Little Fockers Page #9

on his way to enlightenment.

Our dear friend,

the Buddha?

How's he doing?

It's been so long.

Do you ever

listen to yourself?

I try not to.

I speak from the heart,

off the cuff,

like my man, JC,

at the Sermon on the Mount.

I think that's what

you've always

admired about me.

Well, I got news for you.

You're not Jesus.

Well, he may not be Jesus,

but he's a far better

choice for Pam

than you are, Greg.

Dad!

I'm sorry.

Would you stop

with the

course-correction stuff?

No, that's right...

What's the

course-correction stuff?

It's nothing.

I want to hear

all about it, Jack.

You're leading this family

onto rocky shoals, Focker,

and as captain

of the ship,

I'm steering us away

to safety.

Well, you know what?

You're not a ship's

captain, Jack.

We're people.

We're not on a boat,

we're in a hospital. Okay?

We're human beings

in a hospital

and you're not the captain.

Well, I may not be

the captain,

Gregory Focker,

but you're not

the Godfocker!

Good. 'Cause

I don't want to be

the stupid Godfocker.

I'm the Greg Focker, Jack!

All right? I am Greg Focker!

And by the way,

Dr. Bob told me you offered

him the job first.

Nice to know I was

your sloppy seconds.

You spoke to Dr. Bob?

Yeah, I did, Jack.

Had beers with him

last night.

He's in town

for a convention.

That's it. You're done.

You're done,

it's over, that's it.

You know what?

You can't tell me I'm done

because I already quit.

You're done.

I'm getting off the wheel.

What wheel?

The wheel!

The little hamster wheel

that we're all running up

to get a little taste

of your little water thingy!

Just, please,

approval! Approval!

What the hell

are you doing?

Please! Give me some

of the Jack... Yeah.

It's like a metaphor

for your approval...

Thank you for

clearing that up!

What are you even

doing here, Kevin?

I'm trying to help.

Why don't you get on

your stupid monster yacht

with your bubble-butt

Russian girlfriend

and do Jell-O shots

off of Deepak Chopra's butt?

Greg, don't drag Deepak

into this. Please, Greg.

Hey, Dina. Jack had

a heart attack two weeks ago.

Adios, folks!

Going down.

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah.

Need a ride?

Hey, it's Pam.

Leave me a message.

Hey, I'm gonna

sleep over

at the new house tonight,

all right?

I just can't deal

with your dad right now.

Are you sure

you're gonna be okay?

Yeah, I think I just

need to clear my head.

Thanks for the ride.

No problem.

Why am I the bad guy here?

Greg was the one

who was being dishonest.

Oh, please. All Greg

did was downplay

that woman's looks,

so Pam wouldn't be jealous,

and you know it.

You know you did

the same thing

with that gorgeous

double agent in Helsinki

during the Cold War.

Oh, you're still bringing up

Aatukka Kokkonen.

I told you her beauty

was privileged information.

It was a matter of

national security.

Oh, yes.

Like your heart condition?

Listen, Jack.

Greg cares about his family

just as much as you care

about yours. All right?

Pam?

Don't be mad. I totally

don't want to harass you.

You just seemed so sad,

I had to bring you

some treats.

Oh. Wow, thanks.

Some Chinese food.

Little wine.

No offense,

but does Pam

even realize

how dope you are?

Oh, yeah, no.

I think she thinks I'm dope.

It's just, you know,

it just changes

when you have kids,

you know, because

everything becomes

focused around them.

Totally. And I'm sure

you're like,

"Hello! Can I have

some fun, too?"

Yeah, no. I mean,

it's fun, but it's just

a different kind of fun.

More wine.

It's not like

old single fun,

where you go out.

It's more like wake up

in the morning at 6:00,

make the kids breakfast.

You know, that kind of fun.

I love it. I mean,

they're so cute.

Like, the other day,

Henry came in

and he had his little

top hat on and said,

"I'm the mayor

of the kitchen."

Oh, he's gonna be the mayor?

Just out of

nowhere he got this idea

he wanted to be the mayor.

And then he came in

and he said,

"And here is a proclamation.

You cannot use

the 'frigerator."

And he had a sash on.

I think I have

a picture of it.

Yeah. I mean, I'm biased,

but he's very creative.

I'm going to

step out for a bit

and get some milk

for the morning.

Don't, Jack. We both know

that's not true.

I don't know why

I still think I can

get anything by you.

Mmm.

I'm going to find Greg.

I'm going to bring him home.

You know where he is?

I have an idea.

And for the record,

nothing ever happened

with Aatukka Kokkonen.

Aw.

And this is

the play that she wrote

called Tropical Seas.

They're so cute.

Yeah. They really are.

That's you!

Yes. I am

an algae-seaweed-type plant.

You know,

I got to go home.

Yeah, I totally get that.

Andi, Andi, no, no, no.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Andi, I think I gave you

the wrong idea. No...

Greg, ever since

we tag-teamed

on that enema,

I've wanted you.

It was just an enema.

Really, I think you're

idealizing the enema.

Andi, you know what,

I think you might have had

a little too much wine.

Wine is fine, papi!

I took a few Sustengo.

You took a Sustengo?

Why would you do that?

That's crazy.

I'm gonna call a cab.

Can I see more pictures

of your kids?

Definitely not. You can't...

You got to put

your thing back on.

Don't be a grumpy daddy!

I'm not being a grumpy...

You got to...

No, Andi!

Andi, give me the phone!

You want it?

I do want it.

Come and get it.

I want... I...

Andi, it's not funny.

Let's go swimming!

Andi, no,

it's not a pool.

Is it heated?

Is there a grotto?

No, no, it's a pit!

Andi, don't do this.

Come on!

Put your clothes

back on. All right?

Andi, no!

That's not nice!

You don't throw

people's phones

in pits, okay?

You're mean!

Andi, put the clothes

back on! Come on!

I hate you!

Belly flop!

You really don't know

where Greg is?

Honey, I struck out.

I guess my skills

just aren't what

they used to be.

Look who it is.

There they are!

Hey, Kevin!

Kevin.

Quite a shindig.

Well, you only

turn five once.

Or twice, in this case.

Now, I've got a little

surprise for you, Jack.

Gustavo?

Is that who I think it is?

You'd better

believe it.

Jinxy!

When I heard about

your health issues

last night,

I knew I had to

fly him out here.

Kevin, incredibly

thoughtful of you.

Thank you.

How come Daddy's not here?

Is it because

I was mean to him?

No, honey,

absolutely not, sweetheart.

It's because

Grandpa was mean to him.

But he's coming! He's coming.

He will be here, okay?

So, let's go

have some more fun.

All right? Let's go.

Let's go see

what else there is.

Just wait one sec!

Gay!

Gay!

Gay?

Dad.

What's that hole?

Why are you so muddy?

Where is everyone?

They're at Kevin's.

The party's over

at Kevin's.

I got to get over there.

The kids' party's at Kevin's?

I thought you were in Spain.

I was, but I can't miss

my little gazugas

turning five.

How are you?

Hey! Oh, man.

I'm so sorry.

I was so messed up

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