Life Tracker Page #6

everything listed

before the date

you took your test

is listed chronologically.

Right, okay.

For example,

our producer Dillon

was able to see

when he broke his leg

from when he was eight

because of the spike

in his osteo somethings.

Osteoclast

and osteoblast, right?

Exactly.

That's what the body uses

to repair and mend

broken bones.

Did you mention your leg

in a survey?

I did, yes.

And did the print predict

any other broken bones

in your future?

A couple of times actually.

When?

Doesn't say.

You see the problem?

If it's possible to link

a piece of DNA with an injury

in a person's past,

then why can't you

measure the distance between

the two incidents

and figure out

when in the future

it will happen again?

I assume you can't.

Of course you can.

But how does knowing

I'm going to break my leg

sometime in the future

effect my death date?

Well, then you would know

you weren't going to die

until after you broke your leg.

Like your own personal

book of revelations.

Everyone waiting

for the seven signs

of their own apocalypse.

Okay, so how does this

hinder your progress?

You're a filmmaker,

so I assume you like movies.

Assumption correct.

Name a movie that's more

suspenseful because of what

the director doesn't show you

rather than what he does.

That's easy.

Jaws, the Blair witch project,

Rosemary's baby, psycho.

Good, good, good.

Jaws, that's a good one.

Let's use that.

We only really see the outcome

of what the shark

has already done.

When we see the shark

it's only terrifying glimpses

out of the corner of our eyes.

That's because our imaginations

are far scarier

than anything

than Spielberg

could have put on screen.

Most people have

some kind of mental anguish.

Not about what's in the print,

but about when those things

are going to happen.

In all honesty,

I believe that if the death date

information was released

people would be more at ease.

Because their imaginations

wouldn't be running wild

trying to figure out if today

was the day that they were

going to die or get a disease?

Or get pregnant,

or find happiness.

It's not always a negative

thing that causes anxiety.

It's simply not knowing.

Looking pretty bad out there.

Hey, I got a couple.

Out of how many.

A few more than a couple.

Were you recording that?

Don't worry, Keanu.

For all people know you were

surfing fumes out there.

That's good.

Because that's exactly

what we were doing.

Maybe you guys should

check your prints to see

when you'll stand up

for longer than three seconds.

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Okay, I was thinking about it

and I don't really get it.

Get what?

Well, how they're figuring

certain things out.

I mean it doesn't just say

that Jack screws Jill.

So, how do they know that?

Well, obviously,

it's more complicated

than that.

I mean I have no idea how a

microwave makes my dinner.

How?

I just know I stick it in

and two minutes later

it's done.

Listen, it's like blue's clues

for adults.

You, basically,

just gather as many clues

as you can

and draw the most

logical conclusion.

I was reading about

the discovery of DNA last night

because in the early 50s

and at the time all they knew

that it was shaped

like a double helix

and it might be

responsible for heredity.

And I could see how

at the time that would seem

pretty useless,

but now it seems like

we use DNA for everything.

So, you're a believer?

Yeah, I guess.

I guess I am.

You're just saying

that because you want

to get into bell's pants.

Oh, God.

We went to a 64% reader.

We can't be sure

of anything he told us.

So, you believe

there's a 64% chance

bell is going to have

your babies?

No, I think that's part

of the 36% that's bogus.

Okay, I thought

documentarians

were supposed to show

both sides of the story

and let the viewers decide.

Right, because

Michael Moore's docs

aren't slanted

to the left at all.

Well, maybe that's what

this one has going for it.

Well, Scott over here thinks

this is all a publicity stunt

to make quick cash and

you think we're going

to have sex someday.

I don't believe that.

Then what do you think?

I think you should

stop being jealous

because you have

nothing to worry about.

Is that so?

I'm going to get you all wet.

I can understand a disease

being stored in your body

after you've gotten it,

but what life tracker

claims is that all of this

information

is already your DNA

from the start.

Well, think of an iPod.

When you plug an iPod in all

the songs are already there.

Because the playlist was made

before you started listening.

Well, it's the same thing

with our DNA.

Our DNA, Susan,

was made at creation.

Okay, now you're getting

into religion.

Is this proof of God?

If it is, do we want to know

what God knows?

Do we want to play God?

Well, are we playing God

when we go see the doctor

or the dentist?

So, with that argument,

does that mean we should let

our teeth rot out of our heads

because that's

what God gave us?

I'm not arguing that there's

no possible good

to come from this,

but I think it's a huge mistake

to not also think about

the negative possibilities.

Back off, dil.

Would you just tell me

what's wrong?

I'm trying to help

your little documentary here.

Here we are in filmmaking

capital of the world,

always sunny Hollywood,

California.

Hi, Dillon.

Thanks for talking

with us today.

Bell, what happened?

Your new film about ltl

technology to predict

the future so brilliant.

Is it a scam?

Or will it change the world

and how we see it?

What are you doing?

See, folks?

It changes everything.

Nothing has changed.

That's the most amazing part.

It simply plants ideas

in your head.

Ideas about the future

and it's how you react

to those thoughts

that change everything.

Earlier, in this magnificent

documentary you were witness

to our prints telling us

that Dillon and I

would have children.

Talk about the perfect conflict

to keep the audience buzzing.

Will they really?

Or was it just

an honest misinterpretation

from a lousy reader?

Suffering from inner turmoil

I'm sure about the validity

of this asinine reading,

Scott decided to call over

a needy ex-girlfriend

for emotional support.

What does it all mean, Rebecca?

Are my girlfriend of four years

and my best friend

going to cheat together?

If that's what the print says,

then it has to be true.

I can't believe they swore

they would never do it

and we had a really

low rated reader.

I can't imagine your pain,

Scotty.

I think I know what will

make you feel better.

What's that,

my slutty ex-girlfriend?

A goddamn blowj*b!

Bell, bell, calm down.

[Crying]

So, ladies and gentlemen,

you have your answer.

Throw your protests down

and accept it.

Now, what you've all

been waiting for.

Dah-dah-du-dahh.

Dillon, please.

No, no.

What's wrong with you?

If Scott messed up,

work it out.

But don't make

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