Les femmes sont folles Page #7

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She wrote a letter

mentioning you.

Really ?

- Here's my card.

- Here's his, I mean MINE.

Don't worry, we'll be meeting.

- A gentleman wishes to see you right away.

- More ?...what's his name ?

- The Green Monkey.

- Damn !...Patrick's publisher.

Get out, you can't be here.

He's allowed to see

his publisher.

- He's not interested.

- He belongs to ME !

Don't push, there'll be

something for everyone.

- Through here sir.

- Who are you sir ?

- The Green Monkey.

- I thought you'd look different.

-I'm disappointed.

-I'm Patrick's publisher.

Here he is.

- I'm going to settle accounts with him.

- Me too.

A publisher who settles accounts !

- You're Robert Patrick?

- So they say.

And I'm Ingrid Bergman.

No ! Really ?

Since you're foreign,

we'll have to resolve it between Frenchmen.

Very well.

Do you know what this sort of behaviour

is called ?

- Neither do I.

- Congratulations.

- This could cost you dearly.

- Has he gone off with YOUR wife ?

- No.

- At least...not yet.

Maybe we're a pair of

wronged husbands.

No question about it.

My wife's above suspicion.

They're the most dangerous ones.

Poor Mr Green Monkey.

Are you going to leave it alone

about my wife ?

- He's an imposter.

- "lmposter"?

I wanted to wait for just the right moment

to present my author.

And now this low-life phoney

put paid to that.

Poor old Green Monkey.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

Oops, sorry.

- To the right.

- Can't we see this room ?

I'll start with the boardroom.

Let's have a round of billiards

to calm our nerves.

No, none of that.

The newspapers are onto it.

- I'm famous !

- Shut up ! We've got enough of a mess.

-...and with photos.

- Photos of Robert.

No, it's the imposter.

That won't fool anyone.

You see your writer at risk,

so you try and save him,

but that won't fool anyone.

- Oh, you clown,

- Dry up !

- "Dry up" to a captain?

Here's my card.

Take him on before me.

I've already had a fight.

Listen, Captain,

we'll hand the imposter over to you,

but leave us,

I've got problems to sort out.

- Your wife's deceived you, of course.

"Of course" !...take back that word

or Ill slap your face !

Slap Captain Cabriac?

Here's my card.

Here's mine.

You'll hear from me.

No rush.

This has caused me major injury.

Give him your card.

You can't let him insult you.

Give him your card.

Enjoy it, I still have a few more.

This is the captains card.

Me too...strange.

Come on, let's get serious

and play some billiards,

or better still some bridge.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

I finished in the boardroom.

Last in shut the door.

You're going to be able to admire

a representative work

of the minor 18th century masters.

I want a word...

- If it's about my card...

- Let's talk about it,

about what you've been up to,

you phoney.

- Just doing a favour.

- Shut up !

I saw you with Marguerite.

- Listen, Gaston.

- Shut up !

- You're a low-down cad !

- Manners, please, Gaston !

You can't talk like that.

He is a traitor...

and Marguerite's a slut .

- My daughter ?

- I'm talking about my wife.

- That I know as my daughter.

That hasn't stopped her

deceiving me.

- Impossible.

- They were embracing right before my eyes !

You think it's funny ?

He told me wanted to stay

because he loved you.

- Is that true ?

- Yes.

Oh, that's wonderful.

No jealousy at the Robilleau's !

Wife, daughter...

anything goes !

Calm down, you see he's overwhelmed.

And laughing at me.

And laughing at Captain Cabriac.

I'm old enough to understand.

I don't understand,

but I'm happy.

That takes the cake !

What about you...are you in 7th heaven ?

Why not ?

But I'd also like to understand.

So to sum up, this gentleman

isn't Robert Patrick.

You have a sharp mind.

Would you like to explain ?

You've got a lot of explaining to do, too.

It's not nice, not saying anything.

It wouldn't have been very smart.

- So you know...

- Yes.

Do you also know that I... ah...

- I think I know.

- What luck !

Here am I dreaming of marrying

an intelligent woman.

- So things worked out well.

- Very well.

- It's a woman this time.

- If she's visiting,

excuse us,

things are a bit frantic.

Bravo, old boy, bravo.

I read the stories in the paper.

- I'm famous.

- Shush !

There's been a development.

I'd nothing to do with

those articles.

Come off it, don't play modest.

- It's great publicity.

- Who are you ?

May I present Robert Patrick.

And this was my big

publicity secret.

My novelist is a woman.

- You've run off with my wife ?

- Who do you think I am ?

Robert Patrick's gone off with my wife.

I need to understand.

- I'm waiting for an answer.

- But so am I.

It's a fine sort of world,

the writing game !

You wouldn't see it in the navy.

I think your wife's fooled you.

Fooled Captain Cabriac?

Don't make me laugh.

Nobody knew Robert Patrick.

It was to throw you off the track.

She's probably run off

with the school-teacher.

- So it's perfect.

- Is that what you think ?

I mean your game.

That pig....It's a fine sort of world,

the teaching game !

You wouldn't see it in the navy.

Pig ! Wronged...I've been wronged !

- Would you lie to sit down ?

- Certainly. Thank you.

Through here, ladies and gentlemen.

Beg pardon, but I finished the gallery.

You're going to be able to admire the pen

that Jean-Jacques Rousseau

signed his famous Social Contract with.

- They don't need me any more.

- Say au revoir.

Certainly not.

They'll take me at my word..

"The fake Robert Patrick will live a true love story."

It's my photo,

I'm famous.

What's there to sell now?

We can go back to Rousseau's pen.

Here's your first customers.

Go to it.

Through here, ladies and gentlemen

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