Little Black Book Page #7

really tight.

Tighter, tighter, tighter,

till I tell you to stop.

Yeah. Right there.

We have a collection of cute couples

to clear things up. I can't believe this.

What are you so worried about?

Do you think my idea is good?

- I mean, enough?

- For the live show? Absolutely.

I'm convinced

they're going to give it to you.

- Why? What do you know?

- Not much. It's just, after staff...

- When?

- Monday.

- Today's the big day!

- I know!

- Go on.

- I overheard them.

Pardon me? Who, who?

- Barb, Carl, Kippie.

- Kippie? Kippie? Kippie's there?

- Yes.

- Continue.

Well, they thought your

"Little Black Book" idea was great.

They're right.

I mean, it's my time.

I put in the work.

I'm next up for promotion.

- It only makes sense.

- It only makes sense.

Little black books. Little black books.

Little black books.

This season's live show will be...

..."Plastic Surgery Nightmares."

Congratulations, Barb.

Our newest producer.

- Way to go, girl!

- Good one.

Now, people. People, people!

Since we are live, I'm expecting

everybody to pitch in, right?

Right. Now that's a wrap.

Too bad, Ira.

Sorry, Ira. Maybe next sweeps?

Sweet.

Naive, but sweet.

You wanna go to dinner?

Can't. I'm on the committee

for the Kippie Kann Kan Drive...

...Kippie Kares for Kids Koalition.

Catch you later.

- Is he okay?

- He's trying to be.

How about you? Urban legend.

- You said APs never get the live show.

- What do I know?

Come with me.

I've got a surprise for you.

Carl, here she is.

Stacy, Kippie liked your idea too.

For the tri-state cook-off!

So if you could ask...

- What's her name?

- Joyce.

- Lf we could have it at the...

- Kaleidoscope Kitchen.

Oh, love the K's.

And Kippie loves cook-offs...

...so you get those pre-interviews in.

Barb, you co-pilot.

- Katie.

- Carl.

- Was he saying...? Are you saying...?

- Congratulations.

My first show!

I mean, it's not a done deal

or anything, but...

At least I'll have something

legitimate to offer Joyce.

This is perfect. It's perfect!

Thank you.

- I'm sorry.

- That's okay. It's fine. I'm smiling.

Now Joyce could bake her cake,

and the audience could eat it too.

Get that out to table four.

Make sure they still have wine.

Which somehow made me feel a little

less like the lying scumbag that I was.

And voil!

- And this is for dessert.

- What?

What did you do?

Joyce.

- Open it!

- "To Barb, I can't wait...

Love, Diane."

I can't believe you!

The night manager got it for you.

It's just a little thing.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Table 24 left this for you.

- Thank you, Gordon.

- It's Pat Burns.

- Head coach for the New Jersey Devils.

Right, I forgot.

You're the hockey gal.

Oh, my God.

Tickets for the playoffs?

You're beloved.

Come with me. They're for

tomorrow night. I mean, if you can.

These are tickets for the Stanley Cup.

You're a crazy girl.

Well, I don't know anyone else

who likes hockey.

Except my little brother,

and I'd rather go with you.

- And Derek will be there.

- I'm... Who?

My ex.

I told you about him.

He works for the Devils.

We'll meet him after the game

for a drink. It's a ritual.

Oh, really?

The beautiful people have arrived.

They come every

Wednesday night to be seen.

I better call the manager and make

sure the camera crew is cleared.

So we're on? Great.

Call me. You have my number?

- Yep.

- Okay, good.

Those are Manolos, you clumsy...

Joyce.

If I were you,

I wouldn't finish that statement.

Stacy?

Lulu!

Get a shot of us.

She produces the Kippie Kann show.

- Why is she calling you Stacy, Barb?

- That's her name.

No, actually, my name is Barb.

The other woman

you met's name is Stacy.

- No?

- Yes.

- She was Barb.

- No.

No... What?

- Enjoy your meal.

- Join us, Stacy-Barb?

Okay, Phillip.

Bring your camera.

How do you know her?

- We did a show last year on bulimia.

- Oh, why am I not surprised?

She does make you

wanna throw up. Or at least me.

- Sorry, I don't really like her, I guess.

- "I guess"?

She used to hang out with my brother,

and I sort of took her under my wing...

...until she took Derek

from under mine.

- He cheated on you with her?

- No, we had split up.

But one day we're talking

about getting married...

...and the next day

we're dating other people.

Taking space.

God, I hate that expression,

don't you?

Hate it. So then?

So then he starts talking to Lulu,

who totally knows the score.

And then she advises me

to see other people.

- Hideous.

- And she meant nothing to him.

She was a fling. I mean,

he wanted us to get back together.

But, in a way,

we're just closer being friends.

You are? Good. You are.

We are, and if not,

there's always the boomerangs.

- The boomerangs.

- Yeah. You know the kind.

You throw them out there

into the world...

- And they always come back to you.

- Yeah, that's right.

He bought us each one, and we

promised never to throw them away.

So no matter what happened,

if we needed to, or wanted to...

...then we could still end up...

- Together.

Anyway, whatever.

Why were we talking about this?

You know, he probably

wouldn't even remember the story...

...never mind the boomerangs, and

then there's me, the romantic sap...

...who still has hers

framed in the bedroom.

How stupid is that?

Not stupid.

It's just a waste of energy.

There's so many other

interesting guys out there for you.

Joyce, you're gonna meet

the right person. Watch.

Or I could end up with Derek.

Wouldn't that be funny?

Right now I'm not rushing

into anything or anyone.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice...

- Shame on me.

- Exactly.

Something about the way she

believed she might get him back...

... made me believe it too.

Thanks, pal.

Hey!

I'm home!

Hey, Bob. How you doing?

Come here, buddy. Come here.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Hey.

- Hey. I heard you from downstairs.

- You did?

- Yeah.

Yikes. Was I that loud?

No, you sounded great.

Kind of sad, though. Everything okay?

Yeah. You know,

work issues, but I'm fine.

- You're home early.

- You say that like that's a bad thing.

No! No, no, no.

I just didn't expect you, that's all.

What happened to the other guy?

A mouse.

- A mouse did this?

- Yeah.

There was a mouse, and,

you know, Bob freaked...

...and forget about it.

- A mouse scared Bob?

Went crazy. You wouldn't believe it.

He chased him onto

the answering machine...

...where the mouse just, like,

taunted and taunted Bob.

So I ran and I got your stick,

your hockey stick...

...and I just smashed it.

- You smashed a mouse?

- Yeah.

No, like I would smash a mouse.

He got away, but I scared him good.

I don't think

he'll be coming back.

- He carry my box down too?

- That's very funny.

No, I did.

I was looking for another phone.

Which you found, in a closed

box marked "personal stuff."

No offense, Derek, but you're

not exactly Mr. Organized.

- You're a mess.

- All right, all right.

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