Little Johnny - The Movie Page #3

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- With results like these,

he couldn't possibly be cheating!!

Now children..Who'd like to come up and tell

the class what they did on the weekend

Well Miss...Me and my brother Billy

went down to the creek a few times

And what did you do at the creek may i ask...Swim?

Well..well, our favourite thing to do

is to catch Frog's Miss

Really...And what do you do with them?

Well Miss, what we do is stick Fire-cracker's

up their arse, and light them!!!

Rectum Johnny...Rectum

Wrecked em..Blew em to the Sh*t-house...

Roger...Please tell me you did something

more beneficial with your time off

Well Maam, My family and i went to the

beach and stayed at a camping ground

where we met some tourist's, all the

way from Minneapolis..Minnesota

Minneapolis..Minnesota

Can you spell that for us Roger?

Actually Maam...i think they were from...L.A

All right Mary...

Miss Rogers and class

One of the thing's i did on the weekend was go

around to Jason's place and place in his sand box

That sounds like fun...Mary

Now if you come up to the blackboard and can

spell, "Sand". I'll give you a fresh baked Cookie

Correct, Here's a Cookie

Now Jason, If you can come up here

and write "Box", i'll give you a Cookie too

Now Mustafa...

What did you do on the weekend?

Well, Miss one day i saw Mary going over

to Jason's place and i followed her

coz i wanted to play with them, but when i got

there, Jason threw Rocks at me...till i went away

Threw Rocks at you!!!

That sounds like Blatent Racial Discrimination

Now, if you can come up to the blackboard

and write "Blatent Racial Discrimination"

i'll give you a Cookie...

The letter "B" is for Benign

Outstanding Mary..Now can

anybody else tell us what Benign means

Johnny

Benign...

Is what my brother will be, after he be eight

Okay Class...we've had some fun,

Now it's time for a reality check

I have marked your latest tests and apart

from Mary, the results were very disappointing

- Boris...

- Da

In the English language,

a Fibular is not a little lie...

And Mickey, for Science you said,

"H2O was Hot Water and CO2 is Cold Water"

Incorrect...

Errr..Maybe it was

the other way around!! I can't remember...

And for your Science question Jason,

you were asked,"What is a Nitrate"

And you said and i quote...

"Cheaper than a day rate"

It's not funny children...

On this General Knowledge Question...

"How do you delay milk going sour?"

One of you said, "Keep it in the Cow"

Little Johnny...You shouldn't be laughing...

Math Question 5a asked...

"If your Father earned a hundred dollars

and gave half of his pay to your Mother,

what would she have?"

You said, "A heart-attack"

And for being smart...you get a big fat Zero

A Zero!!!

I don't think i deserve a zero Miss...

Well i agree...

But it's the lowest mark i can give you

- Ahem...

- Yes Johnny...What is it?

I don't want to scare you Miss P*ssy,

But just so you know...

Last night my Dad told me that if my

grades don't start to improve

Somebody is going to get a spanking

Good night Darling...sleep well

Mummy...

Yes Billy

Could you sleep here with me tonight?

I can't sweetheart

i've got to sleep with Daddy

He's a big sissy

Mum...c,can you

give me a Dollar for my money jar?

A Dollar...I don't think so Darling...

If you do...

I'll tell you what Dad said to Betty from

next door when she walked

her dog past our place last night

Well then what did he say?

He said, "Your dog's been

digging holes under our fence again"

Hello there sonny...

Would your parents be home?

Well what the f*** do you think?

Do yo know about our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ?

Well, i know that he lives in our Bathroom!!

- He what!!!

- How...

- why do you say that Son?

Well every morning my Dad goes to the

bathroom door, knocks on it

and yells Jesus Christ are you still in there!!

I was going to call first, but i couldn't resist

i just had to see your face...

If i win the race...

i'll be able to get the bike

You know what that means?

You'll have a bike?

It means i'll have to beat Jason...

He's won it for years

But you don't know anything about

Billy-Cart's or racing...

You'll have to do a crash course

Yep....Without the crashing...

Mate you can't get blood out of a stone

I said i was gonna f***ing pay ya

I'm sure you understand Mr.Wilson that our

records must be current in the relation to the

value of this property and all associated assets

Yeah fair enough

You wouldn't mind if i take a look around

Yeah, knock yourself out mate

Just mind that pile of tyres out the back

there's another f***ing snake down there!!

Get up there...F*** ya stupid cow...

G'day there Uncle Kevin

Yeah mate

I'm just going inside to get a glass of

water, then i'll come and give you a hand

You want me to get you anything?

No thanks mate

G'day Roger

Auntie!!!

Johnny!!!

What's that?

That...That's where God touched me

with the Golden Axe

Really!!!

He got ya right in the C*nt!!

Thank you

I'm sorry Auntie Mavis, but don't be embarassed

I saw Grandma's p*ssy one day too

when i was staying over

I think her's was dead...the tongue was hanging out

According to our records, your listed as having two toilets!!

But you only seem to have one, in side

Yeah, but what about the Thunder-box out the back?

What!!...I'd hardly call that a toilet

It's a collection of rusty Corrugated Iron with a

plank of wood, with a hole in it over a rusty bucket!!

There's not even a lock on the door

Mate i've been out here for years now,

no bastard's ever knocked off a bucket

of sh*t the whole time i've been here

I think i've seen enough...

I trust i'll see you in our branch on the 17th, as agreed

Yeah, yeah..right oh

Oh Uncle Kevin...

Uuhh...Oh, What is it mate?

Uncle Kev, do you know anything about Billy-Cart's?

I know a little bit about em...

Yes i have had immortal thoughts about her Father...

Immoral you say!!!

So who is this person?

Could it be the Suzie Fitz-Simmons lass?

No Father...I won't say

Oh, Prehaps twas was that Meridith

the skinny one, i hear about?

No..No not at all

Oh, it must be Betty?...Betty Stenton...

The amount of confessions i get about that girl...

N..No

Oh..Prehaps it's that continental strumpet Angelina...

No Father, forget it i won't say...

Your very tight lipped Johnny and i must

say i admire that in a young man...

But even thoughts can be sinful...and you must atone...

Say 8 Hail Mary's and behave...

So...what did you get?

And who knows where little boys and girls

go when they do bad things?

I do Miss...i do...

Yes Johnny...

They go in the bushes behind the Church-Yard...

Err...Careful Johnny...we may

have to wash you mouth out with soap

...Again

But it's true Mrs. Rogers, Mickey Ramone

showed me his Weener today at the Playground

It remined me of a Peanut!!!

Really...Small was it?

No...Salty

Mum...That man who works for God is here

Oh, Hello Father how nice to see you

Hello Mrs.Murphy i just called

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