Louisiana Purchase Page #4

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that and that and...

Don't mind her.

She stutters.

Very good.

Very good?

She's batting

a thousand.

We're really

interested in some

sheer, clinging,

low-necked overalls

for night work.

You got that type

of thing?

Of course.

Oh, you have, eh?

Somebody

strap me down.

Oh. So that's

the kind you are.

You mean

there's another kind?

[Coughs]

Is that what they mean

by the open door policy?

Well, they're

beautiful.

I'll take them all.

Yes, I would...

All?

Now I know why

all those noblemen

shot themselves.

Say, does fluid drive

come with this model?

That reminds me:
I must

get some vitamin B pills.

Oh, what a country.

Say, come to think of it,

shouldn't you have

a bathing suit?

Why?

The senator

might drool.

Oh.

We'd like to see some

bathing suits.

Filled, of course.

What a racket.

[Wolf Whistle]

Please, Malcolm,

let's dispense with those

long and low whistles...

and the thought behind them.

Chicken under glass.

These are all

next season's models.

Yeah? Let's see

the season after next.

Ha ha. Thank you, Jimmy,

and good-bye.

Wait for me downstairs.

I may be out much quicker

than I think.

All right, but don't

think I'm a dope.

Don't pull nothin'.

Mind reader.

Wha... I thought

we made good-bye.

Well, we make hello

again.

Why?

Is there something else?

Are you kiddin'?

I hate to shop and run.

Besides, if you're going

to tackle the senator,

we'd better have

a rehearsal.

Rehearsal?

How will we rehearse?

We'll go through

the motions.

I'll pretend to be

the senator, and you

pour on the stufferoo.

Stufferoo? Oh, no.

I pour on the stufferoo

tonight.

Oh, no.

Look, I'm the senator.

What are you doing

in my room?

Must I call

the house detective?

But, Senator,

you do not understand.

I have come here specially

to make this visit with you.

Young lady, I know

just what you're

lobbying for, and...

you've got

a beautiful lobby.

But, Senator, I do not

want to lobby with you.

This means very many to me,

alone... like this.

Marina.

Remember,

you're the senator.

Loganberry never

felt like this.

Please, Jimmy,

one man at a time.

First I must get the senator

in a promising position.

Okay, but remember,

after you've finished

with Loganberry,

I want a chance

to blow my brains out.

Well, I've never seen

a cleaner-lookin' bunch

of vultures.

I hope you've thought

of something good.

I've procured the services

of one of the world's

most dangerous women,

including the Scandinavian.

Miss Marina's

in there, sir.

This is it. Thanks, Sam.

Let's take a look.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Wait a minute, boys.

This is to get us out of a jam.

What she hasn't got,

she doesn't need.

What she doesn't need

is good enough for me.

I'll buy that.

I'm not late, am I?

How do you like?

I like fine.

I knew you'd

come through, Jim.

Yes, sir. From here in,

we'll leave it all to you.

Boy, if she was black,

she'd be beautiful.

I'll call the senator

and make an appointment.

Take these. You know

what to do with 'em.

Shoot him

from every angle.

Hello. Give me

Senator Loganberry's

room, please.

I've been with him

all afternoon. We're

practically bosom pals.

Hello, Oliver,

this is Jim.

Jim Taylor.

You know, Louisiana

Purchasing Company,

the one whose

books are short?

Well, this is shorty.

Meet you?

Wh... I'm in bed,

practically. Um, it's...

it's s... s...

18 minutes past seven,

and I got a big day

ahead of me tomorrow.

He's shy.

He wants to be coaxed.

Meet me at Madame Bordelaise's

and I'll give you the lowdown.

I've been telling him

all about her.

Boy, is he steamed up.

You mean you're ready

to turn state's evidence?

Oh, sure. Anything you want,

from soup to nuts.

Well, that's fine. Fine.

You see, I gotta get back

to my home state...

and start campaigning

for re-election,

or I'm liable to lose

my senatorial seat.

Well, you've got

an awful lot to lose, Senator.

Okay, it's a date.

Boys, I have to give Marina

a final polishing job,

so meet me there, will ya?

You think I got

the, uh... ants?

Honey, you're

covered with 'em.

I have a lot of fun with you

when you take me shopping.

I have a lot of fun

when you take me.

Good. I like two people

should have fun together.

Well, we could have a lot

of fun together, but...

business before business.

You see, you're my private

secretary.

You tell the senator

I'll be a little late...

and that you can explain

things till I get there.

What I explain?

You're not going to explain.

When he opens his books,

you get to work.

I'm counting on your figure

to make him forget ours.

You like my figure?

There are a lot of things

I like about you, only...

Only what?

Well, there are some things

I don't like.

What?

All those noblemen,

for one thing.

Oh, but they are dead.

Yes, but there they are.

But you are different.

You are not noble.

I see. You never

have any trouble

with the peasants.

No.

No. Heh heh.

[Bordelaise]

Ah, good evening,

Senator.

Good evening.

Please go in. Go in.

Say, what is this?

Where's Taylor?

He's to meet you here.

This is our private

dining room.

Oh, yeah. I never been

in one of these before.

Ha-ha.

Won't you sit down,

Senator?

Thanks.

That was awful good pastrami

I had yesterday.

Oh, I'm glad

you liked it.

Pardon me. Are you

Madame Bordelaise?

Yes.

I'm Marina Von Minden.

Is Senator Loganberry here?

Yeah, that's me.

I'm Mr. Taylor's

private secretary.

Oh.

He will come later.

While we are waiting,

I can explain anything.

Oh, well, won't you

sit down 'til he comes?

Thank you.

[Bordelaise]

While you are waiting,

Senator,

may I send you up

some of your hot water?

That's a good idea.

Will you have some?

Hot water?

Yes.

No, thanks,

I just have my bath.

Uh... well,

this isn't for bathing,

it's for drinking.

No, thanks,

I do not like it.

Could I

offer you something else?

Some cold water, maybe.

Hot water? Cold water?

I think you are old foof.

Huh?

Oh, old foof!

Oh, yes.

We have very good

old foof. 1880.

I'll send it right up.

What is this old foof?

I hope it's nothing

intoxicating.

They tell me so many girls

drink liquor nowadays.

Not me. I believe in...

probation.

Uh, pardon me.

What sort of an accent

is that you have?

Oh, that's Viennese.

Oh.

I'm not here very long.

I see.

You, uh... live here

with your family?

No. My mother's

still over there.

I can't

bring her over yet.

Why not?

Those dirty, stinking

immigration laws.

Immigration laws.

I wrote them.

You?

Perhaps you could

bring her over here.

Oh, sure I could.

Like that.

Really?

But she'd have to

have $500.

Oh, she'll have that,

all right.

I'm getting it tonight.

Oh. Well, uh...

what is her name?

Countess Maritza Von Minden,

32 Josefstrasse, Vienna.

32... Josefstrasse?

Uh-huh.

[Whispering]

Josef... Strasse.

Uh, how do you spell that?

Yaht-O-S-E-F... Strasse.

Yaht?

Yaht.

You better write it.

Your mother

is a countess?

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