Life Is Ruff Page #4

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T REALIZE

IT WAS GARBAGE DAY.

LOOK, THIS IS KIND OF

AWKWARD FOR US.

HOW DO I PUT THIS?

WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS--

WE GOTTA POUND ON YOU.

[WOOF, GRRR]

FIGG, MAN,

GET OUTTA HERE.

NO WAY!

[WOOF]

[BARKING]

IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL,

CALVIN.

YEAH, WE LIKE YA.

EVERYONE DOES.

BUT WE'RE GETTIN' PAID.

IT'S BUSINESS.

YOU CAN APPRECIATE THAT.

I MEAN--CAN I

AT LEAST ASK WHY?

IT'S, UH,

PRESTON PRICE.

HE WANTS:

YOU AND YOUR DOG

TO STAY AWAY:

FROM THAT DOG SHOW.

AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO,

YOU KNOW,

ENCOURAGE YOU TO DROP OUT.

AND YOU KNOW HOW...

PERSUASIVE WE CAN BE.

[WOOF]

LOOK, MAN,

NONE OF THIS IS NECESSARY.

TELL PRESTON:

I AM TAKING TYCHO

RIGHT BACK TO THE POUND

TODAY AFTER SCHOOL.

LOOK, WE STILL GOTTA

POUND ON YOU.

WE'VE ALREADY BEEN PAID.

YEAH. WE GOT ETHICS

AND STUFF.

SORRY, CALVIN.

THERE'S NO TALKING YOUR WAY

OUT OF THIS ONE.

SO YOU WANT I IN THE FACE

OR THE GUT OR WHAT?

[BARKING]

SURPRISE ME.

WHAT IS THAT?!

OHH, NO!

AAH!

[SHOUTING AND SCREAMING]

OH! MAN! ARE Y'ALL OK?

[BOTH GROANING]

[LAUGHING]

Calvin:
YOU STUPID DOG!

COME ON, BUDDY! COME ON!

[WOOF WOOF]

HA HA HA!

HEEL!

OHH...

I'VE BEEN MEANING

TO FIX THAT GATE

FOR MONTHS.

SO LET'S RECAP.

OUR SON IS JUS SPONTANEOUSLY

DOING WORK AROUND THE HOUSE

WITHOUT EVEN BEING TOLD?

I DON'T THINK

IT'S OUR SON.

Calvin:
HELLO?

YEAH, EMILY?

YEAH, IT'S CALVIN.

YEAH, UH,

SORRY TO CALL SO LATE,

IT'S JUST THAT, UH...

I COULD REALLY USE

SOME HELP WITH TYCHO.

WELL, NOTHING'S

REALLY WRONG.

IT'S JUST THAT...

HE'S A LITTLE BIT MORE

THAN I BARGAINED FOR.

OK, OK, SIT.

BAD DOG. BAD--

I SAID SIT!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SIT MEANS?

YOU CAN'T JUS YELL AT HIM!

HE'S DOIN' IT WRONG.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY

TEACHING HIM THE DIFFERENCE?

REWARD HIM WHEN:

HE DOES SOMETHING RIGHT.

[SIGHS] COME HERE.

COME HERE, TYCHO.

COME HERE.

OH, GOOD BOY!

YEAH, OK.

NOW SIT.

SIT.

YEAH! GOOD BOY!

THAT'S A GOOD BOY.

YEAH.

SO THAT'S IT?

JUST GIVE HIM FOOD?

A DOG NEEDS MORE

THAN JUST FOOD.

YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM

ENCOURAGEMENT,

PATIENCE, APPROVAL.

AND IF YOU REALLY WAN A DOG TO RESPOND TO YOU,

YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM LOVE.

YEAH, WHO'S A GOOD BOY?!

