Lightbulb Page #6

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Oh, yeah.

It's time for a beer.

Thank you, man.

I'm gonna' go

drop the kids off.

"Oh yeah...

...time for a beer."

Yes.

Hold on, Mr. Chow,

it's coming in right now.

OK.

Right.

No battery compartment.

That's gonna' be a

problem.

We need room for

the circuit board.

Well, it is too bulky.

Yeah, I know

it looks bad, but...

Yeah, well, get

your engineers on it,

see if you can, I don't know,

reduce the circuit board.

We'll try.

I'll send you a fax.

Okay. Tonight, yeah?

We'll try.

Excellent. And no buttons.

Oh yeah!

Time for a beer!

Hey!

Where's the fire?

You all right?

Yeah, I'm great.

Jesus, man!

Let me ask

you a question.

Yeah?

We, together, have run

our business into the ground,

my wife left me, we're

working sh*t jobs,

we're completely broke, and

we're approaching middle age.

It's reason to be depressed,

wouldn't you think?

Do I look depressed?

I don't know.

Look! Do I look depressed?

Is this a trick question?

Bro, we've been

friends for twenty years.

We've been through

a lot of sh*t.

But I'm telling you, man, we

are on the verge

of living the dream!

All right, look.

Sammy's here, everything's

gonna' be okay.

Hugs?

You need hugs?

Come on, it's Okay.

No, you know,

I don't need a hug.

You know what I do need?

What's that?

I need a beer.

I like beer.

Do you like beer?

Let's have a beer.

Why don't you

get us some beer.

OK.

All right.

I'll get you a beer.

All right.

You're

acting weird, man.

Unbelievable.

Oh, is there not

an opener over there?

That's too bad.

I flaked.

Hey, why

don't you try this.

You sure you're

all right, man?

You seem crazy.

I feel like I should be

concerned about you.

Oh, yes! I like beer!

That is hysterical.

Oh, yes! I like beer!

Wait a minute.

Where'd you get this?

Where do you think?

You son a b*tch.

How much?

$6.95 retail.

Well, it

sounds amazing, man!

It's an

automatic sound.

There's no buttons.

But the best thing

about it is it surprises you!

It's a total surprise!

What's the minimum?

Five thousand units.

Oh, sh*t.

I can sell that in a week!

Bro, this is it!

This is the one!

This is a chain store product!

This goes everywhere, man!

Jesus Christ!

And hey, you know what?

this

little thing right here,

this is gonna' get

you Gina back, man.

Maybe.

If I can repay her.

Oh, I promise you that.

We gotta' get this out before

Newkin prick-ass

gets a hold of it, right?

Oh, Newkin's not

gonna' find out about this!

We introduce it at

the L.A. Gift Expo.

- L.A. Gift Show, right, right!

- You know what I mean?

We'll kill Newkin!

And hey, look at me!

I'm gonna' get the money

for this, somehow some way!

I just spent the rent

money on this prototype.

Yeah, well, I got it.

I don't care

where, I'll get it.

Oh,

yes! I like beer!

Oh, yes!

I like beer!

Hey-

How are you?

You look great.

You, too.

How are you, Sam?

What's going on?

Well, I'm...summer

time, right?

Pounding nails in the desert,

that sucks man.

Something to drink?

Just water, please.

So, did

you talk to Matt?

You know, he's

doing all right.

He's doing his thing.

But my idea man is reduced to

selling furniture

in a strip mall.

Sam, is that

why you called,

to tell me you're

worried about Matt?

Well, look, I

know he f***ed up, okay?

But don't we all,

right, you, me?

I mean, you should just be

happy that Matt won that coin

toss instead of me, because

I am the train wreck.

I am the f*** up, right?

I mean, you should just call

him, and say,

"Hey, Matt, how are you doing?"

And he'd say,

"Oh, Gina, you know,

I've been doing a

little bit Of this,

a little bit of that."

Try it.

Oh yes! I like beer!

Did Matt

come up with this?

Yeah.

How's he do it?

Oh, you

know, it's simple.

I think it has to do with like

the metal and the...yeah,

I have no idea.

But ur, Gina, this...

is the one, telling you.

So we've been talking

to some investors and...

I just thought maybe

your sister Louisa

might be interested.

Matt ask you...?

No, he hasn't.

He doesn't know I'm here.

Was this his idea?

No, that would be mine.

Yeah, you know, call me crazy,

but she likes to make money.

She wouldn't

touch this, Sam.

No?

No. Trust me. Listen,

I got to get going.

I've got an early check-in and

I haven't packed yet, so...

All right.

I got it, I got it.

I got it.

It's fine.

We've got a

big show coming up,

so...normally I would

never ask this, you know.

I'd never...it's just

that, you know...

Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam!

She wouldn't do it.

No?

Take care, man.

All right.

Hey, come on, give

me a hug at least!

Good to see you.

You look gorgeous.

I loved Sam

like a brother,

but he drives me crazy.

You never knew what he was

going to say or do next.

There wasn't a thought that

entered his head that didn't

come straight

out of his mouth.

He acts on every scheme, and

to hell with the consequences.

What the f***?

This is how we

get Gina's money back.

Sam, is it drugs?

Yes, it's drugs.

No, it's not f***ing drugs.

How stupid do you think I am?

All right, this is it.

OK.

You know, every once in a

while an opportunity

presents itself

right under our nose.

We just have to reach

out there and grab them!

You're acting

weird, brother.

No, don't

worry about that.

The bartender Carl,

he's got this buddy, J.J.

Now, J.J., he's been going out

to the desert and he's been

making an absolute

fortune swiping saguaros.

Okay, we're getting our

seed money

from committing a felony.

It's a felony!

No, no, not really, man.

You see, because

he's got a permit,

and he goes and gets prickly

pears and the barrel cactuses,

and he swipes, you know,

a few saguaros, man.

Now, these things go for

eight hundred dollars a foot,

and then these arms,

these go for four hundred.

$0 this is like

ten, twenty grand!

It's like

two, three tons!

What do you think

you're doing?

Okay, where did

you get all this?

Here's a shovel.

Look at the

size of that thing!

Let's do this.

A four

hundred-year-old plant

you're going to chop down?

That no one's

gonna' miss, buddy.

Fifty yards off

the goddamn I-191

Come on, let's

get out of here.

The Border Patrol is

gonna' be by, seriously.

Come on, I

need your help!

F***!

Look at yourself!

You're a cactus thief!

You're a f***ing cactus thief!

Hello?

Grab your f***ing

shovel and help me dig, man!

Come on, man.

We're desperate, we're

not this desperate!

Come on, man!

Just calm

down for a second.

Come on, bastard!

Come on!

F***!

This is it, man.

I mean, I got nothing.

You know that's not true.

Come on, we've been worse.

Somethings gonna'...we're

gonna' figure this out, man,

and it ain't gonna'

be with this cactus.

All right.

There you go.

That's nuts!

It's nuts!

And you just reached in there

and all of a sudden there was

this talking...

Beer opener.

I want to show Tom.

No, no, I'm gonna' show...

No, Rita,

it's a secret!

A secret!

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