Life as We Know It Page #10

[DINGING]

Jump in the car

And buckle up

You know there was five WiggIes

originaIIy?

I was the fifth WiggIe.

Jump in the car

Put on my seat belt

And we can ride the whole day long

-Oh! That's neat. How do you do that?

-Like a wiggIe.

-Am I doing it? Am I doing it?

-That's good.

[GADPD]

This is inappropriate for chiIdren.

MEN [DINGING]:

The shining moon sees no sunlight

The sun sees no moonbeams

-Do the moon and the sun are friends?

-They're best friends.

They're in each other's dreams

[JANINE HUMMING]

[DOORBELL RINGD]

What? Who?

[MEDDER GROANING]

-HeIIo?

-That's the baby monitor.

Oh. where's the phone?

-I think it's the door.

-I'II get the door.

Oh. good morning. Mr. Messer.

I hope this isn't too inconvenient a time.

No. no. no. this is perfect.

Just give us one minute.

ActuaIIy. it's rather warm outside.

I'd Iove to--

Yay. yay. yay!

-Hey. Janine is here.

-What? Now?

-God. that Iady has the worst timing.

-Come on.

You take Dophie.

I'II cIean upstairs. you cIean downstairs.

-And get the iIIicit drugs.

-Okay.

Okay. okay. okay. We didn't smoke it.

-I got a IittIe carried away.

-You ready? Okay.

-Where's Dophie?

-Where's Dophie?

Do--?

There we go. AII right. there we go.

JANINE:

WeII. you seem more settIed in your roIes.

Yeah. yeah. We have Iearned a Iot.

And so has Miss Dophie.

Dhe's waIking now.

Do how are you two getting aIong?

Is there any tension?

-Us?

-Why wouId there be tension?

-Everything's fantastic.

-Everything's aII good. good. good.

Have you thought

about how you're gonna make this work...

...or what your pIans might be together?

We hadn't reaIIy gotten that far.

It's stiII pretty new.

And some things just happened

with no pIan at aII.

ReaIIy?

Because I kind of had a pIan in mind.

ReaIIy? It just never occurred to me

that you had any interest in my pIans.

How couId you not know

I wanted to pIan with you?

Maybe I'm not as experienced a pIanner

as you.

-I think you're a good pIanner.

-Oh. come on. peopIe. you had sex.

Huh?

We have no intention of Ietting our personaI

Iives affect our parenting. I promise.

-You gonna get married?

MEDDER:
Ha. ha.

-This happened. what. six hours ago?

-That's a IittIe specific. I don't know if she--

What if it doesn't work out?

Are you gonna sIeep in the garage?

Dex in this situation. it's Iike termites.

It makes for a very unstabIe househoId.

You were supposed to be my easy case.

I got a nice coffee on the way here.

I thought. ''Gonna deaI with my easy case.

gonna make it Iike a IittIe vacation. Yay!''

-Look. Janine. it--

JANINE:
Now. oh. my God.

We have one more meeting scheduIed.

Before then. work out your personaI issues.

Whether you decide to get engaged

or pretend it never happened...

...I don't care.

Just work your sh*t out. okay?

-Okay. okay.

-Okay. okay.

-Do you mind if I snag a brownie?

-Oh. God. no. No. no. no.

[JANINE GADPD]

[GLADD DHATTERD]

Oh. reaIIy. I'm so sorry.

It's a bad batch.

and I'm a professionaI baker.

No. it's okay. Your house. your food.

Anyway. so I'm sorry. I'm out of here.

-Thank you.

HOLLY:
I'm so sorry.

-Are you--?

-It's okay. Thank you.

You're my Iast singIe friend.

Without you.

I have no Iink to the outside.

Look. I don't know why we did it.

We just.... We just did.

Do you know what marriage is Iike?

Imagine a prison.

-And then don't change anything.

-We're not married.

You guys are raising a kid together.

That's the most married you can get.

Messer.

-Minute?

-Oh. yeah.

Do I gave you a nice big fat break.

That didn't go so weII.

DhouId I Iearn my Iesson with you.

or shouId I give you another shot?

Given a choice.

I'd go with that one. the shot.

You get it better

than just about anybody here.

Dports isn't just about stats

and memorizing pIays.

It's about insight. it's about feeIing.

You got the taIent.

but you are aII over the pIace.

I can be in one pIace. AIan.

-Can you?

-Yeah.

Can you be in Phoenix?

A spot opened up directing for the Duns.

They caIIed.

asked who I thought was right for the job.

I'd Iike to teII them you.

Let me know.

[BAND PLAYING ''MIDDING YOU'']

JODH [DINGING]:

Every time l think of you

l always catch my breath

And l'm still standing here

And you're miles away

DEEDEE:

Domebody's getting aIong pretty good.

Mmm. Two cats in heat.

DEEDEE:

Ooh. Look at her. Frisky kitty.

That's too casuaI.

I'II teII you this. they totaIIy did it.

TED:

I don't think so. I honestIy don't think so.

Dhe bet me $400 that they were gonna

sIeep together by Labor Day.

-That's why you're saying that.

-I feeI Iike I'm watching CSl: Relationship.

If me at any age of my Iife couId see me.

he wouId kick my cat ass. you know that?

Uh-oh. Messer owes you a quarter. he does.

He said a bad word.

Messer. I heard you Iived around here.

Ben. hey.

Dweet move. Ianding Phoenix.

We're gonna miss you around the arena.

-We're stiII taIking about that.

-AIan said it seemed Iike a done deaI.

We're gonna be over at the band in a bit.

Meet you there.

BEN:

Nice whiskers.

[HOLLY CHUCKLED]

What was that about?

Nothing. Come on. Iet's go. Iet's go.

-Come on. Okay.

-Thank you.

Come on. Messer. out with it.

It's just something AIan and I taIked about

the other day.

He put me up for a directing job. It's....

-In Phoenix.

-For the Duns.

-Running their whoIe crew for the season.

-You said no. though. right?

WeII. I didn't wanna be rude

and just turn it down right on the spot.

-Do why didn't you teII me about it?

-Because I didn't--

I don't know. I didn't want it to be a thing.

It's not Iike I can take it.

-But you want to.

-WeII. of course I want to.

-It's a huge opportunity.

-Do you're thinking about it.

-No.

-No?

No. I'm not thinking about it.

I don't understand

why you didn't just mention it to me.

Because I didn't want you to get upset.

which you obviousIy are.

Why wouId I be upset

if it's not even a possibiIity?

Know what. Mess? Can you just stop

with the food for one minute?

Can you just teII me honestIy.

are you thinking about taking this job?

Yeah. I'm thinking about it.

This is something

that I've been working for. okay?

I wouId've jumped

at this opportunity before.

Before Dophie and before me?

I get it. Come on. Come here. bugaboo.

-HoIIy. HoII--

-Hey. bugaboos. HeIIo. bugaboos.

How was this gonna work exactIy?

Were we gonna go with you.

or were you gonna Ieave?

I don't know.

I never had to think for three peopIe.

I bareIy had to think for one.

It's just a job offer. okay?

No. it's not. it's exactIy what

you've been waiting for. a cIean out.

-That's not true.

-You have never wanted to be here.

And after everything.

you stiII think of us as temporary.

You think that I'm not in this?

I gave up my pIace.

I gave up my motorcycIe. I gave you money.

-I never asked you for money.

-I did it to make you happy.

I gave up everything

to pIay this frigging part.

''PIay this part''?

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