Louie Anderson: Big Baby Boomer Page #4

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What do you thinkI'm doing?"

I mean,I can see all of you.

I just can't read anything

smaller than these,uh, Egypt signs in red here.

you never have the glasseswhen you need them.

"Where are you, Louie?""I'm at the hotel."

"What's your number thereon the phone?"

"Won of a b*tch.

"Just hold on now.

"Oh, here it is.

"Seven...

"Jeez, it looks likethey put a 'W' in it.

Are they putting lettersin the phone numbers again?"

You think technology'sgoing to help you,

like the cell phone,the caller I.D.

"'Adolf Hitler'?

"How did that maniacget ahold of my number?

"Oh, that's goingto voicemail.

He's a talker."

People text me now.I text them back.

Halfway through my text back,they text me again,

"Are you okay?"

I call them,

"Hey!

"I need more time!

"Where's the space baron this damn phone?

And 'thanks' is not spelledwith an 'X.'"

And I don't mindgetting old, you know?

I know how it's goingto go for me.

That's a good thingfrom being from a big family,

11 kids.

I'm 10th of 11th,2nd to youngest.

I go home, I see--it's all played out for me.

It's likethat Darwin chart.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, New York.

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

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