woman. She works so hard.

So sweet of you to help her.

Although, I have to say

she didn't Iook too happy about it.

Well, often,

when supporting the Iess fortunate,

you're only met with scorn.

Gum? I have pink and green.

Uh-huh, that's right

This is the place to be tonight

Welcome to the party

Aw, yeah

Welcome to the party

Aw, yeah

This is my party

And it's all about me

This must be Iike

Iiving in the Victoria and Albert Museum.

We actually studied this piece

in our art appreciation class Iast year.

This is a beautiful reproduction.

Reproduction?

Welcome to the party

Aw, yeah

Welcome to the party

Aw, yeah

Your estate is amazing.

Stables, pools, helipad, tennis courts.

The only thing missing is...

Two trampolines?

One for me

and one for my personal trainer.

Dolph swears that it is the best workout

you'll ever have.

You ever been on one?

- When I was younger, I, you know...

- "Dabbled."

Come on, silly.

I'll teach you a few things.

Nothing too scary.

Let's try something easy Iike this.

Ooh!

Brilliant, Tiff.

Like this?

Show-off.

Okay, that was pretty good. Try this.

Wow! Let me try.

Oh, gee, you're pretty good.

How about this?

Wow! How about this?

Isn't this fun?

How about this?

Tiffany, are you all right?

I'll have my driver take you home.

MR. GOLDEN:

And now, class, your quiz results.

Izzy.

Annie, here's yours.

I did great.

Don't worry, Izzy. I'll tutor you.

MR. GOLDEN:

The constitution is pure poetry.

And now, each one of you

is going to have the chance

to recite this patriotic work of art

up here in front of the entire class,

beginning with the student

with the highest grade-point average.

Ladies and gentlemen,

all the way from the UK,

Miss Annabelle Woods!

You'll be fine.

MR. GOLDEN:
Miss Woods?

We... The...

- We the people...

- MR. GOLDEN:
Okay. Okay.

Everybody, settle down.

- Please continue, Miss Woods.

- Oh...

Hey, beautiful. Which one are you?

- Excuse me?

- Which twin? Iggy or Annie?

Iggy.

My friends just call me Izzy.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's that whole, you know,

Iost in translation thing,

since you speak...

...read The Odyssey again.

We've read it the Iast two years.

You know, because you're from England

and you speak...

English.

Obviously.

Yeah.

Hey, nerd, get another irritating habit.

So, where was I?

Oh, you got a date

for the silver bells dance?

Hey, shouldn't you be asking Tiffany?

Everybody says you're an item.

Well, some of the time.

Hey, Tiffany Donohugh doesn't own me.

You're keeping your enemies really close,

if you ask me.

I'm paying them a Iittle visit tomorrow

to "study."

The only thing I'm going to "study"

is them.

There's gotta be a skeleton

in their pink perky closets.

You're in a mess

You should see yourself

Listen to you

You sound Iike someone else

- Hi!

- Come on in.

We were just getting

to the battles of Concord and Lexington.

Mmm, I'd rather hear about the battles

between Armani versus Versace.

I barely passed British history.

Now I have to slog through American?

It's too much. I give up.

It's still early in the term.

You're a great debater.

You need to use

that confidence for the test.

Easy to say when you're getting an A,

and I'm barely passing.

MR. WOODS:
Tea time.

This is our handsome, scholarly,

and currently Iess-than-well-dressed dad.

Dad, this is Tiffany.

- Hello.

- Hi.

I Iove the apron.

I wish my own father could just relax

and enjoy being common.

No offense.

None taken, I think.

Oops! Nature calls.

Bye-bye, fellows.

Your daughters are awesome.

And they're already so popular.

- Well, wish I could take credit. I...

- Is that your wife?

Oh, yes.

She's beautiful. I can see where the girls

got their good Iooks. No offense.

Well, that time maybe a Iittle offense.

And I Iove that painting.

Oh, no. That is EIIe Woods.

Oh, yes! EIIe Woods.

Actually, I've heard of her.

Headmistress Higgins

speaks of her often and fondly.

Yes, she is a Pac Prep graduate

and a favorite cousin.

This is her house, actually.

I certainly couldn't afford a palace Iike this

on my professor's salary.

- Oh, sure.

- That's why I'm so glad that Izzy and Annie

have a good friend Iike you to study with,

because it's very important

they work hard to keep their scholarships.

Well, then, it is very Iucky

that the girls have scholarships.

So, until we meet again,

which I guess will be tomorrow

at the alumni dance, hmm?

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