Life Is Ruff Page #5

DOG CLASSIFICATIONS...

HEY, JACQUES-JACQUES,

JUICE-JUICE.

[DOG YIPPING]

P.A.:
TURN THEM INTO

THE JUDGES PANEL.

ALL FORMS MUST BE

SUBMITTED BEFORE...

[WHIMPERS]

YEAH, WE'RE HERE

TO SIGN IN.

WE DON'T USUALLY

GET NEW ENTRIES:

THIS LATE IN THE SEASON.

IT'S HIGHLY UNUSUAL.

WELL, UH...

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

I'D HATE TO INTRUDE,

BUT SECTION ONE:

OF THE ROYAL HOUND

TOP DOG RULEBOOK

CLEARLY STATES:

THAT ALL DOGS COMPETING

IN ANY SANCTIONED

COMPETITION MUST MEE AT MINIMUM GENERAL

PRESENTATION REQUIREMEN THAT ARE UP TO

TOP DOG STANDARDS.

CLEAN FUR, CLIPPED NAILS.

HE'S RIGHT.

YOU'LL NEED TO GE A JUDGE TO SIGN OFF ON THIS

BEFORE YOU AND YOUR...

ANIMAL CAN COMPETE.

YOU HAVE STALL 14.

[WOOF WOOF]

GOOD LUCK.

YOU'LL NEED IT.

OHH...

[BARKING]

Calvin:
BE AFRAID.

BE VERY AFRAID.

THERE'S A DOG

COMIN' DOWN THE STREET

GOTTA STOP:

WHEN I PASS A TREE

IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME,

THEY CALL ME THE BAD DOG

YEAH, I'M A BAD DOG

OUTSIDE BARKIN'

AT THE MOON:

DOG CATCHER GONNA

GET ME SOON:

FIGG, LOOK AT THIS PLACE, MAN.

IT'S LIKE WE WARPED

INTO SOME FREAKY

ALTERNATE DOG UNIVERSE,

YOU KNOW?

CALVIN, THESE DOGS

HAVE ENTIRE TEAMS

OF PROFESSIONAL:

GROOMERS.

SO? WHAT DO WE HAVE?

ONE COMB.

THE EVENT BEGINS

IN ONE HOUR.

WE'RE NEVER GONNA HAVE

TYCHO READY IN TIME.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE

BEEN OVER THIS, FIGG?

MAN, YOU HAVE REALLY

GOT TO LEARN TO EXPEC THE IMPOSSIBLE.

RONDEL?

YEAH, WHAT'S UP, MAN?

IT'S CALVIN.

ALL RIGHT.

IT'S PSYCHED, Y'ALL.

IT'S GAME TIME!

RONDEL, BABY,

WHAT KIND OF CLIEN DID YOU SAY THIS WAS?

STALL 14? THANK YOU.

MAN, I OWE YOU.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, KID.

YOU KNOW ME.

I LIVE TO COMPETE.

LET'S GO.

MOM, THE TEAM IS ALL YOURS.

HMM. NOW, THIS IS WHA I CALL A CHALLENGE.

ALL RIGHT, FRONT COURT,

YOU'RE ON NAIL CLIPPING

DUTY, SO MOVE.

GUARDS, I WANT TO SEE

THEM TEETH WHITE

AND SHINY. COME ON, NOW.

COME ON, Y'ALL.

Y'ALL GOTTA BE

FEELIN' ME RIGHT NOW.

LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN,

Y'ALL. COME ON.

YO, MAN,

PASS ME THOSE CLIPPERS.

[HAIR DRYER BLOWING]

HEY, HEY, HEY.

LOOK ME IN MY EYES.

YOU ARE TOO FAST.

YOU ARE FAS LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN.

YOU CANNOT BE STOPPED.

IT'S NOT IN THE BODY,

IT'S IN THE MIND.

YOU ARE THE MAC DADDY DOG!

YOU FEELIN' ME?!

