Life Tracker Page #5

to be proven

until we lead by example.

Second,

the highest rated reader

to date is at 87%.

Now, those might be good odds

if you're in a casino,

but not when you're letting

the whole world

study your genetic code

and make judgment calls

about you.

If you were Chuck lamont

wouldn't you be worried?

Third,

what does this have to do

with the state of California?

If you could look

into the future

and see if a car

you were buying

was gonna blow a head gasket

two months later,

would you buy it?

Listen, an ltl print

will let us check his oil.

Fourth, let's say

we could find a reader

rated at 100%,

not going to happen,

but let's just say it.

How is it possible to be sure

that that reader is impartial?

Chuck,

enough with the counting.

Fifth,

let's talk about the issues,

the economy,

the prison system,

the debate over charter

versus public school systems.

I don't want to play politics.

Business?

This is about...

You don't want

to play politics?

Well, what do you think

you'll have to do

am I going to get

a chance here?

The reality is game playing

for Megan brown,

problem solving

from Chuck lamont.

Here we are.

We want to thank

our good friend Zack

for helping us out

on camera two.

Zackie!

So, we all went down

thinking we were going

to walk out with

some sort of fortune cookie,

but it was actually

a pretty in depth process.

Yeah, you don't even

meet with the reader.

It's all based on your print,

which is analyzed against

your personal survey.

And I'm fine with

my print being added

to the national database.

But I will die if anyone

gets a hold of his.

Oh, really?

Yeah,

tons of personal questions.

I mean usual things.

Who your parents are,

personal medical history,

but tons of almost

like freudian questions.

Right, like how do you feel

about your mother?

One of them

was named the top five

most emotionally painful

experiences of your life,

then rate the pain

on a scale of 1 to 10,

1 being orgasm,

10 being contemplation

of suicide.

Yeah, nothing if not vivid.

And you have to remember

how old you were

to the week if possible

when these things happened.

Right, because there's

this fine print

that basically says

one of the ways

a reader's accuracy

can be compromised is

if you mess up your timeline.

Which we're not going to say.

Before we...

Before...

Wait, wait.

Before we do it,

this is for the documentary,

right.

No judgments.

No judgments.

No matter what.

Plus, our trip to Vegas

kind of downgraded

our reader's qualifications

just a bit.

Yeah, 64%.

That's what we got.

Never split tens.

Okay, okay, okay.

Can we?

Zack, can we do this?

Say go.

Do it.

Damn girl.

Oh, there's an index.

Talk about excited.

Skipping to the good stuff.

Oh.

Hmm, all right.

Looks like I'm going to have

problems with my lungs

and all of

the wonderful diseases

they have listed,

it says mesothelioma

is the most probable.

Score.

You've got to get something.

Yeah, jackpot.

Well, I'm going to have

a dependency problem.

Shocker.

Most probable culprits

being marijuana, alcohol,

and/or opiates.

That's more like

predicting the present.

Opiates?

It said it, not me.

What it's talking about.

It's my turn.

It says I'm going to spend

a couple of years

closer to contemplate suicide

side of the scale.

This is depressing.

There's no way to know

when any of this

is going to happen?

Oh, no, dude.

Check out the last page.

It's one giant call to arms

demanding that

the death dates be released.

Good, I'd like to know

if I'm going to get lung cancer

tomorrow or 50 years from now.

Guys, I'm going to have

two boys and a girl.

And it says that the bloke

is already in the system.

Oh, really?

This better not be

your cute way of telling me

you're preggo with my eggo.

Oh, not that I know of,

Mr. 1-0-0-4-5-2.

I am track number 1-0-0-4-6-1.

Give me that.

This dude is going to be

such a piece of work.

Getting your print done

is still sort of like

an elitist thing.

So, he's probably very wealthy

and very powerful.

Right, right.

Like Larry king or Carl rover.

Okay, they both have

incredibly sexy minds.

So sexy.

All right, never mind.

But it could be someone like,

oh, javier bardem

or gael Garcia bernal.

I'm sure.

Or not.

She doesn't even

know how to say his name

and she's going

to have his babies.

That's awesome.

We're so having babies.

Yes!

Seriously?

Okay, you can name the boys.

Wait, you guys aren't...?

It's a joke.

Excuse me?

Of course not.

Scott?

I mean it's got to be

like a mix up, right?

It's...

Honey, come on.

This is stupid.

It's wrong.

They've mixed up the numbers.

It's all fun.

64%.

You can be one of our babies.

Okay, okay.

I'm going to just,

I know, I know.

It's stupid.

I'm going to...

Can we just cut?

Dude?

Yeah, it's a little awkward.

I'm so sorry.

I don't...

No, I mean I don't get it.

You guys want to start

right now?

Shut up, Zack.

So, update time.

Scott isn't talking

about the giant pink elephant

in the room.

It's been two weeks

of weird half mentioning it,

which is just making it worse.

One thing's for sure though.

He's completely switched sides.

He's now totally convinced

that this is all

just a parlour trick.

Bell just smiles

and rolls her eyes

at the whole situation.

She hasn't said

if she thinks the prints

are predicting the future,

but she's convinced

that this is a fluke.

As am I.

I'm actually very pro-ltl.

That said,

we went to a crappy reader.

Scott and bell

are perfect for each other.

End of story.

It's just so ridiculous

that we have to deal

with something like this.

How much does a reader

with a 30% cost?

$50.

$50?

That's not much of

an investment in your future.

Um... 79%.

Let me guess,

about $1,800?

Yeah, you're in the ballpark.

I've got to know what

you get for that kind of cash.

I mean a bunch

of random stuff.

I guess the biggest thing

was that he saw the effects of

some sort of anti-depressant

in my future.

How does that make you feel?

A little depressed.

Jon Stewart

got his print read?

He read it himself on the show.

He's officially

reader rated at 1.5%.

That's awesome.

You've got to find

the right suckers

and match them up

with the right snake oil,

don't you?

At this point,

I prefer to look back

rather than look forward.

My name is

Dr. uriel Patterson.

I work at the Mountain spring

lake laboratory in New York.

I'm here at ucla doing a study

on the mental effects

of receiving

an ltl print reading.

Can you tell us

a bit about the study?

Well, the fact that

they haven't released

the death date information

is really hindering

our progress.

How so?

Well, it's not just

the date of someone's death

that ltl has been

ordered not to release.

It's also anything

that would help to figure out

that information.

So, like what exactly?

We all know our birth date.

So, we know the starting point.

When we get our prints,

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