Life with Mikey Page #4

I GOT A KID WITH SOME TALEN AND YOU CAN'T GET HER.

HEY, HOW'D IT GO? DID

THEY LAUGH, THEY CRY?

NOBODY CRIED.

YOU KNOW, CHAPMAN, YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S DIFFICULT NOT TO BE JEALOUS

WITH SOMEONE WHO PEAKS AT 15,

DOES A COUPLE OF LOVE BOATS

AND A HOLLYWOOD SQUARES...

AND WINDS UP WORKING FOR DADDY

BECAUSE HE CAN'T GET A JOB

ANYWHERE ELSE.

I ALSO DID A CHARLIE'S ANGELS,

AND YOU KNOW THAT.

HEY, HEY, HEY!

HOLD THE ELEVATOR.

HEY, HEY, HEY!

ANGIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU. CAN I

SPEAK TO YOU FOR JUST A MINUTE?

YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

WE HAVE TO FINISH

THE AUDITIONS:

JUST AS A COURTESY.

WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING

FOR THIS GIRL FOR MONTHS.

BUT MR. CORCORAN

ABSOLUTELY LOVED ANGIE.

SHE GOT THE JOB!

SHE GOT THE JOB!

YES!

OKAY!

N-NO, SHH!

I'M QUIET, QUIET.

THANK YOU.

NO, NO, NO,

THANK YOU.

HERE'S THE PAPERWORK.

WE NEED TO SEE ANGIE FOR A

COSTUME FITTING THIS FRIDAY.

FRIDAY.

YOU GOT IT.

[Dog Barking]

YEAH, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[Hard Rock]

[Indistinct Chattering]

UH, IS THIS THE VEGA RESIDENCE?

I'M LOOKING

FOR ANGIE VEGA.

LENNY, WHO IS IT?

MY NAME IS MICHAEL CHAPMAN,

I'M A FRIEND...

HEY!

ANGIE!

WHAT ARE YOU:

DOING HERE?

YOU GOT IT. YOU ARE

THE SUNBURST COOKIE GIRL.

OUT OF HUNDREDS OF KIDS,

THEY PICKED YOU.

WHEN DO I GET THE MONEY?

YOU WANNA TRY TO HOLD DOWN

THE EXCITEMENT A LITTLE BIT?

WHEN DO WE GET THE MONEY?

AFTER WE SHOO THE FIRST COMMERCIAL!

LISTEN, I GOTTA GET YOUR SISTER

TO SIGN THESE DOCUMENTS.

I'LL GET 'EM SIGNED.

ANGIE?

I REALLY WOULDN'T MIND TALKIN'

TO HER, IF THAT'S OKAY...

NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME.

UH, ANGIE?

LISTEN, HERE'S MY HOME NUMBER.

GIVE ME A CALL:

WHEN SHE SIGNS 'EM.

CONGRATULATIONS!

[Woman]

AND YOU'RE FROM MOSCOW.

THAT'S OUR HOMETOWN.

YOU ONLY HAD A MOUSTACHE

IN THOSE DAYS.

OH, YOU LOOK

SO MUCH OLDER...

REMEMBER,

IT'S RUSSIA.

COLD.

BRR.

OKAY. SO MUCH OLDER,

ALEXANDER VERSHININ-NIN.

AND YOU-YOU LOOK SO GREA IN THIS SWEATER,

DEBBIE, I SWEAR.

MICHAEL, PLEASE, STOP.

I HAVE THIS AUDITION TOMORROW.

ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME OR NOT?

DA, DA, DA, OKAY.

WHERE WERE WE?

UH, THAT'S ME.

THE LOVELORN MAJOR.

I WANTED-TELL ME

WHAT THAT FABRIC IS.

WHAT IS IT?

[Moaning]

[Knocking]

[Growling]

AHH, ALL RIGHT,

JUST STAY IN CHARACTER,

ALL RIGHT?

IT'S COLD. BRR!

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

HERE'S ALL THE STUFF

YOU NEEDED SIGNED.

NOW?

OH, AND I ALSO THOUGH I SHOULD BRING THIS BACK.

WHOSE IS THIS?

MR. COOKIEMAN'S.

CORCORAN'S.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

I ADMIT, IT WASN' SUCH A GREAT IDEA, BUT,

YOU KNOW, YOU GET IN A HABIT.

OH, HUH, I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU HAD COMPANY.

YEAH.

HELLO, I'M DEBBIE.

HI, I'M ANGIE.

THIS PLACE IS DISGUSTING.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

AH, SHE WAS JUST DELIVERIN'

THIS STUFF. ANGIE'S A CLIENT.

OH, REALLY? ME TOO.

I THOUGHT HE JUS REPRESENTED KIDS.

[Whispering]

NO!

IS THAT TRUE?

KIDS OF ALL AGES

IS WHAT SHE MEANT.

HUH! WELL, NO WONDER

I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A JOB!

YOU'RE A KID'S AGENT!

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,

YOU NEVER GOT A JOB?

I GOT YOU THAT JOB

IN THE TROJAN WOMEN.

OH, BIG DEAL!

ONE LOUSY PRODUCTION

IN A THEATER IN PASSAIC?

AND I HAD TO MAKE

THE COSTUMES TOO!

DEBBIE, DEBBIE, DEBBIE.

ANY CHANCE OF GETTING TIME OFF

FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR?

NO.

DEBBIE! D-DEBBIE, D-DON'T GO.

NICE MEETING YOU, ANGIE.

DEBBIE...

[Sighs]

UH, DID I COME

AT A BAD TIME?

NO, NO. THAT WAS PERFECT.

THINK I'D GOTTEN

JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING

I COULD OUT OF THE EVENING.

