Louisiana Purchase Page #5

---

How did that happen?

Very simple.

My father was a count.

Oh.

Well, that sounds

reasonable.

I'll send a wire tonight,

and she can come over

as a visitor...

under my protection.

How's that?

Oh, Senator.

Oh, you didn't

have to do that.

[French Accent]

Ahem. Senator Loganberry?

Yeah?

I have the honor

to present myself.

I am Madame Bordelaise's

head waiter. I am Jacques.

Hiya, Jacques.

Madame Bordelaise told me

to take good care of you,

and I am going to give it

to you... good!

Observe. Voila!

My staff.

Pierre, Albert, Robert...

and, uh... polar bear.

They certainly give you

good service here.

Five waiters for a glass

of hot water.

Albert. This way.

Senator. Observe.

What is that?

This is pure Mississippi

River water.

Oh.

Temperature is

as you wish?

Yeah,

that's about right.

Mississippi

River water, huh?

Uh-huh.

Would you mind

putting a squirt

of lemon in it for me?

A squirt? A squirt!

A lemon? Certainement.

Oui oui. Tout suite.

Lemon! Voila! Voila!

Take it on ze lam.

Warm it up out zere.

[Indistinct Chatter]

Lemon? Ha-ha-ha!

Lemon.

[Jimmy]

A little hot water for

the senator, polar bear?

Oh, yes.

Little hot water.

Very little.

Pierre, a little vitamin A

for the senator. Thank you.

Albert, a little pinch

of salt for the senator.

A little pinch of salt

with a slight gin flavor.

Robert, a little

squirt of lemon.

The everlovin'

squirt of lemon

for the senator...

and stir well before

tasting. Ah ha ha.

I taste.

Monsieur. Hot water

for the senator,

and the old foof

for the mademoiselle.

You taste, please.

Pure Mississippi

River water, eh?

Ah.

You sure?

Look, there's a piece

of the levy.

Gulp! Uhh...

uh... whew.

That's a little hot.

The senator will blow on it

or fan it with his hat.

Yes, that's better,

but it tastes different...

from what I had

yesterday.

It don't seem to be hot,

but still it burns

going down.

I guess it's stronger.

That's the "whitamin"

content.

It has the "whitamins"

S, O, U, S and E.

Yesterday we have on hand

only the Missouri water.

The Missouri water

is much weaker than

the Mississippi water,

but you prefer the Missouri...

No, I'm beginning

to like this.

[Jimmy]

Oh, you make me so happy.

Oh. Very happy.

Hey!

Oh. Don't worry, Senator.

I'll take it off your check.

Vamoose. Amera-cays.

[Loganberry]

Oh... oh... oh, Jack.

Monsieur?

Some more hot water.

Ah-ah!

One more of these and he'll

be higher than the B-19.

[Loganberry]

I think I've seen that

waiter someplace before.

Oh, Jack, haven't I seen you

someplace before?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe it was Paris,

where I was head waiter

at the Petite Poulet?

No, I never been to Paris.

Maybe it was

Washington.

That could be it.

Washington.

Washington. Let's drink

to Washington.

To Washington, B.C.

Washington... [Mumbles]

Gulp! Washington.

Every time I think

of Washington, I could cry.

There's a couple of guys

in Europe who feel

the same way.

[Crying]

Oh, don't cry,

please.

I was just feeling

a little homesick...

for Washington.

Oh.

I don't know anybody

in New Orleans.

Everybody I try

to get in touch with...

doesn't want to see me.

Well, I know

how you feel.

I don't recognize

many people here either.

You don't?

No.

I just work

for Mr. Taylor.

Yes?

After I finish my work,

I go home right away...

so I can worry

by myself.

That's the saddest story

I ever heard.

I'm lonely too.

Why, even when I

get up in the senate

to make a speech...

I'm all alone.

? You're lonely?

Yeah.

? And I'm lonely?

? So why can't we?

? Be lonely together?

? The night is young

and while it grows older?

? We can forget?

? Crying on

each other's shoulder?

? The sky's cloudy?

? 'Cause we're lonely?

? But soon we'll see?

? A change

in the weather?

? Two lonely hearts

beating as one?

? Can be miserable?

? And still have a lot of fun?

Ah ha-ha-ha.

? You're lonely?

? And I'm lonely?

? So why can't we?

? Be lonely together?

? The night is young

and while it grows older?

? We can forget?

? Crying on

each other's shoulder?

? The sky's cloudy?

? Cause we're lonely?

? But soon we'll see?

? So why... see?

? A change in the weather?

? Two lonely hearts

beating as one?

? Can be miserable?

? And still have a lot

of fun??

Oh, say,

that was beautiful.

Oh, really?

Oh, Jack!

Some more hot water!

Oh, Jack!

Some more hot water!

First time the Mississippi

ever emptied into a senator.

[French Accent]

Zere you are.

Uh, thanks. Oh, golly.

I wish I could remember

who you remind me of.

Oh, don't worry, Senator.

It will come to you.

- [Hiccup]

- Don't reach for it.

It'll come to you.

I guess the Mississippi

[Hiccup] is repeating on me.

Sounds more like

the levy eez breaking.

Mademoiselle, I have

a telephone message

for you... private.

You will pardon me,

Senator?

Oh, sure.

Go right ahead.

I've run out of

conversation anyhow.

We're all set.

All you've gotta do...

is get on this guy's lap

long enough for us to

take a picture.

Do I got to?

He's such a sweet man.

Do you want me to spend

my life in jail...

or floating

down the river in

a barrel of cement?

No, Jimmy.

Then give him the works.

Okay, I'll give him

the works,

but I don't like it.

? Oh, my darling

Nellie Gray?

? Oh, my darling

Nellie Gray?

? They have

taken you away?

Mmm. Was it anything

important?

No. It is Mr. Taylor.

He say excuse him,

he'll be here

in 10 minutes.

Mr. Taylor?

He wanted to see me

about somethin',

didn't he?

Oh! Oh, goodness.

Goodness.

What's the matter?

I got a ruin

in my stocking.

Hmm?

Look.

Oh! You think

that's anything? Look.

Ha-ha! Oh, say,

maybe we ought to have

something to eat, huh?

[Loganberry]

Uh... oh, Jack!

Oh, no.

Ain't you hungry?

No, I am on a diet.

Oh.

[Crying]

What's the matter,

another stocking?

No, I've got something

in my eye.

Oh, that's too bad.

Maybe I ought to get

a doctor.

Oh, no, Senator.

I think maybe you

can get it out.

Have you got

a handkerchief?

A handkerchief?

I had a handkerchief.

What did I do with it?

I got it here somepl...

Here it is.

Uh... which eye is it in?

I think it's this one.

I don't see anything.

Maybe it's

the other one.

It must be

the other one.

I think it's better

if you sit down.

Oh.

And I also sit down.

Now can you see better?

Oh, yeah, I think

I see somethin'.

How's that?

That's much better.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Say, this is funny,

isn't it?

What?

You're sitting

on my lap, ain't ya?

Oh, yes.

That's what I thought.

Do you like it?

I love it.

Uh, what was that?

Oh, that,

like a big flash?

Yeah.

That was love.

Oh. Say, let me sit

on your lap, will ya?

Oh, no. No.

I just want to try it.

I never sat on a girl's lap.

I just wanna try it.

Are you all ready?

Here I come. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

[Laughing]

Are you comfortable?

I don't mind it a bit.

How do you feel?

I feel just like

Charlie McCarthy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes