Little Fockers Page #8

cognition, Samantha.

E... E...

E? I need to start over.

Okay, Henry,

let's see what

you've chosen to draw.

What is it?

What did he draw?

Dad stuck Grandpa Jack

in the wee-wee last night.

Because he's old.

I'm sorry?

What did he say?

I didn't hear him.

Something about

Grandpa Jack having a cold.

So tell me about

your parents, Samantha.

Tell me about

your parents, Prudence.

That's my girl.

Wanna tell me

about your family?

My dad is a great guy.

Thank you, buddy.

But Grandpa Jack makes him

really, really scared.

So he acts all crazy

when he's with him.

Like he tried

to cut the turkey

with Grandpa's big knife

and he slipped

and he cut his finger.

And he was like, "Oh, sh*t!"

Oh, he's blowing

the interview.

She's setting him up to fail

with these questions.

I mean,

Sam's a better tester,

anyway, so...

Well, that's because

she takes after...

Takes after who, Jack?

Let's just say

I've done some

research on twins.

There's a theory that

in certain cases,

one twin gets

an extra chromosome

from the father,

while the other sibling

gets an extra chromosome

from the mother's side.

Hmm.

Sam might be

three quarters Byrnes,

whereas Henry

could very well have

a double dose

of Focker in him.

And what if he does?

My Grandpa Bernie

taught me this.

Pull my finger.

Oh.

Double dose.

Let's go out to the courtyard

for some free play.

I mean, what is

"free-play test"?

How well they hang

on the monkey bars?

I don't think

you get it, Greg.

You know when

prison guards

learn the most

about their inmate

population?

During rec time

in the yard.

I'm sure Prudence is

in her office right now

watching every move

these kids make.

Dad?

Yeah.

Can I please go climb

that big rock wall?

Yeah, okay.

Just be careful,

buddy, all right?

All right.

Do you think

he can handle that?

What's the big deal?

I'm just not sure

you've instilled

the physical confidence

for him to shear

a face like that.

Jack, do me a favor.

Just let go of the reins

a little, okay?

I'll let go, Greg,

when you show me,

once and for all,

that you have

what it takes to lead.

I am in control

of my family, all right?

If I give Henry permission

to climb a wall,

he can climb a wall.

If he says

he wants to climb

the Empire State Building

and I say it's okay,

it's okay,

because I'm in charge.

All right?

I'm calling the plays now.

So you just got to step back

and accept the fact

that I have got this.

Whoa!

Oh, he is such

a brave boy, isn't he?

See, it's not so bad.

It's just a slight fracture.

Okay, thanks.

Hey, Henry,

are you doing all right?

Hey, I came

as soon as I heard.

Prudence told me

there was a little bit of

a kerfuffle over at E.H.S.

Oh, that's an understatement.

Thanks to Greg,

we can wave goodbye

to their educational future.

Jack.

Oh, no, no.

Pru's a forgiving soul.

I think I can

patch things up.

In the meantime,

I got a little something

for Hank the Tank here.

Someone to

keep you company until

you're reunited with Arthur.

What is that?

Thanks, Papa Kev.

Papa Kev?

Yeah, old fraternity nickname.

I told Hank the Tank here

he could call me

by that handle.

You're not Hank the Tank.

Nobody calls him

Hank the Tank.

You wanna be Papa Greg?

No, I am Papa... I'm Greg.

I'm Greg, his papa.

So I don't need

to be Papa Greg.

I don't need to

put a little thing

in front of it.

Paging Nurse Focker.

Pam, we need to talk

for a minute.

Oh, okay. Mom?

Hey, Louis, what's up?

What up, dawg?

Hey, hottie at 2:00.

There's the superstar!

Hey, hi, hi.

Hey!

Oh. Hello.

I have the raddest

news ever!

Really? Okay.

So our VP of marketing

heard how well you did

on your speech last night

and guess what?

What?

He wants us to lead

the Pfosten convention

in Maui next month.

Yeah, that sounds great.

Honestly, I'm sorry.

I'm just a little

distracted right now

'cause my son just

broke his arm and...

Oh, poor baby.

Yeah, so...

You're a super dad.

No, I'm not a super dad.

It is so cute

how involved you are

with your kids.

No, no, no,

that's just what dads do.

It's not like a super...

Louis! What are you doing?

Is this the book?

What is...

No, go. Come on.

In the back, right?

I got them.

Sorry, it's just...

Somebody's grumpy.

I'm gonna make this

brief, Pam-cake.

I'm not getting

any younger.

Dad.

No, I want to make sure

there's someone around

besides me who you can

fully count on.

I couldn't help but notice

how you and Kevin

have reconnected

these past few days.

He's financially secure.

He's great with the twins.

Got a heart of gold.

He's a little goofy,

maybe, in his dressing,

but if that body art

is any indication,

I'd say he's certainly

open to the idea.

What idea?

The idea of a simple

course correction.

A course correction.

Greg, Kevin.

Come on, grumpy daddy!

Come to Hawaii.

Okay.

Okay, grumpy daddy

will think about it.

Yes!

Okay, okay.

Oh! Hey, honey, hi!

Perfect. Pam, this is Andi.

Andi, this is Pam, my wife.

Hey.

Hi, it's a...

It's a pleasure

to meet you.

It's a pleasure

to meet you, too.

Your husband

is a freaking rock star,

but I'm sure you know

how lucky you are.

Yeah.

I'm not.

She's the rock star.

She's a rock star mom

and just full-on,

rocking person.

Oh.

And I'm just a groupie

trying to, you know,

carry her amps.

No, you're... You're...

You're the man.

Everything

all right here?

Yeah, Jack,

everything's all right.

Pam, do you wanna...

Oh, my God.

You must be

the famous Jack Byrnes.

Wow. I have heard

so much about you.

I've heard very little

about you, Miss Garcia.

But I do admire

your cheerleading

photographs.

Henry's doing much better.

We were just singing

an ancient Yanomamo song

about a brave warrior

who falls from a tree

while hunting

for chimpanzee meat.

He's good. Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Andi Garcia.

Pfosten Pharmaceuticals.

And you're Doctor...

No. He's not a doctor.

Not in the Western

sense of the word.

Not in any sense of the word.

You're an investment banker.

Many hats. Kevin.

Hi.

Okay, cool.

Well, I'm gonna

mosey on out of here.

All right.

Wow, you told me she sold

boner medicine, Greg.

You didn't tell me

she is boner medicine.

Pam, that's ridiculous.

You also said

you wouldn't pick her out

of a lineup, too.

Wouldn't pick her

out of a lineup?

Greg, that woman

is stunning!

Oh, he's covering, Kevin,

'cause he didn't want

Pam to get suspicious.

Dad.

Did you see the way

his carotid artery

throbbed when

he looked at her?

Dad.

Give me a break, Jack.

Come on.

Now this is what

I'm talking about, Pam.

I'm sorry,

but this man

cannot be trusted.

Could you

for once in your life

stay out of my marriage?

Greg, come on,

don't get hysterical.

I'm not getting hysterical.

He's getting hysterical.

Look, it's natural

to get a little tempted.

Nobody's tempted, nobody's...

Look, even our dear friend,

the Buddha,

had to pass through

some sorrow

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