Leprechaun Page #4

oozing cruddy stuff

dripping all down its head.

The guy's gone with a capital "Dead."

Ozzie, will you cut it out

with that stupid bell?

Wait. It sounds like it's

coming from the kitchen.

We're, like, really scared, okay?

Stay here. I'm gonna check it out.

Nathan, be careful.

My leg!

Caught you in a bear trap.

I caught you in a bear trap.

- You look like a stupid sap.

- What the hell are you?

Oh, oh, it looks like you're hurt.

Let's play surgeon.

No!

- Nathan!

- Tory, no!

- Tory, get back!

- What the hell happened?

- My leg!

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Ozzie, call the police!

Call the police!

Get off me!

- You can't hurt me.

- Oh, my God!

Alex, get the shotgun!

All right! I'll get the shotgun.

- Hurry up, Alex!

- Ozzie, it's me!

- I gotta get the shotgun!

- Hurry!

Help! Help! It's happening!

The attack is on.

O'Grady farm. Send help.

The... The leprechaun is attacking.

Army, navy, guns, marines.

- And we're gonna need some medicine.

- Okay, thanks.

Hey, Sheriff, I just got a call from Ozzie.

Says the leprechaun is attacking.

What was it last week? Was it UFOs?

No, no, it was Bigfoot.

Well, you'll learn about Ozzie.

He's a good boy.

A leprechaun.

That's a good one.

I'm coming! Here's the shotgun!

Take it!

Kill him! Kill him!

Yeah!

Ozzie, hurry up!

- Get this thing off me!

- Ozzie, get Alex on the porch!

- Come on, boy.

- I don't want to go to the porch!

Okay!

He went off through the bushes.

God! Nathan,

that was no f***ing bear.

My God. It's gone.

God, Nathan, your leg. Look at it.

Oh, my God! Okay,

we gotta call a paramedic.

Oh, I took care of it. I called them,

told them we needed the army

and... and the medicine

and a paramedic.

Ozzie... Ozzie, y-you didn't tell them

that it was a leprechaun, did you?

Of course I did.

That's what it was, wasn't it?

- Okay. Okay. All right.

- Oh, geez.

All right. We just gotta get him

back to the house. Come on.

Sh*t! The line's dead.

- Alex, you a member of the Boy Scouts?

- Cub Scouts.

Good enough. Okay,

you gotta help me with this.

We gotta stop the bleeding.

Ozzie, go to the bathroom,

get everything you can:

tissue, alcohol, cotton.

Tory, did that thing look...

look like a leprechaun to you?

- Ozzie, go!

- Come on, man.

You're gonna be okay, Nathan.

Okay. So, as soon as

we stop the bleeding,

we're gonna take Nathan

out to the pickup.

But what if that thing

is still out there?

No way. I shot it. I put six

rounds into that thing.

- Yeah. It's gotta be dead.

- Yeah.

All right. Alex, go the fridge.

Get me some ice.

It'll stop the swelling

on Nathan's leg.

Alex, get the door.

Come on.

Hurry up and get him out of here!

I don't see him.

- Where is the old guy?

- Hurry.

- Come on. Be careful.

- Hold on, Nathan.

- Need help?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Oh, God. Do you see him?

- Oh, God, that hurts.

- Almost there.

Hurry up! Get him in the truck!

- What if he comes?

- Hurry up. Hurry up. Get in.

Thanks.

Nathan!

- Okay. We made it.

- Yeah.

- What's wrong with the truck?

- Oh, no!

- Sh*t!

- The distributor cap.

- Alex, be careful.

- Yeah.

Hurry!

- Let me in!

- Hurry! Get in!

- Close the door!

- Roll up the window! Hurry!

- Roll it up! Roll it up!

- I'm rolling! I'm rolling!

Come on out and play, me friends!

Get away! Get away!

No!

Come on!

Burn and die, you monster!

My... My ear! He... He got my ear!

Hey, chill!

What the heck is he doing in there?

Ring around the rosie,

a pocket full of posies

Faster! Faster!

No!

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down

Where'd you go, me friends?

I want to know where me gold is.

Give it back to a nice

little harmless leprechaun.

Okay. Let's go. Now.

Where is he?

Where are you going, me friends?

Hurry!

- What are we gonna do now?

- Phone.

- Phone. I gotta call for help.

- The phone is dead.

The phone is dead. Okay. My portable!

Hello? I need the police.

This is an emergency.

Yes. Hello. This is Tory Reding.

I'm calling from the O'Grady farm.

Um, something really

terrible has happened,

and we need you to send

someone out here right away.

Okay. Please hurry.

You've got... Hello?

Damn it! Okay. The battery died.

- Oh, no!

- It's okay.

I got through, and they're

gonna send somebody,

and we're gonna be okay.

It's gonna be fine.

Deputy Tripet, come in.

This is Sheriff Cronin.

Tripet, do you read me?

I read you, Sheriff. Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, yeah, this is Sheriff Cronin.

We got a... a call from over

there at the O'Grady farm.

A female, name of Tory Reding,

called in an emergency.

Get out there on a code-one

priority right away.

Roger, Sheriff.

My ETA is less than three minutes.

- If I need backup, I'll call it in.

- Roger, Tripet.

You got the back door, right?

Right. And the basement

windows are locked up tight.

All right. Now double-check

the windows in the kitchen.

Oh, my ear sure hurts, Tory.

I bet that leprechaun

made a boot out of it.

You're gonna be okay, Ozzie.

He didn't get your ear.

- He just bit it.

- Where the hell are the police?

Well, they should be here by now.

Okay.

All right. Now, I'm gonna have to

make this a little tighter, okay?

Too tight?

No, it's all right. It's all right.

Boy, that leprechaun sure is mean.

It is not a leprechaun, damn it!

Ozzie, now, I admit I don't know

what the hell that thing was,

but it is not a leprechaun.

Do you understand?

Well, what about the

gold in the old rusty car?

Oh, ne-never mind what I just said.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.

What do you...

What do you mean, gold?

Alex.

Tell me, Alex. The gold?

We were gonna save it to get

Ozzie an operation to fix his brain.

Alex, you can't fix Ozzie's brain.

I know that, but he doesn't.

Okay. Okay. Tell me about the gold.

Okay. In the water bucket, right?

Right. Just pull it up,

and there's a bag of gold coins.

Okay. This has gotta work.

If all he wants is his gold,

he's gotta leave us alone.

- Let's go. Come on.

- No, no, no, no.

- No, you're hurt too bad.

- Come on.

- All right, all right.

- Sit down, Nathan.

- Okay, look, take this gun with you, okay?

- Okay.

Just cock it, aim it,

and pull the trigger.

Okay.

You ever work one of

those things before?

Nope.

Watch out for those teeth.

God! Come on. Come on.

- Is that me gold?

- What the hell are you?

I'm a leprechaun, me dear.

Here. This is what

you're looking for, right?

Me powers are returning.

It sounds like me gold.

It looks like me gold.

It smells like me gold.

It tastes like me gold.

Oh, God!

Oh, God! Oh!

Me golden delicious gold.

Be calm. Be calm.

Okay. He took it.

Okay, so he got what he wanted.

Now we can get everybody to

the hospital and, call for help.

It's over.

94...

95...

96...

Oh! 97...

And 98...

and 99...

A missing coin.

I've been tricked.

They've got me coin!

No one takes a leprechaun's gold.

Oh, God. Alex, you gotta

get some ice for Ozzie's ear,

and boil up some water.

I'll cover you.

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