Chuck:
IN LANE ONE,

WE HAVE TWO-TIME

TOP DOG DEFENDING CHAMPIONS

PRESTON PRICE AND JACQUES.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Holly:
AND IN LANE 2,

WE HAVE CALVIN WHEELER

AND HIS DOG TYCHO.

YEAH!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC PLAYS]

Holly:
LOOK AT THAT.

[BARKING]

Chuck:
I DON'T BELIEVE IT,

HOLLY.

THIS IS CALVIN AND TYCHO'S

FIRST COMPETITION,

BUT CLEARLY THEY HAVE

UNLEASHED A TEAM OF STYLISTS

THAT KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

SEE, THAT'S WHA I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

BORDEN HAIR SALON.

FIFTH AND MAIN.

HONEY. HONEY?

YOU NEED TO COME SEE ME.

OK?

Holly:
THIS IS

AN EVENT THAT FAVORS

SMALLER, MORE AGILE

ANIMALS, CHUCK.

UNLESS TYCHO IS A LOT MORE

FLEET OF FOOT THAN HE LOOKS,

THIS WON'T EVEN BE CLOSE.

JACQUES AND I ARE GONNA

TEACH YOU AND YOUR MUT A LESSON.

WELL, UH...

I'LL JUST SEE YOU

AT THE FINISH LINE,

PRESTON.

Official:
DOGS READY.

[RUFF RUFF RUFF]

[WOOF WOOF WOOF]

HANDLERS READY.

ON MY MARK...

GET SET...

GO.

JACQUES,

LET'S GO, JACQUES.

OK. OK, WEAVE, JACQUES.

WEAVE, JACQUES.

LET'S GO.

WEAVE, JACQUES. GOOD BOY.

WEAVE. WEAVE, JACQUES.

WEAVE.

OK, COME ON, TYCHO.

WE CAN BEAT THEM.

LET'S GO.

Chuck:
BY GOLLY, HOLLY,

DID YOU SEE THAT?

TYCHO IS CRASHING

THROUGH THE OBSTACLES

LIKE THEY AREN'T EVEN THERE.

Calvin:
OK, THAT'S COOL.

WE CAN STILL DO IT.

GO THROUGH. COME ON.

GO THROUGH.

Crowd:
OHH!

[WOOF]

WE CAN DO IT.

COME ON.

GO, GO.

GO, GO, GO. OHH!

OHH!

OHH!

OHH!

Holly:
THEY'RE TUNNELING

THROUGH RIGHT NOW.

THAT LITTLE DOG:

IS STILL IN THE LEAD.

HE IS SO CUTE.

OHH! WHOA! OH!

[RUFF]

AAH, AAH, AAH.

THAT'S MY SHOULDER!

[WOOF WOOF]

Holly:
SPLISH SPLASH,

HE'S TAKIN' A BATH.

Chuck:
THAT DOG

IS DOING SWIMMINGLY.

THINK THAT'S THE DOGGIE

PADDLE, CHUCK.

TYCHO! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

UNH! AAH!

TYCHO! NOOOO!

[CROWD GASPING]

OHH! HE'S GONNA

HAVE TO SHAKE:

THAT ONE OFF.

JACQUES!

GO, TYCHO--OW!

[CROWD GROANS]

OHH!

OH, JACQUES,

ARE YOU OK, JACQUES?

COME HERE, JACQUES.

Calvin:
COME ON!

WHERE'S MY DOG?!

OH, JACQUES,

ARE YOU OK, JACQUES?

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

ARE YOU OK?

OHH!

OK--

Chuck:
THAT DOG IS FLYING

OFF THE BRIDGE.

TYCHO TAKES THE LEAD.

[WHIMPERS]

OH!

COME ON, MAN!

COME ON, BABY!

TYCHO, WAIT!

TYCHO, NO! NO!

GO, JACQUES.

JACQUES,

GO, JACQUES.

[GROWLING]

[BARKING]

[CROWD GROANS]

[GROWLING, BARKING]

COME. HEY, JACQUES.

