Little Johnny - The Movie Page #2

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Aahh...You shitting me

Yeah...Yeah...I agree

What's the world coming too when

a boy sacrifice's his dignity,

for a member of the opposite sex?

- Come on...let's go before i vomit..

- Yeah...

Erm...

Why would yo want a fancy smancy bicycle,

when you can't afford a packet of bubble-gum?

So Mary...Who's it gonna be?

Not you Jason, it's never been you

And even when it was...it was him...

He thinks he's a big man

A Rebel...

But tell me Johnny, what are you Rebelling against?

So...What have you got...Huh?

You wanna go to Harrison?

Take me anywhere you want Johnny

Argh...Get off me you...creep

Get a room!!!

What a riot, you freakin' fairy

What's the world coming too when your

best friend get's all fruity and...and...

Come on...forget about it,

you'll never be able to afford it

Wheels like that are for the rich

and not for the like's of us

So...

Be happy with nothing...celebrate your poverty

Live for the humble victory's in life,

eat Rice like the rest of the world...

Dear...Santa...

You must be surpised that

i'm writing to you in March,

it being so soon after Christmas and all

Well, i would very much like to clear up

certain things that have occured since last year..

When i wrote you my letter,

I asked for a Bicycle, an Electric Train Set,

a pair of Roller-skates and a Football

I racked my brain studying the whole

year and i did pretty good at school

I'm not lying to you, there was no one in my

entire neighbourhood that behaved better than me

WHAT BALLS YOU'VE GOT LEAVING ME A

F***ING YOYO, A WHISTLE AND A PAIR OF SOCKS

And you gave that prick Jason all the stuff i wanted

And let him brag all over school about it

Don't let me see you trying to cram your

big fat arse down my chimney next year

I'll be waiting...

I'll mess up your stupid Reindeer and scare them away

so that you have to walk back to the f***ing North Pole

just like i have to walk to school because

you didn't think i deserved that f***ing bike

F*** YOU

Ah...sincerly Little Johnny

- Morning Mum

-Good Morning Darling

Why you rubbing that stuff on your face?

- To make myself beautiful

- Oh..okay...

What's the matter Mum?

Giving up?

When Little Johnny wanted something

badly enough, he'd do anything to get it

He was a born entrepreneur, who was

pretty damn clever when he put his mind to it

Johnny...What have you done with

my bleeding power drill

Hello Johnny

Hello Father....

Well, you two certainly make a nice picture...

What's your Doggie's name?

I call him Porky...

Porky!!! That's an unusual name

for such a cute little Doggie

But why do you call him Porky?

Because he f***'s me Uncle's Pig...

Oh...er...Well i just stopped by to see if anyone

you know, would like to enter our Talent Quest?

Here, take this flyer...

Contest!!

Money!!

Oh yes...

Real money?

It says so at the bottom

Must be off...Good-day now...

# Everywhere that Mary went,

Mary went, Mary went

# Everywhere that Mary went,

the Lamb was sure to go

Wasn't she just lovely...Give her another

round of applause, Ladies and Gentlemen

And now we have Little Johnny...

Who's going to do some impersonation's i believe

Would you give him a big hearty Gallangatta welcome

Little Johnny....

Ahem...Ladies and Gentlemen...

My Uncle owns a farm, just outta town

And nearly every weekend i..i go out

there and help him

Today i would like to share with you

my impression of some of the

many sounds i hear on my Uncle's farm

Ahem...Hey you kids, how many times

do i have to tell you,

get off that f***ing Tractor!!

Thank you...

Gimme me Bow Tie...

Mum will kill me if i lose that

Really...

Well you had better listen up ya stupid Jarmuck

I can't give it back...But you can...get

it back if you know what i mean?

Pleasure doing business with ya

Oh yeah...If you feel like singing like a Canary,

remember this Cojean is coming to kick ya ass

But why doesn't he sell the place

and get another job for goodness sake?

He loves the farm, he can't help

that there's been a drought for 2 years

You'd think the bank would understand

I mean potentially, the farm can earn more

than than enough to pay the mortgage

Hmmm...Potentially yeah....But realistically

the bank's only intrested in getting there money now

So Kevin better think of something or he'll loose the farm

Uncle Kevin...

Yeah mate...

What's the difference between potentially and realistically?

Hmm...Okay, Go inside and ask Auntie Mavis if

she'd have sex with the mailman for a million bucks!!

Auntie Mavis...

Yes Darling...

Would you have sex with the mailman for a million bucks?

Yes, with the way things are at the moment

i guess i would

She said, she would Uncle Kevin

Jesus!!...Alright then, now go and ask

Cousin Cheryl if she'd do the same thing

Cheryl...

Yeah what...

If someone paid you a million bucks,

would you have sex with the mailman?

Ahh...Duh...For a million bucks of course i would

She said, she would too

Yeah, thought so...well there you go then mate

Potentially were sitting on 2 million bucks..

But realistically, i'm just living

with a couple of whores...

...Pear shaped organs, and connected to it at

the top are the Fallopian Tubes

And the two Ovaries

This is the information which you Dad,

should clearly understand

Before you can pass on correct knowledge to

your child, when he is old enough to understand

So...there you are class

That's what happens in sexual intercourse

and that's how baby's are made...

Now, has any one got an example from nature,

or real life..about what we've been talking about?

Yes Roger...

Yeah, yes..yes..yes..I was climbing a tree

yesterday and i saw a Nest with baby birds in it

Excellent example Roger...

Yes Mary...

My Mummy had a baby last year, it

was my little brother Tommy

Very good Mary...

Yes Johnny...

I was watching the Lone Ranger on TV and

he was surrounded by hundred's of Indian's

And they all attacked at one time...and he

killed every one of them with just two guns

Well that's good Johnny...but what

does it have to do with sex education?

Well..it will teach those Indian's not

to f*** with the Lone Ranger Miss

Oh..Come in Boris

Look everyone...

This is very exciting...We have a new

student all from Leningrad...Russia

His name is Boris...

say Good Morning Class...

Good Morning Boris

Now Boris...would you like to tell

us a little about where your from

In Russia we have saying,

"wierman harleck wasses"

"Butzeep"

Oh!!!..Don't forget your test results...

- Aaawww f***...

Hi Dad...

Hi Mum...

Hey...Hey...Hey...

Not so fast Mister!!

If i remember correctly you got

your test results today...

Well, actually..i don't have em...

What do you mean you don't have em!!!

Well, i did have em...But i leant em to Rog...

- He wants to scare his parents!!!

- WHAT!!!

N..N..Nah!!..Just kidding...

Here they are...

Well at least there's one thing i can say

that's good about Johnny...

- Oh..What's that?...

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