License to Wed Page #3

- Sure.

- Sadie.

Why do you love her?

There's just so many reasons, you know?

She's beautiful, inside and out.

So, I'm lucky.

What do you mean by "inside"?

You meant spiritually, right?

Yep. Exactly.

Okay. What else?

She's just smart, you know?

She's motivated, she's well-organized.

She's probably

the hardest worker I know.

Well, let me get this straight, then.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

First thing you like about her is her looks.

But you really think...

- ... she's a cute control freak.

- I didn't say that.

- I know what you're getting at.

- "Organized" is code for OCD.

OCD is a-

God!

Oh, my Lord.

- You okay, big fella?

- Yeah.

Oh, yeah?

- How you doing-

- Totally fine.

Let's see that. Come on.

Oh, no. That's bad.

I'm gonna have to heal you.

- No, that's okay.

- No. I'm gonna have to heal you.

- I just need Advil.

- It's healing time. Stay down.

Stay down. It's healing time.

- What's that mean?

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, Lord, surround him

with your light and grace.

Lord have mercy!

- The power of Christ compels you!

- Lord have mercy.

The power of Christ compels you!

- We have got to pray!

- Pray!

- We have got to pray!

- Pray!

We have got to pray to make it

through the day!

Is that MC Hammer?

- You're healed, right?

- Let me see. Let me see.

- No, it's still bleeding.

- Let's go old school.

Begone, demon spirit!

Begone!

- That's not helping at all.

- Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Lord, take him up upon your wing-

- Wait, take me where?

- If you believed, you'd be healed.

- Do you believe?

- Believe!

- Believe!

- I'm healed, I'm healed, I'm healed.

- Oh, it's a miracle! It's a miracle!

- It is. It is.

You're not healed.

I'm not a doctor, I'm a pastor.

You know what you need?

Advil and ice. Come on.

- Check him out, just see that he's okay.

- The nasal septum and concha are clear.

- Good news, kid. Your nose is fine.

- Yeah, come on. Let me buy you a Coke.

Sorry about that.

You know, I have to try that stuff.

- Never works, but what if it had?

- Yeah.

- Wouldn't that be crazy?

- Crazy.

It was great.

Yes, totally.

Reverend Frank is the best.

Listen, tomorrow night, I was th-

Group counseling for what?

Okay, like we do every week.

Danny, pick up Tenika

and carry her across that threshold.

Yeah, that's it!

Try and think of it like the first time.

For a lot of you,

that wasn't the honeymoon.

Yeah, baby. Come on, Jim.

My back is giving out.

Don't focus on the pain.

Look at the love that

Janine's giving you right now.

And if that doesn't work,

think about potato skins.

God, I love potato skins.

A husband will do anything

for appetizers.

Yes.

Everybody, I want to introduce you

to two new members.

This is Ben and Sadie.

They're getting married in three weeks.

Ben, why don't you carry Sadie

across the threshold?

Come on.

Come on. Yeah, come on.

Yeah, there you go.

Get across that threshold!

Hurry.

- Oh, great.

- Look.

Got it.

Tonight...

...we learn how to fight fairly.

Sorry.

What if we've never had a fight before?

- Seriously think I'm gonna puke.

- Louise, no puking.

They're young.

They're allowed to be enthusiastic.

Never had a fight,

it's about time you had one.

So please, step up

to the top of the circle.

Come on, get your butts up there!

Let's get this perfect relationship

on its feet.

Put it to the test. Okay.

I want you to imagine.

You're driving in the mountains.

It's nighttime.

But there's a torrential downpour.

That thing with the wipers like this:

You're tired. You're lost.

You're getting cranky.

What was that?

You got a flat tire

because you just hit a pothole.

Instant argument potential.

What do you do? How do you handle it?

I think we'd probably just call AAA.

Out of cell phone range.

Can't use the cell phone. Can't call AAA.

You gotta handle it the old-fashioned way.

You gotta change the tire.

You're pissed at each other. Go.

Sorry I didn't see that pothole.

It's okay, honey.

Accidents happen,

so just be more careful next time.

- Promise I will.

- Cut!

You guys travel medicated?

That was like "Prozac Takes a Vacation. "

That's not what we're looking for.

Janine, why don't you and Jimbo show

them how this argument should play out?

Sure.

Hey, jackass!

I told you to take Route 45,

but again, you didn't listen!

Now it's pissing down outside

and we're stuck God only knows where.

Yeah, well, if we hadn't

left three hours late...

...because someone was talking

to her ball-busting mother on the phone...

...well, then, maybe we wouldn't

be in this position!

You are a sad, sad man.

You will not emasculate me anymore.

- Go to hell!

- No, you go to hell, Janine.

- Go to hell.

- Okay. Cut.

Everybody, Jim and Janine.

We're gonna try something

a little different now.

We're gonna do role reversal.

All right.

Sadie, I want you to be Ben.

Ben, I want you to be Sadie.

Come on. Step up there.

Come on, get up! Yeah!

- Oh, gosh.

- Come on.

You're gonna change the tire.

Ben, tire's down here.

You're down in that muck.

Here's your lug wrench.

The lugs are right here.

But they're tight.

They're rusty, they're old, all right?

You can't get them off and you're angry...

...and you're cold, and you really-

You wanna tear each other apart.

Go.

Don't you wish

we were in cell-phone range?

Then we could just call

AAA like we always do.

- Yeah, I don't know how we got so lost.

- I don't either.

Ben, maybe we wouldn't

have gotten lost...

...if you had just followed the TripTik

that I prepared three days in advance.

Well, I thought that I was following

the road signs pretty well.

Just going with the flow, as usual.

What was that?

What was that last thing?

I'm just going along for the ride.

Who was? You. As me.

Well, I'm not really sure

how anything gets done...

...if people aren't following my

very specific instructions, Ben.

But I love it when you're in charge.

That way I don't have to

take too much responsibility, Sadie.

Ben, don't you know that that's the only

way things get done around here?

That's how things get done around here?

Good.

I had no idea.

- Thank you.

- Want me to show you?

- He said counter-

- I think I have it under control!

Dear Jesus!

- Potato skins down!

- Jim, Jim-

Come on, everybody!

Five-second rule!

Janine!

Okay.

We'll pick up next week...

...with balancing

the joint checking account.

So are you writing your vows later or...?

No, I finished earlier.

Hey, what color white should we

go with for the napkins?

There's ivory...

...and timid.

Ivory.

I don't know, I kind of feel like it might

clash with the pistachio in the centerpieces.

All right, well, you know what?

I'll just ask Carlisle tomorrow.

Yeah, you know who else you could ask?

Reverend Frank.

Because he loves giving his opinion.

Why do you say it like that?

I don't know. Maybe because...

- ... he's just a little bit-

- Knowledgeable.

- Yeah.

- "Intrusive. " I was gonna go with intrusive.

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