Louisiana Purchase Page #6

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Hello, Mr. Bergen.

Hello, Charlie.

Am I wrinkling your dress?

No, I don't think so.

I don't want to wrinkle

such a pretty dress.

I'm glad I'm not

wrinklin'- in'- in'- in'.

No.

Heh, heh. Are you...

Are you... Are you sure...

I'm not too heavy for you?

No, not for me.

I'm afraid I'm too heavy.

I weigh almost 200 pounds.

I... Oh ho-ho!

I... You mustn't do that.

I...

[Jimmy]

Peeping toms. Now, you were

sitting right there,

ze young lady was

sitting on your lap,

your heads were together,

you were making love,

and you were making

that $500 smile.

Close-up, close-up.

Follow me.

[Loganberry]

Were we like thi...

There goes love again!

You get everything

you need?

I got him from every angle

in the U.S. Camera Guide.

Okay.

Oh, Senator?

How about a little nightcap?

- Nightcap?

- Yeah, just try this on

for size.

Ooh! I just happened

to think of somethin'.

What?

I just remembered

who he reminds me of.

Who?

Jim Taylor.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Yeah.

Jim Taylor?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes.

If you didn't

have a mustache,

you'd be the spittin' image

of Jim Taylor.

Oh, you mean like this?

No, wrong again!

[Laughing]

I've bought you a costume.

Wait until you see it.

You'll be the sensation

of the Mardi Gras.

Will I?

Oh, what's wrong, Marina?

You should be very excited.

Think of it. Mardi Gras

comes only once a year.

?? ["Louisiana Purchase"]

?? New Orleans, New Orleans?

? Louisiana purchase

I'll tell you what it means?

? It means I'd like

to sell you New Orleans?

? Come on, come on

and you all can go to town?

? Way down in New Orleans?

? Louisiana salesman

with nothing in his jeans?

? That's why I'd like

to sell you New Orleans?

? Come on, come on and do all

the things there are to do?

? In New Orleans?

? Where'd ya think

that heat comes from?

? That rhythmic beat

comes from?

? And that red meat comes from?

? New Orleans?

? Louisiana purchase

I've told you what it means?

? So won't you let me

sell you New Orleans?

? Come on, come on,

come on, come on along?

? Come on way down

to New Orleans?

? Louisiana purchase

I'll tell you what it means?

? It means I'd like

to sell you New Orleans?

? Come on, come on and do all

the things there are to do?

? In New Orleans

New Orleans?

? Where does

that heat come from?

? That rhythmic beat

come from?

? Where does that heat

that rhythmic beat?

? And that red meat come from?

? Louisiana?

? Loui-Louisiana?

? Come on along

come on along, come on along

then you can go all to town?

? Way down in New Orleans?

? Louisiana purchase?

? I'll tell you what it means?

? It means I'd like

to sell you New Orleans?

? That new, new, New Orleans?

? Where do you think

that heat comes from?

? [Scatting]?

? Where do you think

that beat comes from?

? [Scatting]?

? And that red meat comes from?

? [Scatting]?

? New Orleans?

? Louisiana purchase?

? Yeah, New Orleans?

? I've told you what it means?

? So won't you let me

sell you New Orleans?

? Come on along

come on, come on?

? Come on along?

? To New Orleans?

? To New Orleans??

??

[Bordelaise]

Look, there's Jimmy. Jimmy!

??

Oh, Jimmy!

Pause, James!

??

Long live King Taylor!

??

Here, press this for me!

??

Hey, what is this?

??

Five hundred dollars.

My payoff!

??

Hey! Hey!

??

[Indistinct Chatter]

??

To Mardi Gras! To Mardi Gras!

To Mardi Gras!

??

[Indistinct Chatter]

[Laughing]

I want you boys to be the first

to know, now that we have

Loganberry where we want him...

and jail isn't staring us

in the face, Emmy Lou and I

are gonna get married.

Well,

congratulations!

Good for you!

I love him so much,

I could just die.

Uh-huh! She's always saying

that, but she never does!

[Laughing]

Senator, I've been

looking all over for you.

I haven't

thanked you enough.

Now, you...

You'll have to

break yourself

of that habit.

Why?

Don't you like it?

It's from my heart.

Well, I can't help where

it's from. I've got to

be a little careful.

You see,

I'm a dark horse.

Well, you look

all right to me.

No, you don't understand.

That's another expression...

for somebody who thinks

he can be president.

President!

Yeah, I've been a dark horse

for the last nine elections.

Ever since you were

a little pony?

[Giggling]

Yeah.

They tried to give it to me

in 1940, but I outsmarted 'em.

Uh-huh.

But next time,

I think I'll have a chance.

I'll show you how it figures.

Uh-huh.

There are 22,000,000 Republicans

who will vote the ticket...

even if we put up

Li'I Abner.

Is he a Republican?

Yeah.

And this investigation should

be worth at least 5,000,000.

Mm-hmm.

The public loves

a good crusade.

Makes 'em think

that we're looking out

for their interests.

Oh, I'm glad

I came to America.

It's wonderful.

Marina, would you mind

trying a dance with me?

Of course! Come on.

Well, Senator,

I've been looking

all over for you.

No wonder I didn't recognize

you. What are you supposed

to be, a used laundry bag?

No, I'm still a senator.

I'm an old Roman now.

An old Roman!

Quite a Colosseum

you got there. Look...

What is it?

I want to show you a picture

I found in an Easter egg.

Come here a second.

Senator, I want you to meet

some members of the old

and now defunct firm.

Colonel Davis, Senior

and Junior, Dean Manning

and Captain Whitfield.

[Together]

How do you do?

How are you, gentlemen?

You look like

a nice bunch of fellas.

I'm sorry I've got to do

what I got to do,

but I gotta do it.

You may not have to, Senator.

Here, take a look at this

and hold on to your eyebrows.

It looks like a drunk.

Correct, Senator.

You hit the nail right on

your head. Get a good look,

you may recognize who it is.

Say, wait a minute.

That looks like me.

That's right.

That's either you

or a reasonably

plastered facsimile.

I was never drunk.

No? Then how'd that

girl get in your lap?

Don't tell me that was

the only chair in the room.

I never had a drink in my life.

All I had last night was

some Mississippi River water.

I got a witness.

I'll take this and give

you three witnesses

and six points.

Why, even your own

secretary can...

That girl.

Say, that's you.

Yes.

Oh, I begin to get it.

It was a frame-up

and she was in on it.

We're willing to leave that

to the American people or

Dr. Gallup. Take your choice.

You mean you're

going to print this?

Not necessarily.

If you called off

the investigation,

we could forget about this.

You come down

with amnesia

and we'll catch it.

There's a train pulling out

of here at midnight.

I'll give you a police escort.

What do you say,

Senator?

Well, I guess

I'll have to take it.

I got a record of 30 years

in the senate...

but it wouldn't hold up

against this picture.

You're a pretty smart

fellow, Mr. Taylor.

I kind of wish

you were a Republican.

No hard feelings,

Senator.

No, no hard feelings.

After all,

it's only politics.

Only it might've been nice

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