Liberal Arts Page #2

I'm just happy you go to class

occasionally.

I thought maybe you just

improvised all day long.

Nope.

I mean, I do, I guess.

Have you ever thought

about that?

About what?

How everything in life

is basically improvised?

There's no script.

We're just making this up

as we go.

That's true.

So yeah.

Well, improv is deep, man.

- Well, we're about to head out.

- Oh.

- Pleasure to meet you, Jesse.

- Yeah, yeah, you too.

Take care.

Bye.

So I'll-

I'll see you around, I guess.

- Yeah, yeah, see you around.

- Okay.

It was nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

- See you later.

- Okay, bye.

Enjoy college.

You wearing a tie tonight?

Huh?

What can you say, really?

People get up and say

all this great stuff about you.

You know, I'm thinking,

"Who in the hell

are they talking about?"

It's just,

where does the time go?

This seems impossible.

37 years.

There comes a time

in a man's life

when it hurts to do the math.

You know, I worry

that I've been here so long

that I'll be lousy

being anyplace else.

Oh, well, I guess I'll find out

very shortly.

Um, hey, thanks for the chicken.

It was a little cold,

but still I...

Think nice thoughts about me

when I'm gone,

if you can.

No, they did it at Macalester.

I really think

it could work here.

Well, it sounds great.

I tell you,

let's talk about it on Monday.

Oh, sure.

Night, Jesse.

Yeah, good night.

It's a good idea, though.

It's a terrible idea.

Oh, what a disaster.

Whatno, it was nice.

You're not half the liar

you used to be.

You know, it really means

a lot to me

that you came out for this.

How could I miss it?

You're the second best teacher

I had here.

I'm serious.

I'm gonna take off.

Well, I'll come with you.

Oh, no, no, no, you stay.

I want to be alone for a bit.

I feel you, man.

A lot of information in trees.

Uh...

How's your night going?

Fine.

Is your name...

Ethan?

No.

Why?

You look like an Ethan to me.

My name's not Ethan.

How cool would that have been

if that was your name

and I just, like...

Knew it?

Are you a student here?

Uh, no,

but thank you for thinking that.

You?

Nah, man.

I'm just here

visiting a buddy of mine.

But it's not a bad place

to kill a little time, huh?

I'm Nat.

I'm Jesse.

Do you hear that music, Ethan?

It sounds like a celebration.

I say we do

a little sherlocking,

find out where it's coming from

and what's going on.

- No-

- Don't say no.

Fortune never smiles

on those who say no.

Everybody get on the floor

Everybody wanna uh-uh-uh

Everybody get on the floor

Everybody wanna uh-uh-uh

Everybody get...

I would get you a beer,

but alcohol's for suckers, man.

Uh, yeah.

Listen, Nat, this isn't really

my scene anymore.

I'm gonna...

Give yourself five minutes

to adapt, my brother.

Change is never easy.

Tell me this.

What are your thoughts

on crop circles?

Uh, I don't have any.

There's some seriously weird

sh*t going on, bro.

You think it's just a bunch

of drunk English guys

with planks and rope?

You're a fool.

Mmhmm.

Spend some time

with those patterns.

You can feel it.

Something's trying

to communicate with us.

It should be on the front page

of every paper every day.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hey!

I thought that was you.

- Hi.

- How'd you end up here?

He made a friend.

Yeah, yeah, I-yeah.

Look at you.

You're, like, back in college.

Whee!

How does it feel?

Oh, this is Vanessa.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- I'm Nat.

- Hey.

Jesse's an alum.

We had brunch this morning.

I think my mom has

a little crush on him.

You went here?

I did, yeah.

When'd you graduate?

Oh, man, it was, uh, the '90s.

That was when we were born.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm old.

But you look good.

And you're overdressed.

Hotter, sweeter, taller...

That's better.

Hotter, sweeter

Why do I like this guy so much?

Because he's likable.

Hey, let's get you guys

some drinks.

Yeah, no, I think I'm gonna-

I'm gonna take off.

No, you should stay.

No, really, I should go.

- Do you drink coffee?

- Yeah.

What?

That's crazy.

So does my friend here.

You two, tomorrow.

Shoop!

Coffee.

Yeah, I could do that.

You want to?

Um, I-yeah, uh, yeah.

That'd be-that's great.

9:
00 okay?

Oh.

Oh, you're serious.

Is 11:
30 okay?

Yeah, that works.

Hey.

Hi.

Can we talk?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure, okay.

See you tomorrow?

Yeah, yeah.

See you then.

Okay.

Hey, Vanessa.

Don't sweat that guy.

She only had eyes for you.

Okay.

Good night, Nat.

Good night, Ethan.

Can I help you?

Sorry.

I just...

just the best book of all time.

I just like holding it,

I guess.

Best book of all time?

Well, one of them, sure.

Have you ever noticed

how everyone around here

speaks in wild hyperbole?

Everything's the best.

Like,

"He's the best professor ever,"

or, "This is the best patty melt

on the planet,"

as if they've sampled

every possible variety

of professor and patty melt,

which is, as we know,

logistically impossible.

Okay.

All right, do we have

enough time for that?

- Hey.

- Hey.

Am I super late?

Uh, no.

You want a coffee?

No, I'll just drink yours.

You okay?

I don't know yet.

I smell like beer.

Do you smell that?

Yeah, actually, you do.

II need to excuse myself

just...

just for a...

Sorry about that.

Back there.

You walked away,

and I was just wondering

why I was being rude to someone

who loves the same writer I do.

And I don't have an answer

for that.

Okay.

Okay, so yeah, um,

I'll just...

My grades tanked senior year.

That book was the only thing

I wanted to read.

You liking it?

Uh, yeah.

It's my second time reading it,

actually.

Wow.

That's impressive.

It's not short.

Yeah, I know.

You know, he said

the purpose of fiction

was to combat loneliness.

That's good.

I never heard that.

Yeah.

Well, on the other hand,

spending most of your time

with an 1,100-page book

tends to put a dent

in your social life.

Yeah.

Loneliness simultaneously

increased and decreased.

Hey.

What, you guys know each other?

Yeah, we had Symbolic Logic

first semester.

Zibby.

Right.

Dean, hi.

- Hey.

- I'm Jesse, by the way.

Okay.

Hmm.

Interesting guy.

Yeah.

I can't believe

he's even back here.

Why?

What do you mean?

He had a manic episode

last year.

Eventually, they took him

to a hospital

and, I don't know,

calmed him down, I guess.

He's supposed to be, like,

the smartest guy ever.

Everything okay?

Yeah, everything's great.

I puked.

Oh.

That's gross.

Sorry, you did not need

to hear that.

Come on, let's-let's walk.

My parents really liked you.

Oh.

That's nice.

I like them.

You're really lucky

to have parents like that.

Like what?

Like, I don't know.

Around, first of all.

Still together so they

can fret over you as a team.

Yeah, I guess.

I like them best when they're

not being so parental,

which is, like, 1% of the time.

Oh, I thought

of this great trick

for having them annoy me less.

Want to hear it?

Okay.

Okay, I decided

to treat my parents

like they're always drunk.

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