Life Is Sweet Page #4

Symbolise

The sparrow

Oh I like

the bike

Oh yeah ah

isn't it novel

It's brilliant

isn't it

The old onion seller

That's in the

wrong place

Oh blimey

Is this the original

French article Aubrey?

Yeah yeah

No it was my Dads actually

yeah it was in the shed

Aww isn't that

nice Andy

Aww he would of been

proud of you Aubrey

No I don't think he would

of cared less Wendy y'know

He was a nasty

old bastard

Here look

at this

Oh you've got

a fish tank look

That's good

isn't it

Oh yeah

I thought they

were real

So did I

Oh fish look a bit

unfit don't they

The water's

murky isn't it

Yeah I'm going to put a

couple of lobsters in there

So people can choose them and I'm

going to cook them in over a minute y'know

Nice one

Yeah so where are you

going to put your prawns then?

Prawn

Is that all?

just one?

King prawn

Oh sorry

Anyway you like

Wendy y'know

It's all a matter of what

picture you want to paint

You having all

black plates then?

Yeah, great canvas

What sort of sauce are

you using there Aub?

Basically jam blended

with orange juice

Orange juice

What's that white

stuff? cream?

Nah it's fromage frais isn't it -

Yoghurt

Is it?

I think you'll find that fromage

frais will bubble on you And

It needn't

I acheived this

effect by eh

Gently

Easing

Teasing

and squeezing

Oh don't be

so dirty

Until you've got a

nice symmetrical circle

and eh

Then we eh

Chisel in the pattern with the end of

a knife and Bob's your Uncle it's ready to set

Aw it looks nice

though Andy

Your grill's in a bit

of a state Aubrey

Is it?

Oh yeah the girl

can do all that

When they starting

then your girls?

The dogsbody tommorow

then the waitress on Tuesday

Oh right -

Great team

Ah I love your

little candles

Bistro effect

isn't it

Yeah they're great

ain't they

I've been trying to get

them all the same length

But eh

I keep forgetting to blow them out

y'know and have to start all over again

I've been through

12 boxes this week

Ah that'll be your

first little booking

Here we go

Hello the

Regret Rien

Oh hi Hilary

How are you? are you in the

starting blocks raring to go? great

You what?

Hang on

a minute

Say that again

Look at the state

of this place

Aww shame

isn't it

I don't think he'll

be ready y'know

You want to see

the ladies toilet

Still, all credit to him -

Aw bless him yeah

Puts the old caravan

in perspective doesn't it

Aw Andy please

don't remind me

What do

you mean?

Well I don't want it sitting there

do I for 2 years blocking my view

Nah this has

inspired me

I want to get back

get down to work, get stuck in

Pigs might fly

F*** you

What's up mate?

Nothing

Do you want

a cigar Andy?

No thanks mate

I don't use them

Wendy would

you like a liquor

No ta no

I'm fine

Who's that then?

My waitress

What the big girl? - yeah

The Aussie? - yeah

No Kiwi

F*** f*** f***

f*** f*** f*** f***

Got to laugh

ain't you

What's the

matter then?

She's eh

let me down y'know

How do

you mean?

She's going away

with her boyfriend

When?

Today

She was phoning

from Heathrow

Where's she going

Flipping Prague

Aww

Oh that's

not right

No that's not on mate -

No sorry

It's great

isn't it

You give someone a break

a chance to better themselves

An opportunity to enter

into brave new venture

and what do

they do?

Piss off

to Poland

Well that's typical Aussie

isn't it, travellers

Students

It's Czechoslovakia

isn't it, Prague?

Yeah

is it?

Yeah

It's alright

I can cope

I can do it on my own -

No you can't

Yes I can I've come this far

so far solo I can go the whole hog

I can wait on table

I can do that, I'm not proud

I can eat in a

f***ing kitchen

Aubrey Aubrey

calm down calm down

What you got to do

you got to get onto an agency

Get a waitress over here to cover you

til you get yourself sorted out

Yeah 'cause you need

that little support

That's right

It's alright Andy

Wendy

Everything's hunkydory

cool

I'm in complete

control

If ever I

see her again

I'll stick a

knife in her guts

I'll slice her

face off y'know

Whoah whoah

whoah whoah whoah

Jesus Christ don't the

neighbours complain?

My eardrums please -

oh dear

Sorry sorry

I got over excited

I am so grateful

thank you

Really really from the deepest

part of my heart, thank you

Aubrey shut up right -

No no I'm sincere

Now listen

You're in trouble, right? and I'm helping you

out 'cause that's what friends are for

That's right

isn't it Andy

It's it's

it's amazing

But you haven't even done

bar work Wend, let's be honest

No but I'm confident

I can have a go

Let's face it, have you

ever been a waitress?

No -

No

But I've been waiting on

you all these years haven't I so

To be totally honest Andy I think

Wendy will be a natural y'know

She's got such grace and charm -

Thank you Aubrey

Excuse me are we

talking about the same girl?

Don't be

rotten

Eh listen, what

have I got to wear?

Black

waitress uniform

What? little French

maids outfit?

Eh Andy look

at his face

No anything you

like Wendy y'know

Comme ci comme ca

come casual

What? skirt and blouse

type of thing yeah?

Yeah great

See if you've got

anything in pink Wend

Oh shut up you

Listen, aren't you

going to pay me?

Oh yeah

How much?

25 a week

What?

You're joking me

Leave it out

What time's that flight to Prague? -

Yeah we'll be on it

No no no

No you don't

understand

That's just a basic for the

paperwork, the tax-man y'know

How do

you mean?

Well you get to keep all your tips

that's 12 and a half percent

and if you don't get at least a 100

a week I'll make up the difference

Oh that's

not bad

Oh that sounds alright yeah

that'll go towards the holiday

I don't want to talk

about money anyway

You can have what you like

1000 a week y'know

Yeah alright

you're on

Well y'know

what I mean

Is this your passion

pit then Aub?

Oh yeah this is where he

brings all the girls Andy

This is the only room

I've had decorated

Oh yeah it's nice though isn't it, this

is what I call a proper boys room y'know

Yeah

Great bed

Orthopedic

300

How many

does it hold?

Oh careful

Oh dear me

Aubrey

You alright mate?

What're you doing?

coming up for air?

Thought I'd

lost that

What are you looking

for fivers down there?

No all I'm

saying Andy

Is I think you

made a big mistake

That's all

Little beauty

ain't she

I mean if you got

yourself a bank loan

and bought a really

decent van that's one thing

But buying this I mean you're

throwing good money after bad

Have we got

any bin bags?

I mean look at

all this it's rubbish

What do you think I want the

bin bags for? of course it's rubbish

It's all rubbish

I know that

That's why I want to get this lot

cleared out then I can see what I've got

Well I'm sorry Andy I can't

get any enthusiasm for it

I know you can't

it's obvious

To be honest with you I

would appreciate if you could

Could do with a bit

of moral support

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