Leprechaun 4: In Space Page #3

He's got to wear

protective clothing.

I can go with him

and show him what to do.

Sergeant, we can't let her

go in there.

I'm the only one who knows how

to run the equipment.

She goes.

I gave you an order.

She goes as far as

the air lock.

Mooch and I go in.

- Yeah.

- All right.

Let's go.

This is the decontamination

chamber.

You'll kill any bacteria

in the air lock.

I'll let you out into

the main chamber from here.

- Got it?

- Yeah, I got it.

- Don't want it, but I got it.

- A walk in the park, right?

- Yeah.

- All right.

Okay, Mooch,

you go that way.

Keep in touch, huh?

Hey, Mooch,

are you all right?

Yeah, I'm just doing great.

Let's head back now.

Nope.

- Oh shoot!

- What's the matter, man?

- My God!

- Talk to me, talk to me.

Books... Books!

I'm all right.

Walked into a shitstorm.

Looks like lubricant.

Probably runoff

from the hydraulic system.

Jesus!

God damn!

Books,

I don't think he's here, man.

Yeah,

I guess you're right.

Let's make our way back.

We've wasted enough time already.

Amen.

Mooch, where are you?

What's happening? Mooch!

Oh, Jesus!

Books!

Books,

what's happening?

I got you.

You'll be okay.

Hang in there, big guy.

Give me the princess and

I'll spare your miserable lives.

Come out,

you little bastard!

Open the door

for decontamination.

Books, are you all right?

It's Mooch.

Oh, my God.

Hey!

I'm sorry.

Do you have an appointment?

Listen,

you pencil-necked geek!

You give me the doctor... now,

before I knock out your teeth

and sh*t down your throat!

Thank you,

I've already had my lunch.

Funny.

Dr. Mittenhand...

something wants

to talk to you.

Gentlemen, ladies.

I've been expecting you.

I have been tracking

your activities.

I understand that

the creature we are after

has offered to spare us

any more difficulty

if we simply give him the beautiful

princess now resting in my lab.

Yes, sir.

Since we've lost three men already,

it might be a good idea.

I don't agree,

Sergeant.

The princes is part of

a very important

scientific experiment.

If that means killing that creature

out there, so be it.

Those are my orders.

Harold, show them out.

Dismissed!

Sit your ass down,

Harold.

Sir, with all due respect,

we're not going anywhere.

You refuse to obey me?

I'm not gonna risk

the lives of my men

so you can fart around

with test tubes and formulas.

I say we give her up and we can

all get out of here in one piece.

You dare to defy me?!

In a couple of hours

our contract's up!

When that clock strikes

midnight,

we're climbing

in our shuttle

and we're headed

for home.

I think not, Sergeant.

Let's get out of here!

No one leaves this ship

without my permission.

No one!

Yeah, right!

- Holy sh*t.

- Oh, my God.

Dr. Mittenhand,

you look much taller...

in person.

Thank you, Harold.

I'll do the jokes.

So, I am not what

you expected.

No matter.

Don't look quite so horrified,

Doctor.

I'm still the seductively brilliant

and powerful man I was before.

Rather like

the Wizard of Oz,

I always think,

running things from behind

a curtain.

The only difference,

gentlemen,

is that this wizard

is not a fake!

In spite of my appearance,

I'm quite capable

of running this ship

and everything on it.

Make no mistake.

I am in command!

You will do as I say.

We have a contract, Sergeant,

do we not?

Yes.

Your time is up,

it is true.

But subparagraph four

states I have the power

to extend your contract

in the event of an emergency.

And that is what

I'm going to do!

If you disobey my orders...

and refuse to carry them out,

you will be tried for mutiny

and I promise you,

you will be shot!

Lf, on the other hand,

you follow my orders,

and manage to kill

this creature,

I will arrange

a very generous bonus

for each of you.

How much?

Say one hundred times

what you're being paid now.

- Sounds good to me.

- I'm in.

You can count me in.

But I'm not doing it for the money.

I'm doing this for Kowalski.

Books?

I'm a Marine, Sarge.

You want me to stay,

I'll stay.

Anybody who stays

becomes a shareholder...

of everything you make

on this deal.

And we want 5%

of the gross...

of everything you bring

out of that cave.

Anything over 50 million,

we get another point

as a bonus.

Two and a half percent

of the mineral rights.

That's net, not gross.

No bonus.

Four percent.

No deal without the bonus.

- Three percent with the bonus.

- Done!

I'll have the papers

drawn up.

One more thing.

If I lose any more of my troop,

your ass is grass!

If you've even got an ass!

Let's go!

Call me if you need me.

Sticks...

- you and Danny take the sub-levels.

- Yes, sir.

- Books...

- Sir?

You and Cupcake take the engine room

and everything around it.

- Delores...

- Sarge?

You're with me.

Stay close. Stay in touch,

and use your locators

to track that alien.

Move out!

Good lads,

stouthearted and brave.

Seems almost a pity

to kill them.

But the path to power is often

soiled with innocent blood

and I will let nothing

stop me from becoming a king.

I'll have power and glory...

and a beautiful queen

to share it with.

"Share. "

There's a word that lies

crooked upon me.

The very sound of it sets

my teeth to grate.

Conjures up pictures of me gold

being carted off

to pay for feminine

pleasures,

leaving me with less than

what I want.

And what I want is everything.

I'll wed her,

bed her, and bury her,

all in the same day.

Ha ha!

I wonder if her father will pay

for the wedding and the funeral.

- What's wrong?

- It ain't working.

Sh*t!

- Sarge, you there?

- Yeah.

Our locator isn't working,

so if anybody spots him...

All right.

- Ready?

- Listen close, man.

- Let's sit this one out.

- Say what?

We find a nice, safe place to

hold up till they catch the bastard.

We collect our bonus

and go home.

Why risk our lives for that maniac,

Dr. Mittenhand?

Did you get a look

at that guy?

He ain't hardly human.

This isn't about him.

It's about us sticking

together and doing our job.

I ain't taking any chances,

you understand?

Move your ass, Danny.

You wait here.

I'll check out the next level.

I'll go first.

I'm ready to proceed, Doctor.

I've got a sample of her blood.

Ahem...

Gentle.

Sorry.

I am brilliant!

- Hey, Sarge?

- Yeah?

You don't think Kowalski's

gettin' killed was my fault, do you?

What do you mean?

I mean, I'm the one

who gave him a boner.

Forget about it. Kowalski

would have wanted it that way.

He was a Marine.

Come to think of it,

when it's my time to go...

I hope I'm standing tall

like he was.

Really?

Lordy, Mr. Daniels,

it sure be dark in here.

Laugh it up, wise guy.

Won't be so funny when that bastard

shoves a laser up your ass.

A laser up my ass?

Come on, feets, don't fail me now!

Come on, Mr. Daniels.

Dick.

Got him.

Sarge?

Yeah.

- He's here.

- Where are you?

Engine room.

Everyone copy that?

Sticks? Danny?

Getting nothing.

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