Life as We Know It Page #11

That's what this is to you.

WeII. we're Iiving in their house.

we're raising their kid.

We're acting Iike we're married.

but we're not.

-Have you been pretending with Dophie?

-No. I Iove Dophie.

Do just me. then.

You shouId take the job. Messer.

[DOPHIE CRYING]

I know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[DOPHIE CRYING]

I'm coming. Doph.

I'm coming. honey. hoId on.

Okay.

Oh.

I knew you'd be up to your eyebaIIs

in egg whites. so I just grabbed her.

-Thanks.

-There you go.

Good morning. Miss Doph. I missed you.

You sIept so good Iast night.

Can you say ''appIe''?

AppIe.

[IN DLOW VOICE]

Banana.

I aIways sound Iike Antonio Banderas

when I do that.

[IN DLOW VOICE]

Banana.

DAM:

AII right.

I'd Iove to sit and eat.

but I got the Finister twins coming in...

...and if I'm even a minute Iate. they wiII

redecorate my waiting room. again.

-I'II see you Iater?

-Mm-hm.

Wait. take a muffin.

Thanks. Bye. Dophie.

-Bye.

-Bye.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

ANNOUNCER:

And the Phoenix Suns' Steve Nash to a....

Greg. ready that cutaway. RoII it.

Take it.

[DOPHIE CRYING]

[DINGING]

Weirdo

What the hell am l doing here?

HOLLY:

Thank you.

-Thanks.

LONNIE:
Oh. Iook.

Wow.

Oh. Iook at you.

My goodness. you're getting so big.

-Dhe's huge. right?

-That iChat doesn't do her justice.

-''Messer.'' Can you say ''Messer''?

-Oh. good Iuck with that.

-DtiII no ''HoIIy.'' huh?

-Nope.

You know what it's Iike to be outranked

by ''cup.'' ''pooI.'' and ''giraffe''?

Okay. so we are aII set for Monday.

Janine actuaIIy broke tradition

and scheduIed something.

Do you reaIIy did kiII the expansion. huh?

That's too bad.

Yeah. we were Iike this before

and we were fine. so....

AII right. you ready?

Dee you.

-Have fun.

-Okay.

-Hey. Mess?

-Yeah?

I don't know

if you have any pIans or not...

...but. weII. Dam and I

are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner...

...and the neighbors are gonna be there.

They keep asking about you.

so I don't know. maybe you wanna join us.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. what the heII.

-Okay.

-AII right. You're cooking?

-Yes.

-AII right. I'II see you there.

-Great.

Day goodbye. There we go.

[CHUCKLED]

-Mmm.

-You think?

You don't think it needs more nutmeg?

You are no heIp.

[DOORBELL RINGD]

I'II get it.

GARY:

Whoa. settIe down.

-Hey.

-Hi.

-Happy Thanksgiving.

-Yeah. you too.

-I got you a IittIe wine.

-Thanks.

-Nine bucks.

-Wow.

-Where's Doph?

-Dhe's back there.

-Okay.

-Come on in.

-Oh. hey.

-Hi. HeIIo.

-Hi.

TED:
Hey. sport.

-That was a wave to me.

-Okay.

Do. what eIse you maniacs been up to?

Gary and I are taking

a coupIes' karate cIass.

-Wow.

DCOTT:
Fun.

I'm not gonna be around to defend him

aII the time.

-Toughen him up.

-Yeah.

What a great opportunity to get to kick

your spouse in the face once in a whiIe...

...in a controIIed setting

where it's okay and it's expected.

Messer.

-Hey. How you doing. doc?

-Good. good.

-GIad you couId make it.

-Appreciate that.

AIthough. technicaIIy. this is my house.

so I'm gIad you couId make it.

You know. I know this is a IittIe weird.

-No. it's not weird.

-It's a IittIe weird.

The house. we're aII a part of it.

especiaIIy you.

Yeah. we're aII fans of the house.

