Little Black Book Page #6

Now, does that detract

from what you two had together?

- Does it make it all a lie?

- Yes.

- Why?

- Because omissions are betrayals.

- Omissions are...

- Betrayals. They are betrayals.

- Is that your cell?

- Mine whistles.

Hey, there. It's Joyce Moore.

Do the deed after the beep.

What? The computer called Joyce?

- What did you do?

- Nothing! I was standing over here.

Hey, you got Derek's machine. You

know what to do and when to do it.

Derek, you there? It's Joyce.

My caller ID said you just phoned.

Why did you hang up? I've been

waiting for you to call since last week.

- What?

- Okay. Give me a holler.

If I'm not home, try my cell. By the way,

everyone loved your joke. Bye.

His joke?

What joke?

Derek doesn't joke.

Nobody thinks he's funny.

He's not funny.

What does this mean?

I think it means she's not history.

Is it always like this here?

Hey, you got Derek's machine. You

know what to do and when to do it.

It's Derek. He's checking the

messages. He's going to hear Joyce.

- Erase it! Smash it! Do something!

- How? What am I going to do?

Kill it.

Okay. Okay!

Derek...

- Good! There!

- Yeah!

What?

I've just smashed an answering

machine with a hockey stick.

Damn proud of you!

There were numbers on that machine

that he needed, and I...

I've just smashed it.

I smashed the hell out of it.

God's punishing me.

I hear you, God. You can stop now.

What has happened to me?

- You've discovered truth.

- I've discovered a whole other reality.

They all talk. Dr. Keyes and Derek.

Joyce and Derek?

Maybe they all talk to each other.

Maybe it's just me they don't talk to.

Bottom line is, he's withheld.

- I'm gonna find out what's going on.

- Good!

- Why she was waiting for his call.

- Good question.

- Lf he still sees her, why don't I know?

- Better question.

And if he has nothing to hide,

why hide these old relationships?

- Want me to write these down for you?

- So I guess I need to know...

...what I don't know.

I just need to.

Hi. Joyce Moore?

I'm sorry to call so late.

This is Barb Campbell-hyphen-Dunn

from the Kippie Kann show.

We're doing a segment on chefs

and we'd love to talk to you.

No, I'm not kidding.

Okay. So I'll call tomorrow,

and we'll set something up.

I'd love to talk to you. Bye-bye.

- I'll have a double espresso latte...

- Sorry. No.

- I'll have a double espresso latte...

- Sorry. No.

- What?

- I live in a basement apartment...

...on Malverne. You were hiding in my

doorway last night, smothering a dog.

I was not smothering him.

It's a little game we play.

Double espresso, please.

You already scare people.

- More caffeine will make you a freak.

- Are you trying to upset me?

If I do,

you gonna hold my snout?

I'll get the latte and

you get a chai iced tea.

- We'll switch after.

- Thanks.

I heard that.

Joyce. Hi.

Hi. You're Barb.

How did you know it was me?

Lucky guess.

I'll be watching.

You're a jokester. Yeah.

We have this little thing.

So I've heard amazing things

about you, about the Kaleidoscope.

- From?

- People! Who've been there.

Who know your work.

You have a fan base.

- I'm only on two nights a week.

- Quality, not quantity.

Yes. So tell me about the show.

I haven't watched much, but doesn't

Kippie Kann do more of the...

..."My Wife Slept With My Sister"...?

- "And My Dad."

No, we're trying to revamp

the show right now.

So I pitched this idea,

which is this cook-off.

This is its research stage, where

I pretend that I'm Diane Sawyer...

...asking brilliant questions

while looking chic.

That's funny. You know,

she was in the restaurant last week.

Do you want your latte?

- No. Who was?

- Diane Sawyer.

She was here? In Jersey?

Yeah. The night manager

knows her field producer...

...so they all came in

for this big dinner. She's really nice.

She is?

I've wanted to meet her

my whole entire life.

Then you will.

I believe in destiny, don't you?

I do.

Excuse me.

Coming. Coming. Coming.

- Hey.

- Kipp!

- I'm just in the middle of an interview.

- Okay, yeah, I'm sorry.

Listen, real quick then.

My machine at home is screwed up.

I need numbers.

- Do you know where my Palm is?

- Yep.

That's great. Okay, I need to get...

Could you look up Rafalsky...

- Stace?

- Yeah, yeah.

Can I borrow a pen and a piece of...?

Thank you.

- Thanks.

- Rafalsky.

- Rafalsky.

- And Langenbrunner.

And Langenbrunner.

- Is that it?

- That's it.

- I love you.

- I love you!

- You too, Kipp.

- Oh, hey, listen.

Before I forget,

the password is "Bob."

- Gotcha.

- All right. Bye.

- Okay, then.

- Can I ask you something...

...totally none of my business?

Were you just talking to Kippie Kann...

...about Jamie Langenbrunner

and Brian Rafalsky?

- You know them?

- I wish.

I am the biggest hockey nut

this side of Newark.

We're trying to book

them on the show.

We're doing a whole recruiting

segment. I'm their hockey gal.

You should meet my ex. He's a scout

for the Devils. Give me your Palm.

- It's frozen.

- I can fix it.

No, that's so sweet, but thank you.

Okay, well, why don't you

just hold down the power button.

Go ahead.

Power button?

And you should hear a...

- And, fingers crossed...

- Fingers crossed.

...it will reset.

Okay.

I cannot believe it.

- I can explain.

- You have I Spy.

That's a brand-new program.

Do you mind?

- Having I Spy? No, I don't mind.

- Do you mind beaming it to me?

Here, I can... You want me to

show you there? Just take this.

And...

...voil!

- Voil what?

- Voil, now I've got it.

- But it's his... Mine.

- I want it back. Please?

- No. We both have it.

You have one, and I have its twin.

- You've never done it before.

- Virgin. Damn proud of it.

You're funny.

So I work next Wednesday.

Why don't you come by for dinner?

I will wow you

with my chicken paillard.

How could I refuse?

She had an ease, an openness...

... and the answers.

She had the answers.

Party!

Party!

Kippie! Watch it, here! Watch it!

- Cut it! Phil, cut it!

- Cut it. Reset.

Oh, God, she's coming up.

She's coming up.

- Count to 10.

- Katie!

- Take it easy.

- Okay!

She's coming!

- Seven, eight, nine...

- Carl!

What? You were fantastic.

- That was very emotional. Phil?

- Yeah. I teared up.

Trust me. No one does midgets

like Kippie. Like you.

But everyone does them!

Don't you get it?

- I want something fresh, original...

- It was his idea.

- Ira?

- Now she remembers my name.

Get the midgets out of here.

Here comes the numbers speech.

Can you be midget-wrangler today?

My numbers go up,

your numbers go up.

My success is your success.

Jerry Maguire.

Help Kippie help you!

That was very moving. I think

we should all take a moment to...

- Places! Miserable midgets.

- Moment's up!

- Places! Stand by, intro.

- We're back in one.

- We are just about ready.

- Phil, we're reset.

Okay, stand by, Kippie.

"Kippie's Kute Kouplings Kontinues."

Bob, I want you to move in

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