[BOTH TALKING AT ONCE]

THIS IS:

AN AWARD-WINNING DOG.

GET OFF OF MY DOG!

THEY'RE DIGGIN' UP

SOME TROUBLE NOW, CHUCK.

Chuck:

IT'S PAN-DOG-MONIUM.

THIS IS DOGGONE EXCITING.

Chuck:
A CANINE CATASTROPHE.

JUDGES, WE HAVE

A VIOLATION. CODE RED!

THERE'S A RACE GOIN' ON!

TYCHO, WAIT!

WAIT FOR ME, TYCHO!

WAIT! I'M COMIN'!

[BARKING]

TYCHO, COME ON, NOW,

GO INTO THE TUNNEL.

JACQUES!

ALL RIGHT, TYCHO,

WE GONNA WIN!

JACQUES--JACQUES--

NO, GET OUTTA THERE!

DON'T SPIN!

JACQUES! JACQUES,

COME OUT OF THERE

THIS INSTANT!

HEEL! HEEL!

DO SOMETHING WITH

THAT MANGY MUTT!

[ALL SHOUTING]

I THINK HE'S MAKING

HIS WAY TO THE FINISH LINE.

DRAGGIN' THAT THING

LIKE A DRAGON, ISN'T HE?

OHH!

OHH!

OHH!

OH HO HO!

Holly:

THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

Preston:
JUDGES,

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

JACQUES AND I ARE FILING

AN OFFICIAL PROTEST!

[RUFF RUFF]

JACQUES!

Chuck:
HOLLY, IT LOOKS LIKE

PRESTON PRICE HAS LOST CONTROL

OF HIS ANIMAL.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A CHAMPION

THIS FLUSTERED, CHUCK.

Preston:
BAD DOG!

HE'S GOT TO GE TO THE FINISH LINE.

HE'S ALMOST THERE!

OH, YEAH!

[WOOF WOOF]

COME ON, TYCHO.

COME ON!

DON'T STOP MOVIN',

TYCHO, KEEP MOVIN'!

PLEASE MOVE.

JUST PLEASE MOVE.

I'M TRYING TO WIN THE RACE.

Chuck:
PRESTON PRICE

HAS JUST BEEN HI WITH A PENALTY

FOR CARRYING HIS DOG.

Holly:
OH, THAT IS

GOING TO COST THE CHAMP.

COME ON! COME ON!

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

WHOA!

WHOO-HOO!

VICTORY IS OURS,

VICTORY IS OURS:

Holly:
OK, CHUCK,

IT'S GOING TO TAKE

THE JUDGES SOME TIME

TO TALLY UP ALL THOSE

PENALTIES HERE.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE FINALLY

GOING TO GET A RULING

FROM THE HEAD JUDGE.

THE DOG IN LANE 2,

TYCHO,

COMPLETED THE COURSE

IN ONE MINUTE, 37 SECONDS.

AFTER CALCULATING

THE TIME PENALTIES

ASSESSED FOR MISSING

EVERY SINGLE OBSTACLE,

THE FINAL TIME:

IS 2 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS.

UNBELIEVABLE!

CALVIN WHEELER:

AND HIS DOG TYCHO

HAVE JUST SE A NEW COURSE RECORD.

Holly:
WITH SOME VERY

UNORTHODOX STRATEGY,

I MIGHT ADD.

JUST LISTEN. THE CROWD

IS BEGGING FOR MORE.

[WOOF WOOF]

IT'S NOT FAIR.

HE CHEATED.

HE CAN'T JUST SMASH THROUGH

OBSTACLES LIKE THAT. COME ON.

THE WINNER IS:

CALVIN WHEELER AND TYCHO.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

OHH! OHH!

YEAH! HA HA!

Chuck:
THAT FIRST-PLACE FINISH

IS GOING TO SECURE

THIS UNKNOWN DOG

AN INVITATION TO

THE TOP DOG FINALS

NEXT WEEKEND.

Holly:
CALVIN WHEELER

AND HIS DOG TYCHO

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