Lightbulb Page #5

Genre: Sci-Fi, Short
Director(s): Gerry Bruno
Year:
2009
13 min
36 Views


I'm thinking about

myself for a change.

Like you do all the time.

Gina...

...can we just talk about it?

No. Don't touch me.

Gina?

What's going on, amigo?

This is sexy, it

doesn't look like you.

You've got some

very cute clothes.

I've never seen these before.

You should let me help

you make some outfits.

I could spruce it up a bit.

I like them.

And you sleep on these, okay?

These are for decor only.

How did it

ever come to this?

Unbelievable.

Did she call you back yet?

No.

I... I really did it this time.

I'm gonna' share

something with you

that I learned

a long time ago.

Women?

They can't stay mad.

They are emotionally

resilient creatures, man.

Impressive.

They're all f***ing crazy!

But they're resilient.

She'll be back

before you know it.

You know, buddy, it's not

like you got caught cheating.

You know what I mean?

That's a whole other 12 miles

of bad road and STDs.

You know what I mean?

But you can...

you can lie.

You can forget

anniversaries.

You can get drunk, show your

ass in front of the in-laws.

That's all...they'll

forgive all that sh*t, man.

But do not, you can not

get caught cheating.

Bro, they don't like it.

It'll f*** you every

time, trust me.

So in about probably

26...27 days,

Gina will be back.

You want to bet on it?

I'll bet you on it.

Well, you guys have

been really great to work for.

Bren.

Oh, Bren.

You've been

really great as well.

I'm so sorry.

No.

Yes, great.

So, what are

you guys going to do now?

Well, listen,

think of the alternative.

I mean, look at my ex-husband.

Forty-seven years old, he's

got the dick of a teenager.

At least Matt's faithful,

you got that going for you.

I like you and Matt

together, you know?

Please.

No, stop.

I've had it.

Has he always gambled?

Oh, please.

I met him on a Reno

turn, remember?

Oh, yeah, yeah,

you told me that.

Did I tell you that he

and Sam flipped a coin to see

who would ask me out?

No, I don't

remember that.

I should have run the

other way

as soon as i heard that.

I really should have.

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actually reveals

what dogs dream about!

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a fire hydrant!

F*** me!

Where can I get one?

Uh, I got to have one.

Only $19.95,

The Dreaming Dog Watch...

I'm coming

around the bend.

Who's flexible?

Who's a dancer?

Come on!

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah, you like

that, don't you?

It's me, pick up.

Goddamn in

F***! Hold on.

Pick up!

Please!

Sam!

It's Matt. It's Matt.

Yo, what's LIP, buddy?

Turn on channel 28.

What?

I'm really kind

of busy right now.

Goddamn it, turn on

channel 28!

F***, give

me the remote!

What?

The remote!

I'm so close!

Okay, hang on, hang on!

I got it.

Jesus!

Hold on, okay.

OK.

Jesus, you sound hysterical!

Only $19.95.

The Dreaming Dog Watches

available in the top 20 breeds,

and comes with a

money back guarantee!

Look!

They've got a Westie!

- Holy...

The Shepherd!

-...what the...

- All twenty breeds.

The Malamute!

I love it, so does he.

Call now!

Supplies are limited!

Call 1-800-555-DOGS.

That's 1-800-555-DOGS.

- F***ing rich... You...

Call now!

- You there?

So did you

have Mr. Newkin sign

a non-disclosure agreement?

No, we didn't.

You didn't?

Well, that's not essential.

By copying your

design exactly,

Mr. Newkin has exhibited

malice of forethought.

What? What does that mean?

Oh, sorry.

You have a case.

Hot damn.

I told you, man.

Great.

How far are you willing

to go on this matter?

Like a virgin

on prom night, baby!

All the way!

Let's do this!

Sam, I don't think

that's the question

he's asking.

Would you be prepared to take

this on a contingency basis?

No.

I couldn't do that.

But you said

we had a case.

Yeah, but this type

of case can be protracted.

It can go on

for a long time.

But I might consider going

with a contingent contingency.

Good, I want in

I'm in!

What is it?

Contingent

contingency.

I'll write them a letter

If they respond

with a good offer,

I'll take it on contingency.

And I say to the guy,

I say, "Sir, I'm sorry,

but we do not have mints

or gum on this plane."

And he gives me this big

exasperated sigh, he says,

"Do you mean to tell me you do

not have one goddamn mint on

this entire plane?"

Smoker.

Yeah, definitely.

And a jerk.

So Gina, come

outwith us

when we get to Portland.

No, thanks, Randall.

I'm just gonna'

order room service

and take a long hot bath.

I know what

you're going through.

It's not easy.

Tell you what.

I'll bring up a really

good bottle of wine,

and give you a massage.

Have you ever had

a Shiatsu before?

I mean like deep

tissue, just really...

emotions just float out.

The first time I ever

had one, I cried.

Thanks.

Yeah, it's

good, it lets it out

Have you ever had one?

No, Randall.

Sit back.

Just trying to help.

Poor girl.

A cowboy

philosopher once told me,

"If you find yourself in

a hole, stop digging."

This is bullshit.

I know about

these things, bro.

They turn you into

feeling like a

f***ing plucked chicken.

I didn't

ask you to some.

Okay, guys,

let's get started.

If you're going to

be a dick, just leave now.

I'm just saying,

it's not even legitimate.

Hey, good crowd.

It's all f***ing

propaganda if you ask me.

We're all here

for the same reason.

Our lives have gone

out of control.

We all wanted to be big

shots, be rich, powerful,

but without the effort.

A something for nothing

approach to life.

Sounds good to me.

My name is Kelly, and

I'm a compulsive gambler.

Hi, Kelly.

My name is Glenda,

and I'm a compulsive gambler.

Hi, Glenda.

My name is Matt, and

I have a gambling problem.

Hi, Matt.

Hi, it's me,

Louisa.

I signed you up for the real

estate exam next month.

I hope you're

serious about this.

Hey-

I just wanted to let you know

that I'm sending you a check

for the payment to

your credit union.

And, well, when you feel

like talking...I'll see you.

I kept telling myself

something Edison said:

"A lot of people don't realize

how close they are to success

when they give up."

The combo, man.

The shooter.

So did Newkin's lawyer

end up saying forget it?

Yeah.

Essentially.

I mean, it starts out the way

they always do,

"Thank you so much for bringing

this to our attention, but..."

Go f*** yourself, right?

Exactly.

Say good night, Sammy.

Good shot, man.

You sell any

LA-Z-BOYS lately?

I am in danger of

being employee of the month.

That's good.

Well, I'm a**hole of the day.

I think I could get

used to working there,

and then wake up suddenly

20 years from now...

Oh, please stop

talking about it,

that scares the

sh*t out of me.

Am I gonna' end

up some pathetic,

lonely sixty-year-old framer?

Hey, guys.

Like another one?

Can't hurt.

Okay.

Ice cold ones coming up.

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David Koon

David R. Koon (born March 18, 1947) is a former American Democratic politician who represented District 135 in the New York State Assembly, which includes the towns and villages of East Rochester, Penfield and Webster, and Fairport, neighboring communities located in upstate New York in the eastern suburbs of Rochester from 1996 to 2010. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Lightbulb" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lightbulb_12578>.

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