Los perfectos desconocidos Page #8

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He overlooked one tiny detail

that he should've told me.

I should've? Why is that?

Why? We've slept together,

spooning,

we've showered together.

If I have a gay friend,

I want to know.

Then I'll decide if I care,

but I want to know!

"I'll decide if I care".

Are you listening to yourself?

Do you realise what you're saying?

Do you realise

what you didn't say?

What's the f***ing problem here?

He can say what he wants.

Or keep it quiet.

If it's okay with everyone,

then I'll shut up.

I'm the weird one, end of story.

Why is anyone "weird" or not?

Let's leave it alone.

Anyone want a gin and tonic?

How long have you been with him?

F***, this'll never be over.

Ana, please, don't you realise

that all this is absurd?

You haven't touched me for months.

I was sure you had a lover,

some slut like Pepe's.

No offense.

None taken.

At least that'd make sense,

it explains lots of things...

What things, Ana?

This is too much, Ana...

Shut up!

I'm sick of you defending each other.

I want him to speak.

How long have you been with Borja?

Are you going to tell me?

A short while.

And how many?

How many what?

How many of "those"

were there before him?

None.

Ana, Borja's the only one.

F*** off, you clown!

Ana, that's enough!

That's enough.

You've made enough of a scene.

Let's go, we'll argue

about it at home.

Yes, in front of the kids.

We'll stand side by side and say:

"Dad's got something

very instructive to say".

What a f***ing ordeal!

"But don't tell the teacher

that Dad likes boys,

or he won't be able to

pick you up from school again".

F***, that's heavy.

Ana, being gay's one thing,

a pederast is another.

Forget it:
Gay, pederast, communist,

jihadi, Trekkie...

What else am I?

Can I say something, please?

Not now. Now shut up.

Eduardo.

Get it.

Hi, Mario.

Sh*t, aren't you calling me?

Sorry, I've been busy.

Did she like the ring?

Very much.

Does it suit her?

Hey, it's no bother,

you can come with her

and we'll adjust it, whatever.

No, it fits "like a glove".

Listen, now's not a good time.

You sure fretted a lot

about the ring.

See how you ought to listen to me?

True. I'll leave you now...

And the earrings?

Did she like them?

Edu?

Man...

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

You don't sound convinced.

See you later.

Edu...

I never wear earrings.

In fact, my ears aren't pierced

Who liked the earrings?

That's enough of this f***ing game!

Do you see what happens?

Things get twisted.

Couples get pulled apart.

Let's go, eh?

It's very late. What time is it?

Why don't you pick it up?

It's Lola.

Then take Lola's call!

But it'll be about my shift.

Answer it.

Blanca...

Blanca! What are you doing?

Blanca, please, give me the phone.

Give me the f***ing phone, please.

What are you doing?

Give me the phone.

Eduardo, I'm sorry, I'm hysterical.

I bought a test at the drugstore

and I don't understand it.

What does a red line mean?

I think it's positive,

but positive for whom?

I don't understand.

No... Blanca!

Blanca.

Blanca.

Blanca.

Open the door, Blanca!

Go away!

What a son of a b*tch.

Listen to me!

Blanca, please, let me explain!

Will you let me speak?

Really, it was nothing.

Open up, please.

Blanca! Blanquita!

Blanca! Sh*t!

Shut up!

It was one night,

it was stupid, we were drunk...

I swear to God...

What are you doing?

Is there any time of day

when you don't have

your dick stuck someplace?

Why? We f*** every day,

even several times

and we're really happy. Why?!

Why?

We just got married, I don't get it.

Blanca... come out of there.

Don't make a big drama out of it.

Try to look on the bright side.

Pig!

Blanca.

I don't deserve this.

Don't be melodramatic.

Bastard, son of a b*tch.

You're going to make a scene now?

It's not that serious.

What's up?

Do you have something to tell me?

Nothing.

Blanca...

Some guy here wants to know

if you've taken your panties off.

Aren't you wearing any?

Did you put your panties on?

Who the hell is Hugo?

Nobody.

Oh, no? It says "Hugo" here.

It's a silly game.

Since when have you

been playing this silly game?

It's nothing, I don't know him.

"I don't know him", she says.

I've never seen him,

we only write.

Ana, don't sh*t me.

I swear, it's just virtual.

Virtual? F*** off!

It began as goofing around, chatting.

Yeah? Then let's goof around

and call him.

No. Let's go home.

What home?

What home?

I've never heard his voice.

He's married too.

What do I to say to him?

No... No, no, no.

Please, no.

I'm begging you.

Hello?

Ana?

Hello, Hugo.

Hello, Ana. What a surprise.

I wanted to speak to you.

Thank you.

And I'd like to see you.

But you said no.

I changed my mind.

Okay, we can meet.

I'd like to as well, you know that.

Well, I have to go now.

Ana? Ana?

Go ahead.

You've got a nice voice,

different to what I'd imagined.

Goodbye, Hugo.

It's pretty, I like it.

I like it a lot.

Do you like this voice, a**hole?

Done. He'll never call back.

Does this change things?

What's the difference if he

fucks you on the phone or in person?

Sorry to tell you,

but you're no one to give a sermon.

Besides, I didn't screw anyone.

You're a pig, Ana.

A pig and a coward.

F***ing over the phone.

The only problem is losing signal

before you come, right?

I'll screw the next one in a hotel,

all brave, like you.

At least somebody

gets your panties off.

I'm leaving.

Yes, go. It's the right thing.

Tell the kids about it,

they'll think it's brilliant.

Stick it up your ass!

No, sorry, you love that.

Wait a moment.

Let go!

Are you wearing any?

What are you doing?

Let go of me!

Didn't you say it was virtual?

What do you care?

No!

Antonio, stop.

Let me see.

No!

Let me see.

No!

Antonio...

Leave her alone!

Let go of me!

I want to see if she has panties on!

I think I have that right!

Antonio, please!

Let me see them!

That's enough, Antonio!

Where are you going?

Let me see.

No!

Are you such a pig

that you don't wear panties?

Get off! Get off!

Pig!

That's enough!

What's wrong with you?

Have you gone mad?

Antonio, touch your wife again...

and I'll tear your head off.

Happy?

What's up with you?

One thing...

Just so you know: I'm the f*ggot.

Answer your f***ing phone, hunk.

What?

Didn't you hear it?

You're a d*ckhead.

A d*ckhead, no, a f*ggot.

Yes.

Did I say it right? F*ggot.

Because you guys say it

loud and clear.

You switched phones?

What for?

Ask him.

The contortionist?

Don't laugh.

Look, I acted gay for a second,

and that's enough for me.

It f***ing sucked.

You drove me nuts, you bastards.

All of you:
"F*ggot! F*ggot!".

That spooning thing...

What's wrong?

What's wrong?!

If I'm gay I have to

do you up the ass?

You're not my type, kid.

And you too:

"I'm not gay, I'm normal".

What? I'm not normal?

Pepe... Listen, I'm sorry.

This conversation sucks.

It's ancient and rancid.

There's gay marriage now,

even adoption. F*** off!

Bawling all f***ing day!

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