COOLIN' DOWN MY WORLD

WITH THE BALL AND CHAIN

WITH YOU:

CALLIN' DOWN THE CLOUDS

AS THEY TRY TO SPOIL

THE VIEW:

AND THEN CAME YOU

THE SUN IS SHINING ON I ANYWHERE

THE LIGHT FIELDS FALL

IN SATURN'S RINGS

WHEN TOGETHER,

WE'RE AS LIGHT AS FEATHERS

ON A FALCON'S WING

EVERYBODY TELLIN' ME

THERE'S NOTHING NEW

OHH OHH:

AND THEN CAME YOU

AND THEN CAME YOU

AND YOU HAVE TO:

PUT ASIDE YOUR NEEDS

FOR WHAT'S BES FOR THE DOG.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

EMILY, CAN I ASK YOU

A QUESTION?

FIRE AWAY.

HOW DID YOU KNOW

GOTHAM MAN'S ARCHENEMY

WAS NAMELESS?

DUH. I READ THE COMICS.

YOU READ THEM?

OR DO YOU JUST SKIM

THROUGH THEM SOMETIMES MAYBE?

TEST ME.

OK, UH...

THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER

OF THE GOTHAM-MOBILE.

BEFORE OR AFTER:

IT GOT TOTALED:

IN ISSUE 533?

WHAT IS WITH:

THE TRICK QUESTIONS?

HAVE YOU EVER:

JUST BEEN STRAIGHT UP

AND REAL WITH A PERSON?

NO.

NEVER.

PAR FOR THE COURSE.

Calvin:

FIGG, I AM TELLING YOU,

EMILY WAS JUST AMAZING

WITH TYCHO TODAY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK WE HAVE:

A GOOD CHANCE:

OF WINNING THAT OBSTACLE

COURSE EVENT.

MOM'S HOME EARLY.

CALVIN, FIGG, STAY OUTSIDE!

THERE'S A BEAR

IN THE HOUSE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'VE BARRICADED I IN YOUR ROOM

AND I'M CALLING 911.

MOM, MOM, MOM,

CHILL, CHILL, CH--

SHH!

THAT'S NOT A BEAR.

THAT'S TYCHO.

MY DOG.

YOUR WHAT?

Mom:
IT HAS TO GO BACK

TO THE POUND.

Dad:
NOW, HOLD ON.

I HAD A DOG:

WHEN I WAS A KID.

SKINNY LITTLE THING.

FOLLOWED ME HOME ONE DAY.

MY MOM AND DAD:

LET ME KEEP IT.

WELL, HONEY,

IT'S VERY SWEET,

BUT I JUST...

YOU KNOW...THE FUNNY THING

ABOUT HAVING A DOG--

THEY'RE A REAL PAIN.

DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT,

PEE ON THE RUG,

SLOBBER EVERYWHERE.

BUT YOU LOVE 'EM ANYWAY.

SO YOU'RE SAYING

THIS WOULD BE GOOD

FOR CALVIN.

[WHIMPERING]

I'M SAYING THAT...

LOVE DOESN'T HAVE

ANY SHORTCUTS.

[DOOR OPENS]

[TYCHO WHIMPERS]

OK...

TYCHO...

CAN STAY.

REALLY?

YAY! THANK YOU, MOM!

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, DAD.

THANK YOU.

NOT SO FAST.

THERE'S STILL

THE LITTLE MATTER OF YOU

TRICKING YOUR MOM INTO

SIGNING THE ADOPTION PAPERS.

OH, YEAH. HA HA!

GUESS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

JUST SLIPPED MY MIND,

YOU KNOW?

Mom:
NO TV,

NO CELL PHONE.

Dad:
FOR 2 MONTHS.

AND YOUR GRADES:

BETTER START...

GETTING BETTER.

THEY WILL, DAD!

I PROMISE.

YOU CAN STAY.

YOU CAN STAY.

I'M

A DOG:

I'M

A DOG:

ONLY ONE CHANCE:

TO GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME

YOU GET YOURS:

WHEN I GET MINE:

'CAUSE I'M

I'M A DOG

CHASE:

YOUR TAIL:

CHASE:

YOUR TAIL:

RUNNIN' AROUND

IN THE STREETS ALL DAY

FIND THE ANSWER:

OR I MIGHT JUST STAY

STAY A DOG:

[THUNDER]

[WHIMPERING]

GOOD LUCK, LITTLE GUY.

