Little Black Book Page #8

Don't go criticizing homie.

Homie just got home.

- Yo, I was defending your dog, yo.

- Thank you.

Who gets very sad when you're away.

Very needy.

- Oh, yeah?

- He missed you.

- He the only one?

- No, Joyce missed you too.

So you wanna know

why I'm home early?

I'm seeing Robbie Moore's

parents tomorrow.

- That means you're close.

- Bringing the contract.

- Wait, wait. Tomorrow's the playoffs.

- Yeah.

- You're not gonna go?

- No.

If I don't close this kid tomorrow,

Terry's gonna sign him.

I can't miss the opportunity.

You know what?

I'm doing this for both of us.

I'm sorry, Bob. All of us.

I felt like a lying sack of fertilizer.

Knowing what I knew

and not knowing what I didn't...

... and knowing more than anything

that I had to know more.

She called all the time,

begging him, pleading, pathetic.

She called all the time,

begging him, pleading, pathetic.

He played me the messages

on the machine. They were hysterical.

She was desperate.

One angry chef, coming up.

I can't show her that.

I'd be purposely hurting a friend.

Knowledge is a terrible

and a marvelous thing.

It just depends on your perspective.

Think of it this way.

If she knew who you really were,

she'd hate you.

Can you blame her?

And, Stace?

She's not your friend.

Have fun at the game.

Hi, I'm sorry I'm late. I was in

the middle of a crisis with Derek.

I'm helping him with something.

Doesn't he have someone

else to help, like a girlfriend?

Probably a bunch. But...

We agreed not to discuss anyone

we date, unless one of us was serious.

Then we have to,

but he's not, and I'm not.

So why torture each other? You know,

it's just too painful for both of us.

Sorry, that's my cell.

Hello? Hey, I was just

talking about you.

Derek.

So, what happened?

You might think it odd

that I didn't strangle her...

... as I watched her flirt

and coo with my man.

But I didn't.

I was strangely drawn

to their banter.

Curious about this part of his life...

... that I had been completely

dumb to just a few days earlier.

They had a past.

- They had a present separate from me.

- They scored. Listen.

Can you hear?

She didn't know he had a girlfriend,

but she didn't want to.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do.

Finally I asked him to go back

to his old girlfriend.

Finally I asked him to go back

to his old girlfriend.

She called all the time,

begging him, pleading.

- She was desperate.

- Joyce?

- How'd you know her name?

- You mentioned it.

- You did.

- She did.

I did?

Well, yes. Joyce.

He only went back to her out of pity.

Barb was right.

As soon as Joyce realized that

he'd lied to her about Lulu...

... she'd never forgive him.

Which was, after all,

what I'd wanted.

So why did I feel so bad?

- I shouldn't have shown you that.

- No, I appreciate it, really.

It's just so bad, you know.

I probably did call him a few times

when he was with her.

But I was upset. I wouldn't characterize

it as being hysterical or pathetic.

But for her to know...

...that I called means that he told her.

Even if she didn't hear it,

she knew, and that's just so bad.

Joyce, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

- He's in there.

- Where?

Right there, with the orange

sweater and the stupid haircut.

It is stupid.

Yeah.

We stood there...

... both of us sadly in love

with the same man.

Both of us feeling let down by him.

Where are you going?

I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow

for the pre-interview. Good night, Barb.

Wait, Joyce?

Wait. Please. Wait.

- That tape, the Lulu...

- You know what, it's not about the tape.

It's just...

...talking to you and seeing Lulu. All

that stuff brought up bad memories.

And who am I trying to kid,

you know?

A clean break is easier.

You can reset it...

...and it heals, and you move on.

But if you leave things messy

or things don't get put right...

...then it just hurts.

Forever.

It's really time for me

to move away from him.

From all this.

I don't even know who he is anymore.

I should have felt happier

at that moment.

I had won.

But the cost was high

and the victory hollow.

I had taken a good friend

from someone I loved.

And nothing about that felt right.

I needed a reality check.

I needed Mom.

But she was out.

So I settled for Carly.

The line between

right and wrong had blurred.

In my search for truth,

I had become the lie.

Perhaps some secrets

should remain secret.

Okay, you guys are not that bright.

Can I have an amen?

Is everything okay?

It's great. Yeah.

- That makes one of us.

- What's the matter?

I'm not feeling so,

you know, good.

You can't go home.

I mean, I need you.

Today's my show.

I'm a nervous wreck. We're live.

Oh, my God. I totally forgot.

Of course I'll be here.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

You are so beautiful,

like a real producer.

Hello. Headset.

And there was something

I needed to tell you. What was it?

- Oh, right. We're live.

- There she is.

- Yikes.

- Showtime.

Great to see you.

- Welcome to Kippie Kann Live.

- Watch this ladder.

I need a running order.

- Who's on first?

- You.

- What?

- It's for you.

- What is?

- Everything.

Let's see who's at Kippie's door.

Just go with it.

Stacy, oh, come on out.

That's right, Stacy.

Make yourself comfortable.

You look a little confused.

- Know the name of today's show?

- "Plastic Surgery Nightmares"?

No. Actually it's called

"Little Black Book."

Let's fill our audience in

on some recent history.

Stacy's a new member of our staff

who's been using resources here...

...to do her own personal research...

...on her boyfriend, Derek.

And three of his ex-girlfriends.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

She went through his little

black electronic book...

...found his ex-girlfriends...

- I don't believe this.

...and interviewed them under the

guise of being a guest on our show.

- That's my idea.

- Wow, man, too bad.

- Barb's upstairs, if you wanna kill her.

- And they will be.

But not for the reasons they thought.

Take, for example,

supermodel Lulu Fritz.

Welcome to Kippie Kann Live.

You used us. You took my idea,

and you set her up.

- How can you just stand there?

- Camera two.

- You stole my idea.

- It's poetry.

- You stole it.

- I'll share credit. Ira...

...there's a bigger thing happening.

Just watch. God, are you watching?

It was all superficial.

Completely about sex.

I'd have to say no.

That's not from my documentary.

That's right, Lulu. It's all a ruse.

A flower?

- A ruse, a joke. This woman...

- How can you do this?

...Stacy Holt, a member of our staff,

got you here under false pretenses.

- Her name's Barbara.

- No, the woman producing is Barbara.

The woman beside you is the current

girlfriend of the man you once dated.

- Stephen?

- Derek.

Camera five. Doorbell.

Camera five. Doorbell.

Another woman scorned,

and she doesn't even know it yet.

Come in, Dr. Keyes.

Welcome to Kippie Kann Live.

Drama, pathos, life unfolding.

- It's good.

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