Liberal Arts Page #3

No, really, it works.

Any time they say something

irritating or offensive,

I'm just like,

"Oh, I can't get mad at them.

They're drunk.

It's not their fault."

And why should I take advice

from drunk people seriously?

That's great.

Do you like classical music?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, I took this

music survey class last year.

Oh, my God!

It totally changed my life.

I'm really happy

I ran into you last night.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

It's random.

Who was that guy?

What guy?

Thelast night, that guy.

Oh, his name is Eric.

Eric.

Is Eric your fella?

No.

No.

You know, I think I like almost

everything about this place

but the dude situation.

Not great?

No one, like, dates.

Everyone's so casual

about it all.

Same as when I was here.

Yeah.

I guess there's part of me

that's a little old-fashioned.

Well, on behalf

of all current and former

18- to 22-year-olds,

I'd like to apologize.

Forgive us.

Seriously.

We know not what we do.

I think one of the things

I loved the most

about being here

was the feeling

that anything was possible.

It's just infinite choices

ahead of you.

You'd get out of school,

and anything could happen.

And then you do get out, and...

life happens, you know?

Decisions get made.

And then all those many choices

you had in front of you

are no longer really there.

At a certain point,

you just got to go,

"Oh, I guess

this is how it's going down."

And there's just something

a little depressing about that.

Well, don't you think you're

romanticizing youth a bit much?

You know, 'cause it's

just as hard and annoying

to be young as it is to be old,

I'm assuming.

Not that you're old,

'cause, you know, you're not.

Look, I get the whole

"we're all equal" argument,

and it's kind of true,

but it's also kind of not true.

Like, okay, I feel different now

than I felt when I was here,

and I hate to break this to you,

but so will you.

So you're saying things suck?

I should prepare myself

for suckiness?

No, a liberal arts education

solves all your problems.

Thank God!

Worth every penny.

We should hug.

What?

I mean, we could keep talking,

but I think it would be better

if we hugged.

Come on.

Okay.

Who starts?

I do.

- Okay.

- Here we go.

God, so you were here

a long time ago.

Whoa, okay.

- I mean-

- Enough, enough.

That's-I mean, I just mean

because I thought,

with the greenhouses...

Hey, before you go, I thought

you might like these,

'cause I don't really need 'em

anymore and, uh, here.

Ooh.

Look at this one.

Huh?

No?

Nah.

Oh, please,

that's a great shirt.

You know the trouble I caused

in this shirt?

I can only imagine.

You got no taste

on top of everything else.

Oh, my God,

what a beautiful shirt.

Not giving it to you anyway.

All right.

Oh, it feels great!

Hello?

Oh, hi.

No, no, he's-he's still here.

Yeah, hold on.

Zibby.

Hello?

You haven't left yet.

- Uh, no.

- Good.

I need to see you before you go.

Will you meet me

at the bookstore?

Say yes.

Yes.

Okay.

She's asking

about a book I recommended.

Hmm.

- All right, I'm off.

- Okay.

Be a gentleman.

Walk me to my car.

All right, all right.

Thanks for the shirts.

I'll get them next time, okay?

Yeah, you'll be on the road,

and you'll be saying,

"Oh, maybe I'll call him up."

- Hey.

- Hey.

Sorry, I don't want

to hold you up or anything,

but I, um...

I made this for you.

Burned it, whatever.

Um, it's music

from the survey class

I was telling you about.

- Oh.

- Classical, baroque, opera.

Wow.

This is great.

I know none of this.

Who says we always

have to be listening

to obscure indie bands, right?

Right.

So, um, yeah, I don't know.

This is all music I never

thought I'd like or care about,

and this class just...

well, you know how you can be

told something so many times

and it's like, "Whatever,"

and then you have

a great teacher

take you through it,

and suddenly it's like,

"Beethoven, whoa."

Yeah.

This is really great.

Thank you.

I wish I had come

with something for you.

Well, you know

what you could do?

You could write me a letter.

I could do that.

Handwritten, I mean,

like with a pen or something.

- Ooh.

- Yeah, paper.

Maybe seal it

with some red wax.

I could listen to this

while I'm writing.

Right, it'll be like

full-on 17th century.

Right, right.

So, um,

I don't have your address.

Oh, 108 is my P.O. box,

and you can figure out the rest,

right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I also-I put my number

on the inside of the case.

Yes, you did.

You know, in case you ever...

whatever.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

- Well...

- Well...

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.

Professor Fairfield.

Uh, Jesse Fisher.

I, um...

I took your British

Romantic literature class

when I was here as a student.

And?

And I loved it.

Great.

Hey, Dean.

I know it's bad for you.

Just quit when you graduate,

like everyone else.

Sweet ride.

You jerk.

It's a rental.

I'm not the best at flying.

I can understand that.

Where you headed?

Back to my dorm.

Get in.

I'll give you a lift.

So you went here, right?

I did.

You liked it?

A lot.

I mean, you block out

the bad memories...

writing a senior thesis,

February.

Yeah, February here sucks.

Yeah, it's horrible.

So other than February,

things are good for you here?

I wouldn't say that.

You want to-you can tell me

about it if you want.

Well, um, it's not exactly

a secret.

Last year, I kind of, um,

lost my mind a bit.

I don't really remember

much of it,

but apparently I got up to

some pretty amusing antics.

So now they've got me

on this pretty heavy stuff,

which I guess

allows me to function,

but it also makes

everything seem underwater,

which is not as pleasant

as it sounds.

Why'd you come back?

My mom's a nurse.

She raised me on her own.

I got a full ride.

She's...

so proud I'm here.

Thanks for the lift.

"Dear Zibby,

I can't thank you enough

"for introducing me

to this music.

"Beyond just genuinely

loving it,

"I feel it's quietly altering

my feeling about New York City,

"with which I've always had

"a slightly conflicted

relationship.

"I've found that if you replace

the horns and the shouting

"with, say, Schubert

or Telemann,

"the city becomes

unbearably beautiful.

"After years of thinly disguised

rage on both our parts,

"it's like the music has

mediated a truce between us.

"Some early favorites.

"Massenet's Meditation.

"If a more beautiful piece

of music has ever been composed,

"I don't know it.

"That Brandenburg concerto

is no joke,

"and I echo your sentiment

regarding Beethoven.

"Whoa.

"I have no idea

"what the Vivaldi piece

from Giustino is actually about,

"but to me,

it suggests deception,

"some kind of elegant

double-crossing.

"It makes me feel like

I'm a double agent

"knee deep in some kind of

sexy espionage.

"I've decided the Wagner

overture you included

"should come

with a warning label.

"According to

some quick online research,

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