[THUNDER]

[WHIMPERING]

IT'S OK, TYCHO.

IT'S JUST A BAD DREAM.

YOU'RE SAFE WITH ME.

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL,

TO BEDFORD CIVIC AUDITORIUM,

THE SITE OF THE LAS REGULAR SEASON EVEN IN ROYAL HOUND DOG FOOD'S

TOP DOG SHOW CIRCUIT.

TODAY WE'LL BE SEEING

THE OBEDIENCE:

AND OBSTACLE DOG TRIAL.

WELL, THIS HAS GOT TO BE

THE MOST ATHLETIC

OF ALL TOP DOG:

CANINE COMPETITIONS.

THAT'S RIGHT, CHUCK.

OWNERS HAVE TO LEAD

THEIR DOGS:

THROUGH A SERIES

OF OBSTACLES:

IN A TEST OF SPEED

AND AGILITY.

AND, HOLLY, THE WINNERS

OF THIS COMPETITION

WILL GO ON:

TO THE TOP DOG FINALS

ONE WEEK FROM TODAY.

THE EXCITEMEN HAS ALREADY BEGUN

HERE ON THE RED CARPET,

WHERE WE'VE SEEN DOGS

OF ALL SHAPES, SIZES,

AND COLORS ARRIVING.

HOLLY, I'M BEING TOLD

RIGHT NOW:

THAT TWO-TIME TOP DOG

DEFENDING CHAMPIONS

ARE PULLING UP.

THAT'S RIGHT, CHUCK!

IT'S PRESTON PRICE

AND HIS CHAMPION PUREBRED

JEAN JACQUES ST. GERMAINE

DE DUPREE.

PRESTON. PRESTON.

YOU AND JACQUES:

HAVE ALREADY:

LOCKED UP AN INVITATION

TO NEXT WEEK'S FINAL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

HERE TODAY?

NARROWING DOWN:

THE COMPETITION, CHUCK.

ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GO.

WHAT A WELL-GROOMED

BOY. [GIGGLES]

YEAH?

OH, RIGHT.

PRESTON AND JACQUES

JUST MADE:

QUITE AN ENTRANCE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF THEY CAN ARRIVE

IN STYLE...

SO CAN WE.

HEY!

HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'?

THAT IS ONE BIG DOG

YOU GOT THERE. YEAH.

UM, UH, IT'S A GREAT DAY

FOR A DOG SHOW, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, YOU GOTTA LOVE

ROYAL HOUND. GOTTA GO.

Emily:
BOYCOTT ROYAL HOUND!

DID YOU SEE THE SIZE

OF THAT ONE, HOLLY?

I'M NOT EVEN SURE

THAT WAS A DOG, CHUCK.

BOYCOTT DOG SHOWS!

BOYCOT ROYAL HOUND!

Girl:
HEY, NO DOG SHOWS!

BOYCOTT ROYAL HOUND

DOG FOOD!

BOYCOTT DOG SHOWS

AND STOP THE EXPLOITATION

OF ANIMALS!

BOYCOTT DOG SHOWS!

[RAP SONG PLAYS]

HAS ANYBODY GOT MY BONE?

CHECK IT OUT.

P.A.:
OBEDIENCE GROUPS,

PLEASE REPORT TO THE EAS HOLDING AREA.

SMALL AND WORKING BREEDS,

PLEASE REMAIN IN SET-UP.

[BARKING]

LOOK HOW MANY OWNERS

LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THEIR DOGS.

THERE'S A DOG COMIN'

DOWN THE STREET:

GOTTA STOP:

WHEN I PASS A TREE

IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME,

THE CALL ME THE BAD DOG

THAT BETTER NO HAPPEN TO ME.

P.A.:
ATTENTION

ALL COMPETITORS.

COMPETITORS...

HEY.

P.A.:
SMALL AND MEDIUM

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes