Little Nicky Page #15

The crowd stops CHEERING. Valerie is waving her arms for

help. Nicky turns into Adrian during the kiss. Adrian lets

her go. And we hear ADRIAN'S familiar laugh.

ADRIAN:

What? No tongue?

Adrian pulls his head back, his tongue is huge and he turns

into a GIANT BAT. He lets out a huge roar, then flies

around, laughing, scaring people.

Valerie runs over and picks up the flask. She looks inside.

VALERIE:

(whispering)

Nicky. Nicky.

No response.

VALERIE (CONT'D)

You gotta fly out...I know you can do

it.

(still no response)

Do it for the butterflies.

A long beat, then:

NICKY (O.S.)

Butterflies...

And Nicky shoots right out of the top of the flask and lands

on his feet. Adrian lands and stares down Nicky. The clock

is one minute from midnight.

Adrian swoops down. Nicky thinks quick and pulls out the

BALL his Mom gave him and smashes it on the ground. Out of

it forms metal G-d: OZZY OSBORNE.

OZZY:

Hello, New York.

JOHN AND PETER:

Ozzy.

They faint.

The Bat's eyes go wide in fear. Ozzy grabs the bat, his

mouth grows big, and he bites the bat's head off. Valerie

hands Ozzy the flask.

VALERIE:

Put him in, Ozzy.

Ozzy spits the bat head into the flask.

EXT. CLOCK TOWER

The clock reads:
00:23 seconds left.

INT. THRONE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Dad is just a very thin pair of lips and one finger. The

FINGER is going up and down on the lips, making silly sounds.

The Gatekeeper, the Monster, Jimmy the Demon and Lucifer are

on their backs crying like babies.

EXT. NEW HELL RALLY - NIGHT

VALERIE:

Grand Central, Nicky. Start running.

JOHN:

He'll never make it.

PETER:

You gotta kill yourself.

NICKY:

I'll just go to Heaven.

BEEFY:

No if you do something bad right before

you die.

PAUSE. Everyone looks around. Nicky spots Henry Winkler.

HENRY WINKLER:

Aw, man, not again.

NICKY:

Sorry, Henry.

(focuses)

Release the Evil.

Henry is covered in bees once again.

ON NICKY AND VALERIE

Nicky picks up a big rock and hands it to Valerie.

NICKY (CONT'D)

Do me.

VALERIE:

I love you.

NICKY:

I love you.

Valerie smashes the rock on Nicky's head, killing him.

ON CLOCK TOWER:

Six seconds left.

INT. THRONE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The lips and finger are slowing down.

INT. GATES OF HELL - DAY

Nicky triumphantly passes through the wall of fire and it

starts burning again behind him. And now all the BACKED UP

SOULS fall out on top of Nicky.

The Gatekeeper APPLAUDS.

EXT. NEW HELL RALLY - NIGHT

The STAGE, the DEMONS and everything that raised from Hell

now descends quickly into the ground.

INT. THRONE ROOM - NIGHT

Dad's lips form a body around it. Dad FILLS IN.

EXT. NEW HELL RALLY - NIGHT

The good people of New York cheer. We see John, Peter, Todd,

Valerie, Beefy and the Student, who of course is dancing

seductively.

EXT. REFLECTION POOL - CONTINUOUS

Angel is so proud.

ANGEL:

Okay, you just saw my son save the

universe. Right?!

Everyone cheers.

INT. THRONE ROOM - SHORTLY AFTER

Dad and Nicky are hugging.

DAD:

You came through, Nicky.

NICKY:

I came through for you, Mom and the

butterflies, Dad.

DAD:

You're back in Hell now, kid. There's

no butterflies here. If you want

butterflies, you need to be on Earth.

NICKY:

What about you and Grandpa and everyone

in Hell?

DAD:

Nicky, I let my butterflies die once

upon a time and it's never stopped

hurting.

(Dad looks up)

That's right, you heard me, Holly. I'm

still in love with you.

INT. BIRTHDAY CAKE - CONTINUOUS

Angel is shocked.

ANGEL:

Oh my G-d. He's totally talking about

me.

INT. THRONE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

DAD:

And don't think I forgot about how crazy

you get after a few daiquiris.

INT. BIRTHDAY CAKE - CONTINUOUS

FRIEND:

That guy is still a horn dog.

INT. THRONE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Dad turns to Nicky.

DAD:

Listen, I got down low. Your mom's got

up high. You take care of the middle.

NICKY:

I will, Dad. But in the words of Motley

Crue, this will always be my...home

sweet home...

He pats him on the back.

JIMMY THE DEMON:

Sorry to interrupt guys, but it's time

for Hitler's punishment.

LUCIFER:

Let me handle that.

Lucifer walks over to the closet.

LUCIFER (CONT'D)

And I'm not using a pineapple this time.

He pulls out the flask.

ADRIAN (O.S.)

No!

CASSIUS (O.S.)

Don't do it!

He shoves the flask up Hitler's ass. Hitler's face tightens.

HITLER:

Holy Schnit!

FREEZE FRAME, then:

DISSOLVE TO:

ONE YEAR LATER:

Over the skyline of Manhattan.

EXT. STREET - CENTRAL PARK WEST

PAN UP from a moving baby stroller to reveal Nicky and

Valerie both pushing it. We see Beefy walking with them.

Unbelievably happy.

A nice OLD LADY bends down to the stroller.

LADY:

Oh...what an uncommonly beautiful baby.

VALERIE:

Thank yo.

LADY:

Such a little angel.

BEEFY:

Only a quarter, ma'am.

She tickles the baby. It giggles and a small stream of fire

shoots out of his mouth and singes the Old Lady's eyebrows.

NICKY:

Zachariah, say you're sorry.

BABY ZACHARIAH:

(sounds like Nicky)

Sorry.

The Lady scurries away. Nicky and Valerie laugh and continue

walking in absolute bliss. They pass the Preacher who runs

towards us.

PREACHER:

He has spilled his seed! He is

multiplying! Beware the progeny of the

unholy union! We're all gonna die!

The Preacher runs straight into the camera. BLACK.

THE END.

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