Hey. dinner today is a great way

for us to say goodbye. right?

TED:

AbsoIuteIy.

I'm sorry. am I missing something?

You're seIIing the house?

-When were you gonna teII me about this?

-After our meeting with CPD.

It's just too big. Messer.

The upkeep's a fortune. You know that.

-I'm paying my haIf.

-I appreciate that. but it's stiII not enough.

You shouId've asked me. HoIIy.

Oh. Iike you asked me

about moving to Phoenix?

You're not seIIing the house.

They wanted her to grow up here.

They wanted you and I to raise her.

but you waIked away from that obIigation.

You sure didn't waste any time

finding somebody eIse.

Are you gonna try to make me feeI bad

because you waIked away?

You wanted to do it on your own.

but you never couId've without me.

That's why seconds after I was gone.

you found RepIacement Messer.

HOLLY:

He is not RepIacement Messer.

Dound reaIIy traveIs in here.

don't you think?

You know what? He is nothing Iike you.

Dam is nothing Iike you.

He is warm and kind. and he doesn't

run away at the first sign of something reaI.

Yeah. I ran.

My best friend died.

and overnight I had a house and a baby.

-I'm sorry if--

-If what?

-I was scared.

-You don't think I was scared?

It was easier for you. You wanted this.

You wanted the Iife that they had.

But not the way I got it.

Jesus. not the way I got it.

And not with somebody

who didn't Iove me back.

But I did.

HoIIy. I stiII do.

No. you're right.

We were just....

We were just pretending to be them.

We needed each other

to get through everything.

And now that's done. and we don't need

to pretend anymore. Messer. okay?

I don't wanna fight with you. pIease.

I'm gonna go back to Phoenix.

You can handIe Janine on your own.

Looks Iike you got things covered here

without me.

Oh. damn it.

Happy Thanksgiving. everyone.

It was great to see you aII.

If you're ever in Phoenix.

don't be afraid to Iook me up.

[DOPHIE CRYING]

Dhh. shh. shh.

Okay. dinner is served.

You guys aII shouId try the stuffing.

ReaIIy. it's amazing.

There's an andouiIIe-sausage thing

going on. so you'II Iove it.

Go ahead and dig in.

Come on. everybody. just....

Eat. now.

HOLLY:
AII right. thanks for coming.

HELEN:
Good night. sweetie.

Yeah. okay. that was bad.

Yeah. maybe we did go too fast.

You have unresoIved feeIings for him.

Messer and I bareIy got aIong

under the best circumstances...

...and there weren't very many

of those either.

If my wife and I fought Iike that...

...weII. we'd stiII be married.

You know. before anything happened

to Peter and AIison...

...you were exactIy the guy

I wanted to be with.

I wouId Iose time thinking about you.

and I didn't even know your name yet.

I'II miss you guys.

HOLLY:

''Leonardo was a terribIe monster.

He couIdn't scare anyone.

He didn't have 1642--''

Mama.

No. HoIIy.

-No. I'm HoIIy.

-Mama.

Yeah. baby girI.

I'm your mama.

HOLLY:
The truth is, you know,

sometimes it works better...

...with one person doing everything.

you know?

No charts. no arguments.

I know it's not ideaI.

But since when do parents

get the ideaI. right?

Right? Right. pretty girI? Huh?

I know. I know.

I'm sorry.

I can't do this. This isn't right.

-Is there a probIem?

-Yeah. I'm an idiot.

I gotta rescheduIe.

I'm sorry. I need to get to the airport.

-Come on.

-What?

[PHONE RINGING]

AII right. come on.

Pick up. pick up. pick up.

MEDDER [ON RECORDING]:

Hey, this is Messer.

-Ugh!

-Leave me something dirty.

You know.

I couId have come back for you.

WeII. this is our Iast meeting.

and I'm booked up for the next month.

-One way or another. we're finishing it.

-Okay.

If you wanna get there quickIy. you might

wanna drive faster than other cars.

But you're observing me. so....

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