SO I WAS THINKING,

I CAN'T CONCENTRATE

ON THE COMMERCIALS AT HOME...

WITH LENNY:

AND ALL HIS STUPID FRIENDS.

SO I THOUGHT I'D STAY HERE

UNTIL WE'RE DONE.

[Chuckles]

THAT'S THREE WEEKS AWAY.

SO WHAT?

SO I DON'T THINK YOUR SISTER'S

GONNA BE TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

LISTEN, I TAKE BETTER CARE

OF HER THAN SHE DOES OF ME.

SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

SHE KNOWS I'M HERE. IT'S COOL.

IT'S NOT COOL.

CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

I DON'T WANNA BE RUDE...

AND I'M REAL SORRY

ABOUT YOUR DOMESTIC PROBLEMS.

BUT THIS IS:

MY LUCKY PAC-MAN PILLOW,

THIS IS MY HOUSE,

THIS IS YOUR BAG

AND THAT'S THE DOOR.

I LIKE MY PRIVACY.

MORE THAN YOUR COMMISSION?

WHAT, ARE YOU THREATENING ME?

I DON'T RESPOND WELL TO THREATS.

I WILL NOT BE THREATENED.

[Grunting]

[Angie]

YOU ARE SUCH A PIG!

YUCK!

[Knocking]

YEAH.

DO YOU KNOW THIS GIRL?

IS SHE STAYING WITH YOU?

THAT DEPENDS.

WHAT DID SHE DO?

HUH! I FOUND HER

IN THE HALL THIS MORNING,

THROWING OUT YOUR GARBAGE.

I'M SORRY, MRS. CANTRELL.

THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

I HOPE IT HAPPENS

EVERY DAY.

USUALLY, THE GARBAGE

JUST SITS THERE,

SMELLING UP THE WHOLE PLACE.

NOT TO MENTION:

THE CIGARETTE BUTTS.

DEAR?

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME

TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL?

YEAH, RIGHT. IN MY NEXT LIFE.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE!

YEAH. THANK YOU,

MRS. CANTRELL.

[Mrs. Cantrell]

UUH!

GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT!

I'M ABOUT TO HAVE BREAKFAST.

UHH. UHH! OOH!

[Ed]

WHAT?

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

YOU LET HER STAY

IN YOUR APARTMENT?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

I REALLY DON'T.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY.

WE FINALLY GET THE BIGGEST JOB

WE'VE HAD IN YEARS...

AND YOU'RE UPSET 'CAUSE

THERE'S A FEW LITTLE PROBLEMS.

A FEW LITTLE PROBLEMS?

YOU SAID SHE DOESN'T GO

TO SCHOOL.

SHE STEALS, SHE RAN AWAY

FROM HOME. WE'RE NOW

REPRESENTING THE OMEN.

DID YOU CHECK HER HEAD

FOR THE LITTLE 666?

YEAH, THERE WAS ONLY TWO SIXES.

WE GOT HER JUST IN TIME!

MISS BRIGANTI,

ANNOUNCE ME, PLEASE.

CERTAINLY.

THE CEREAL KING IS HERE.

HI, BARRY.

BARRY!

WHAT AN UNEXPECTED PLEASURE.

[Chuckling]

I WANNA GO SKATING.

SKATING?

WHO DOESN'T?

[Chuckles]

AH, I'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU

SKATING, BARRY, BUT WE'RE

STILL SORT OF WORKING HERE.

OH, IS THAT RIGHT?

I BET BRIAN SPIRO FROM

UNITED TALENT WOULD BE WILLING

TO TAKE ME SKATING.

I BET THAT-VA-VA-VAVOOM!

WELL, HELLO, DOLLY!

WHO'S THE TROLL?

BARRY CORMAN, I'D LIKE YOU

TO MEET OUR NEWEST CLIENT,

ANGIE VEGA.

ENCHANTE, MADEMOISELLE.

YUCK!

[Geena Giggling]

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO

ACCOMPANY ME TO WOLLMAN RINK,

MY BROWN-EYED GIRL?

GET LOST!

HEY, COME ON!

GET ON THE ICE!

I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE

TO TIE THESE THINGS.

MOM ALWAYS HAD TO DO IT.

[Michael]

YA KNOW, I WAS THINKIN',

IT'S REAL CRAMPED

AT MY APARTMEN WITH ANGIE THERE...

AND, UH, YOU GOT THA BIG HOUSE AND EVERYTHING...

OH, FORGET IT!

LOOK, IT'S NO PLACE

FOR A KID, ED.

I GOT VARIOUS FRIENDS

COMIN' OVER AT ALL HOURS...

AND I STAY UP LATE

AND I PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD...

OH, PLEASE.

STOP MAKING IT SOUND

LIKE THE COPACABANA.

IT'S A ONE-BEDROOM PIGSTY

YOU SHARE WITH VARIOUS

BIMBOS AND A 32-INCH TV.

WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT A LO OF MONEY HERE, AND IT'S NO JUST GONNA BE THESE COMMERCIALS.

THIS KID IS VERY SPECIAL.

LOOK, MICHAEL,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE

RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.

MAKE SURE SHE GOES TO

SCHOOL, STOPS STEALING.

AND DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THAT KNIFE.

[Growling]

ALL RIGHT, TV OFF.

YOU GOT SCHOOL TOMORROW.

I'M NO GOIN' TO SCHOOL.

YEAH, YA ARE.

I AM NOT!

YOU ARE!

I ALREADY KNOW:

EVERYTHING I HAVE TO KNOW.

YA KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN, YOU'RE SMART.

YOU ARE SO SMART.

YOU'RE JUST NO THAT SMART.

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